Page 5 of Hold the Pickle
“I knew it,” the manager says. “I’ve got one who’s too poor and one who’s too good.” She waves us toward the door. “Out. Both of you. I have three other people coming by for this place today. You two can live somewhere else.”
Alarm bells ring. “But I love it,” I say. “This is a great place.”
“Yes!” Rescue Princess says. “I love it, too! I’ll take it!”
“Nope,” the manager herds toward the door. “I know trouble when I see it. And you two are trouble with a capital T! Out you go. Don’t bother following me to the office.” She pushes us to the sidewalk.
Only when she’s taken off across the courtyard do I fully realize what’s happened.
I whip around to my new arch-nemesis. “You lost me this apartment!”
Her dark eyes flash with anger. “No, I was the one who could have gotten it! And you lost it forme!”
“You’re the one who accused me of faking my scrubs!”
“You’re the one who’s all, ‘Look at me, I’m a doctor!’”
“And you’re the saint who rescues kittens!”
She glares at me, which only makes her look more beautiful. I’ve got it bad.
But this isn’t about a hook-up. I need a place to sleep.
I whip away from her and stalk toward the office.
She rushes up behind me. “Where are you going?”
“To sweet-talk that lady into giving me this place.”
“Oh, no you don’t! I’m going to grovel and beg!”
“I don’t think so.” I hurry faster.
She breaks into a jog to keep up.
We arrive at the office, but when I try the knob, it’s locked.
“What the hell?” I twist it harder.
“Great, just great,” Rescue Princess pounds on the door.
The curtain moves aside at the window. We both hurry toward it.
Rescue Princess waves at her. “Please!”
“No, me!” I hold my hand to my heart. “I’ll be a model tenant.”
The woman holds up a piece of paper with the words “I’m calling the police.”
“Shit,” I say.
Rescue Princess retreats from the building. “I guess this one’s not going to happen.”
She’s right. Good thing I have a backup.
“Good luck, Rescue Princess,” I tell her.
“What did you call me?”
