Page 48 of Piece By Piece
“Help me if it’s so important to you,” she mumbles. I blink at her.
“Help you change?”
“Yes.” Then she opens her eyes. “Not if you’re uncomfortable. I can easily sleep like this. I just can’t move my arms anymore.”
I nearly chuckle at that. Yeah, lifting all those boxes made even me feel a bit of a burn. “I don’t mind. I’ll just open your blouse, okay?” I warn her so she won’t flinch away from my touch again. I can still remember when she thought I’d hit her after I walked in on her and Mattheo, even if only for a moment. I don’t ever want her to feel threatened by me again.
She nods, so I slowly bring my fingers to the delicate buttons, trying not to let my mind go anywhere that isn’t platonic. It’s no easy feat. Especially when I reach the middle of her shirt, which is revealing all of her cleavage and her navy blue bra now.
Once all the buttons are open and I helped her arms out of her sleeves, I say, “There, you have to help me a little with the shirt now, okay?” I slip her oversized sleeping shirt over her head and then help her raise her upper body enough for me to pull it down her back.
Hesitantly, I ask, “Do you want me to take off your bra?” It’s no big deal, anyway. I’d just reach beneath her shirt and unclasp it, then help her arms out of the straps. I’d see nothing, and yet, my voice sounds nervous and breathy.
Aliena rolls onto her back and says, “Yes, please.” So I do. I platonically take a girl’s bra off for the first time in my life. I don’t let my fingers linger at the feel of her soft back, nor do I allow myself the contemplation of how such smooth skin might look spanned over her slender back.
“Thank you. The scrubs are just fine. Come here, now,” she demands softly, patting the mattress next to her without ever opening her eyes.
With a chuckle, I untuck the blanket and cover her with it. Only then do I climb into bed with her, holding her like I did this morning. I’m oddly content now that this weird fuzzy feeling returns and settles deep inside my chest. I never spent a night cuddling with a girl. Ever. I had no idea what I was missing out on.
The next night, I’m already asleep by the time Aliena comes home. My home. Or ours, maybe, now that most of her belongings are already here. I planned on staying up, I really did. I even left the door to my room open so I’d hear her when she returned from her parents’ house, but after reading for over an hour, I must’ve finally lost the fight against sleep.
But now I’m waking up to the sound of soft footsteps. I rub my eyes and blink at the doorway where my new roomie is standing, looking hesitant. I sit up, growing worried that something might be wrong when she doesn’t speak. I texted her earlier about how long it should take until she camehome but she never answered. Maybe I should’ve called her, but I didn’t want to interrupt anything.
“You’re home. How was the visit? Is everything okay?” I ask, trying to stifle a yawn. Shit, I’m sleepy. I look over at my watch to see that it’s three am. Jesus, did she just come home now?
“Can I sleep here?” she asks rather than replying to my questions. My heart grows a little heavier at how small her voice sounds and there are a million questions I’d like to ask.
Instead, I simply say, “Of course, Sweetheart. You can sleep here every night if that’s what you want.” She nods absently and crawls under the sheets with me, instantly curling up into a ball.
I don’t move for a second, unsure as to whether she wants me to hold her or not. When, finally, she wordlessly reaches behind her and pulls my arms over her middle to clutch my hand close to her chest, I get the hint and snuggle up to her.
“Do you want me to read to you?” I ask softly. She shakes her head and takes a deep, uneven breath. When she releases it with a heavy sigh, it’s like a world of tension bleeds out of her, and she melts against me.
I’m dying to know what happened. Dying to know if there is anything I can do for her, but this is not the time. Who knows, maybe just being here is enough for now.
Over the next few days, the two of us settle into an easy, comfortable routine. All of her belongings have arrived, and Aliena unpacked most of the boxes in her room. Still, she sleeps in my bed every night, though we don’t really talkabout that. Sometimes, I read to her. Others, I just hold her. It seems like both are enough to help her sleep.
During the day, we barely see each other since we’re both busy with our usual lives. Despite that, there hasn’t been a second where I forgot she lived here too now. It’s surreal, yeah, but she never lets me forget it, leaving me leftovers or little notes in the kitchen.
It’s frightening how much I like it.
I’ve already established that we could never be more than friends. First and foremost, I don’t want a relationship and I doubt I’d be good at one. I’m my father’s son, after all. What if I inherited his unloyal traits and end up putting the woman I’m supposed to protect down instead of lift her up? I can’t imagine behaving that way, but who knows? I could one day wake up and realize I’m exactly like him.
Besides we don’t have time for anything more complicated than this.
Aliena gets home late almost every night since she likes to visit her parents after work, and I get up early to go on a run and hit my gym before my classes start. Yeah, there’s no way we would work, and yet sometimes, my treacherous mind plays a scenario where maybe, we’re more.
A scenario where I can touch her in a non-platonic way. Where her body is molded to mine every night because we both want it, not because she needs it. Where, maybe, she trusts me enough to confide in me again and talk about how her situation is developing now that she moved places or how her mother is doing.
But those thoughts are just slip-ups. Things are best this way.
Our friends don’t know about our new living arrangement judging by their lack of interrogation. I guess Aliena still hasn’t told Lily about her family problems anddoesn’t want to explain why she had to move at all. I’m used to not sharing anything too personal anyway, so it’s no big deal to keep my mouth shut about my new roomie whenever I see my friends at school.
I’m just glad that she seems to be doing slightly better, shooting me a few weak smiles or teasing me whenever our paths cross. It feels like spending time with the old Aliena. I won’t do anything to jeopardize that progress by exposing her to our friends’ curiosity.
“Seb? I’m home!” Speaking of the devil. I look at the time on my phone, surprised when I see it’s just seven in the evening. I get up from the couch I was reading on and go to meet her near the entry, feeling my lips curl up in a smile.
“Hey, you’re home early,” I observe, leaning against my elevator as I watch her struggle out of her boots. When she straightens up and takes off her jacket, she rubs her hands up and down her arms.
