Page 26 of Piece By Piece
“Better now,” I tell him truthfully. He doesn’t ask what that means. Just holds me for a little longer before he pulls away and gives me a nod. I don’t miss the way Lily is studying us curiously. Weird.
That makes Sebastian the only person I haven’t greeted, and the moment gets really awkward really quickly. For me, at least. He just keeps scrolling on his phone, still refusing to look at me while I stand between his and Mattheo’s chairs.
It’s awkward because I don’t know how to say hello. We’ve never hugged but it’s always been easy since normally, we meet at his car. He simply never gets out of the driver’s seat to hug Lily and me as the other men do.
But now that I hugged the other two right in front of him, I wonder if I should just do the same with him to complete the circle.
Before I can come to a conclusion, his eyes lazily meet mine and he arches an arrogant brow. “Did you need anything?” he demands.
Wow, I almost forgot what a jerk he was. Despite the uncomfortable feeling of rejection, I force myself to smile sarcastically and retort, “Oh, so he did notice our arrival. And here I thought rich parents taught their children manners. Or had someone else do it, at least. No worries, I’ll give you a crash course. When a friend arrives, you put your phone away and say hello,” I explain very slowly so the pea-brain may understand.
He gives me a flat look, then turns to Lily. “Sorry for my lack of manners, Lil. I was trying to finish an important email, but I should have said hello first.” Then he turns back to me. “Happy now? I said hello to my friend.”
I huff and take my seat between Lily and Mattheo without another word to him. Partially because I’m scared my voice might break if I tried to speak. I’m tired and too vulnerable to keep up with his open hostility. It’s okay, though, all I need is a sip of water to make the lump in my throat disappear. Then, I’ll be fine again.
Mattheo must have a hunch that I’m not as unbothered by Sebastian’s rejection as my expression sure expresses because he places a gentle hand on my thigh beneath the table and gives it an encouraging squeeze.
I smile at him. After a second, my eyes flick to Sebastian’s face as his eyes bore into Mattheo’s arm where it vanishes under the table. God, what is wrong with him? Why does he have to be so fuckingconfusing?
I try not to focus on him as the rest of my friends try to lighten the mood and fill the air with all sorts of nonsense topics. It becomes clear really quickly that, no matter that they don’t know about what’s going on with my parents, my friends somehow all know that I need a distraction and some cheering up. It makes me wonder what happened last night after I left.
It hasn’t even crossed my mind, but now I can’t help but think that I missed something. There are looks exchanged between them that I don’t understand, and I hate it. Despite being the only one not going to their preppy school and our vastly different financial states, they’ve never made me feel like an outsider. Never until now.
I don’t have an opportunity to subtly ask about it since they all steer clear from the topic of my birthday. That is until Sebastian breaks that rule. “So, Aliena, will you tell us what happened last night to make you leave without saying goodbye?”
The three others at the table immediately shoot him glares so he raises his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m just asking. I feel like after we spent all that money on the location, a short explanation is the least we deserve. She’s the one that talked about manners. Or lack thereof.”
Before any of the others can reply to him, I beat them to it. “Guys, he’s right. It was rude of me to leave so suddenly and without notice and I’m really, really sorry. Something personal came up and I didn’t want to explain or talk about it. It was selfish and I owe you an apology. I’m sorry if I ruined the rest of your night.”
Now it’s Lily that reaches out to touch my arm tenderly. “Don’t worry about it, Babe. We understand.” She gives Sebastian a hard stare. When I follow her gaze, I find him studying me curiously. Like maybe, despite knowing thetrue reason for my departure, he believes there’s some truth in what I just said.
“Lily’s right. There’s always another night out to make up for it and prove that you aren’t retiring from being the life of the party just yet,” Mattheo adds with a wink.
“And that next party is next Friday, I believe. Seb hasn’t hosted anything in too long.”
“Yeah, sure, you decide when I open my house to hundreds of people. And why Friday, my parties are always on Saturdays,” Sebastian wonders, though he lacks any kind of rudeness.
“Aly works on Sunday,” Lily provides. Sebastian shrugs like he couldn’t care less and doesn’t understand what it has to do with him, but he doesn’t protest, much to my surprise.
“All right, Friday it is, I guess. You’re right, I have to host again before the students of Hartford U think I lost my touch.”
“Tell me, big guy, are you allowed to dance already?” I ask Mattheo when I join my friends in the private lounge upstairs. I was at my parents’ before to check in on my dad and get some updates. Then I cooked for him and mom, who came home from work suspiciously late as dad tells me she’s been doing for a few days.
He suspects that she’s meeting with an old dealer instead, and when I saw her come home that night, her pupils dilated and her voice chirpy, I couldn’t deny that the suspicion seems likely to be true.
I was almost scared to leave the house again, no matter how badly I wanted to get out. I guess I think that if I justconstantly stay on top of things, nothing can go off the rails further. Maybe if I keep a constant eye on my mom, she’ll stop messing up further and pull herself together before it’s too late and she starts withering away like she used to.
But if she already reconnected with her old dealer, I’m not sure things haven’t gone too far for her to bounce back unharmed already. God, it’s such a mess. How could she do this? After so many years of dad taking care of her, she can’t just support him for a few weeks until he’s back to health when he’s in need? No, she has to ruin everything and make shit about herself.
I guess I know where I have the selfish gene from.
It feels like the first time when mom developed a habit. Of course, I was way too young to understand back then, but even so, it felt like she got sick from one day to the other. Too fast for anyone to stop it.
Now I’m scared to confront her about it. If we’re right, she’s in a very fragile place right now and I’m scared that an argument might only make things worse. She’s never been able to handle stress well. And if we’re wrong, she’d take great offense and be upset for sure.
So instead of talking to her, I stayed as long as I could emotionally handle it, which made me late for my friend’s party.
It’s okay, though. It doesn’t seem like I disrupted some natural order or anything. My friends seem to do just as fine without me.
