Page 90 of Heartless
I swung the door open and found her standing there, with a vulnerability in her eyes that made me want to drag her inside and comfort her. But I knew better than to bring the woman I had fallen for, whohad obviously been crying, into the place that barely had a surface without my wife’s face on it.
So I pushed her backwards towards The Pink Diamond’s entrance. That’s when I noticed she wasn’t steady on her feet and I snaked a hand around her waist. She exhaled sharply at the gesture and the smell of her breath told me everything I needed to know about her wobbling.
I bit my lower lip in an effort to hide my smile.
“I need to talk to you,” she slurred, leaning into me for support.
As much as I wanted to hear her every word, I didn’t actually think it would be a wise move on my part to let her speak while she was under the influence and obviously upset. First of all, I wanted to be sure that whatever she had to say was something she really meant and not just a thought that came to mind in her drunken haze. Second of all, Madison hated embarrassing herself and showing up at my door in the middle of the night, drunk, was something the Madison I knew would consider embarrassment. And I wasn’t ready to risk her hating me for not stopping her.
“We can talk tomorrow. Let’s get you to bed.”
I turned her around without removing my hands from her waist, and helped her inside The Pink Diamond.
As soon as I closed the door behind us, I heard a stifled sob.
“Mad,” I dropped my forehead to her shoulder and flattened my hand over her stomach. “Calm down. Whatever it is, we can deal with it tomorrow. Get some sleep now.”
“I told them,” she whispered, then sniffled. “About our arrangement.”
We had so many arrangements between us at this point but I knew she meant the fake dating one. But telling people about us could go two very different ways. Either she was finally going to let me in for real, or she was going to put an end to everything.
“Who have you told?” I asked the easier question.
“Clem and Tyler. Lucas and Hannah were there too.”
“And what exactly have you told them?”
“Everything,” she answered in a sob. “That we lied that we were dating. About this weekend and how I feel. ”
My heart jackhammered behind my ribcage like it was about to break bones and tear flesh on its way out of my body.
Don’t ask. She’s drunk. Get her in bed now, ask questions tomorrow.
But I couldn’t help it. I needed to know. “And how do you feel?”
“Confused.” She turned around to face me. I could work with confusion but then she continued. “Afraid. Humiliated. Weak.”
“Okay,” I mumbled, unsure how to continue. That was a pretty horrible combination and whether she was drunk or not, I couldn’t just ignore all of it. “Do you want to talk about it now?”
Madison shook her head. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
I kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, then I leaned down and scooped her off the floor, one hand on her back, the other under her knees and carried her to her bedroom. I helped her undress and waited sitting on the edge of the bed while she cleaned up in the bathroom.
When she finally came out, make-up free, completely naked if you didn’t count the small piece of lace between her legs, which I didn’t, her eyes avoided meeting mine. I was dying to know that she was thinking, but it would have to wait until the morning.
She rounded the bed, climbed in on one side and curled under the covers while I looked at her over my shoulder.
“Do you need me to reschedule anything so you can sleep in?”
“No,” she paused and finally looked at me, then cleared her throat. “Would you mind staying here tonight?”
Smiling like an idiot, I stood up, took my clothes off and climbed on the other side of the bed, joining her under the covers. When Ireached and dragged her body to meet mine, her breath hitched, but she pressed herself to me, seeking comfort.
“Thank you,” she sighed against my chest.
“Anything, love,” I said and squeezed her even tighter. “Anything.”
***
