Page 98 of Heartless
Clem didn’t disappoint. Not more than five minutes later, she came out of the kitchen in the back, Daphne clinging to her neck, looking equally sad and mad.
My niece had turned one and I had spent half her life close to her but hadn’t even once played with her. That had started to weigh on me.
I stood up and approached Clem, who talked to an employee, still oblivious of my presence.
“What’s up with her?” I asked without offering a hello first.
The cashier looked at me like I was a crazy lady, talking to a stranger. I focused on Clem. It took her a few seconds to respond.
“Um…Hi, Maddie.”
“Hi.”
“Is everything okay?”
Of course she would think that there was something wrong. The only time I had called her to hang out was when I had a mini breakdown over developing feelings for Parker.
“Yes. Everything’s fine. I just decided to stop by. I’m sorry. You’re clearly busy. I should go.”
“What?” Clem squealed. “No. Don’t go. Just sit and wait for me. Two minutes, okay?”
“Sure. Okay.”
I returned to my table and waited.
As I watched Clem trying to interact with another adult while her daughter abused her emotionally by screaming in anger in her face, a warm feeling filled my chest. Beneath all that baggage I carried, I loved my sister. And if that cranky little thing she carried allowed me to, I would very much like the opportunity to love her too.
Clem finally came and sat down across from me. Pointing with my chin towards Daphne, I repeated my question. “What’s up with her?”
“Lucas gave her a piece of one of our chocolate cookies last week even though I told himnotto give her chocolate. And now she cries for more whenever she sees them, which is every single f-ing day.”
“Hm,” I mumbled but actually had no idea what to say to that other thanMaybe don’t bring her to a bakery, but that wouldn’t win me any best sister awards. I hadn’t exactly been around mothers that much, but I knew judging their parenting style was a no go. So I opted for what I knew every respectable female friend would do whenever she hears a story of a man that had screwed something up. “The bastard.”
Clem burst out laughing. Apparently I was doing something right, so I decided it was okay to ask. “Why not give her chocolate though?”
My sister examined me with interest, no doubt noticing I was expressing one towards her daughter.
“She just turned one. I wanted to wait longer.”
“You can’t protect her from everything.”
“I know.” She stopped but I could see she wanted to say more.
“Go on. I’m listening.”
“Well, you’ll probably think it’s stupid.”
“Try me.”
“I miss the baby phase.” She looked down at Daphne with so much love, it made my heart ache that I didn’t have someone to love as much. “She grew up so fast. I feel sad that she’s no longer a baby, then I feel guilty about it, because as a mother I should want my child to grow and be independent.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty, Clem. You’re a great mom.”
She leaned a little and said in a hushed voice. “I had no idea how much guilt mothers harbor. It’s exhausting.”
“Well, not all mothers feel guilty,” I said, my lips twitching with a smile.
“Yeah, Sylvia Hartley is something else, isn’t she?”
