Graham speaks first. His eyes are down, refusing to look at me and his words are clipped. “It’s Rowan. He got out just a bit ago, we’re having trouble finding him.”
“Lucy, I swear I just let him out the side door like I always do.” Preston is basically hyperventilating, eyes red as he looks at me apologetically. “He’s never run like that. I’m so sorry. I’m going back out to look for him now.”
I know I should say something but I’m frozen. This might be my worst nightmare coming to fruition.
I feel myself falling but don’t seem to register what’s happening until my knees hit the ground. Graham is at my side instantly, helping me onto the couch. “He’s really gone?”
“We’re going to find him. He probably just wanted to check the surf, roll around in some sand. Don’t panic, okay, love?”
“It’s almost dark. There are coyotes, and mountain lions and snakes. Oh my God, why did I bring him here? What have I done? I was supposed to take care of him. I . . . I can’t lose him. He’s all I have left, he’s . . . everything. He’s the only family I’ll—”
Strong hands land on my shoulders before cupping my face and holding it up. I see Henry’s sapphire eyes, blurred by my tears, looking back at me.
“Lucy, I swear to you I will find him, okay?” I struggle to keep my eyes open, can barely comprehend him, lost in thoughts I wish I could vanquish. “Lucy, look at me. I don’t care if I’m out all night, Rowan is coming home, okay? You stay here with Graham, try to relax. I’ll be back as soon as we have him.”
“No, I’m coming. I have to go find him.” I attempt to stand but sway right into Graham’s open arms.
“Luce, you can barely stand. I think you’re in shock. Let them find him, okay? No one is going to let Rowan get hurt.”
Minutes pass that seem like hours. Graham is trying his best to keep me calm. He suggests we go for a swim, says it will help calm my nerves to float in the water. I didn’t even realize how much I’ve been shaking. I feel numb anyway, so I change into a swimsuit and throw on my paper-thin bathrobe that Rowan loves to sleep on. It smells like him.
When I get back to the living room, Preston and Jayce are there. They look defeated, red-eyed and sullen. Preston tells me they’ve looked everywhere, but it’s almost nine-thirty now and the sun has completely set. They both came back to the house assuming someone else had found him.
A few more minutes go by that feel like years. I’m curled in a ball on the floor surrounded by pillows the guys keep tossing at me since I refuse to move to the couch. I just want to stay on the ground; it feels like I’m closer to Rowan. The only sounds I hear are the guys calling neighbors, the police station, anyone they can think of to help with the search. Preston went back out with every flashlight he could find, but I already know it’s a lost cause.
I’m still lying on the ground, crying into a pillow when I hear the door open. Somehow, I know it’s Henry, and I’m not ready to hear the bad news. I bury my face into the pillow, unable to stop weeping. I feel Graham shaking me, speaking to me, but I can’t hear anything other than the ringing in my ears.
“Lucy!”
“Look!”
I hear voices but I don’t, everything muddled together with the screaming in my head. I feel Graham’s hands take hold of my face, pulling me up from the floor.
“Lucy, look! He’s home. Rowan’s fine, he’s home.”
Rowan’s safe.He’s here. He’s home. Home. When did I start thinking of this as my home? When did they start thinking that?
Rowan is licking my face and now my tears have turned joyous, but falling freely, nonetheless. What the—
God, he’s covered in sand.
“He gave us quite a fright but turns out he just wanted to do a bit of digging on the beach. Isn’t that right you sneaky little minx?” Henry is on the ground with me and Row. I’m afraid to look at him. I’m afraid of all the emotions that will overwhelm me if I take a single peek at his gorgeous face.
I’m not sure how long we all lie there, just petting Row, constantly reminding myself he’s not lost anymore, but Graham interrupts the silent snuggling.
“Luce, how about I give our little jailbird here a bath? He’s . . . disgusting, and you deserve to relax, go for that swim we never took, hey? I’ll watch him like a hawk the rest of the night.”
“Thanks, that actually sounds kind of nice. I’m way too wired to sleep yet anyway.”
Henry grasps my hand and I finally meet his eyes for the first time since he returned. “Mind if I join you?”
After Henry changes his clothes,he meets me outside where I’m lying down on the pirate raft. It’s not in the water, but it’s the most comfortable thing out here. The pool is illuminated by nothing but the hazy light of the moon, a gleaming orb suspended above us. I’m exhausted and exhilarated by tonight’s events and I want to properly thank Henry, especially after our conversation from earlier. I look at his face, his brutally perfect face, the chiseled jaw, those deep, lustrous blue eyes. Where do I even begin?
“Henry, I . . . I know that thank you doesn’t even come close to what I need to say to you.” He tries to interrupt me, but I place my hand over his mouth, willing him to let me do this. He kisses the pads of my fingers and gently takes my hand in his, tracing small circles over the back with his thumb. This loving, intimate touch feels so natural it takes me a minute to realize this is far beyond our normal. I should pull my hand away but I can’t. “You were out there for hours, and you’ve already done so much for me, and I feel like such a shitty person for what I said to you tonight, and I just need you to know how grateful I am, okay? I just, I—”
“Lucy, listen to me. You losing Rowan was never an option. I would never have come home without him.” He tugs on my hand until he pulls me up to sit directly in front of him. His other hand comes up to land on my shoulder before he starts fiddling with a loose lock of my hair. “Do you understand how important you are to me? Beingjust friendsmight not be my first choice, but it doesn’t mean I won’t do everything in my power to make you happy. I’d sell my soul to see you smile.”
I move before I even know what I’m doing. I kiss him, and it’s not friendly at all, it’s deep and delicious, and . . . what am Idoing? I pull away.
