Page 108 of Heartless
I looked at her as if I was thinking about it, but the second Daphne came close enough to me, I grabbed her and lifted her up in the air, while she giggled with the most adorable laugh. And it was all for me.
Who knew I could make a child happy? Not me. But putting a smile on Daphne’s face made me feel alive and present like nothing ever did.
We went to Clem’s bakery, where I helped with Daphne while my sister talked to her employees, then on our way home we decided to stop at Hannah and Tyler’s for a bit.
I expected to find two barely awake adults who smelled funny. Instead I found the happiest parents of a newborn I had ever seen.
“You two look freakishly relaxed,” I noted as we stepped inside and Daphne forgot all about my existence the moment she saw Tyler. He picked her up and totally ignored everyone else.
Clem took baby Oliver from Hannah’s arms immediately after and walked away. And that left me and my brother’s baby momma alone.
She pointed to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Water.”
She poured two glasses and we sat at their dining table.
“How are you doing lately?” Hannah asked in her usual polite way.
“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you? You just had a baby.” I waited for her to start talking about Oliver but she didn’t and I continued. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Really. I’m a lone wolf. Parker is a family guy. We’re not a good fit. He needs someone to be there for him. And we all can agree I’m not that person.”
Hannah tilted her head. “Madison, I get that you might like your independence and that you are attached to it. In a way that makes you a lone wolf. But you take care of your own. Whenever someone needed help, you showed up.”
“Never on time to prevent the disaster though. I almost single handedly ruined Clem’s wedding.”
“Everyone makes mistakes. Sorry to break it to you, but you’re not perfect. No one is.” Hannah leaned back in her chair, studying me with a gentle gaze.
I had already come to that conclusion on my own, but it still terrified me. Perfection was something I chased my entire life but lately I was trying to shift to chasing connection. It worked with Daphne.
“Clem told me you put in a lot of effort with Daphne,” Hannah said. “You have a big heart, Madison, even if you try to hide it under that tough exterior.”
I shook my head. “Parker decided not to tell me about the baby for a reason. He must have come to the same conclusion as I have. I’m not the right person to replace Franny.”
I now realized I shouldn’t have compared myself to her at all, but the thought that Parker compared us two tightened my chest every time.
“First of all,” Hannah’s voice became firm. “Parker wasn’t looking for someone toreplaceFranny. Second of all, him not telling you about the baby came from his own issues and had nothing to do with you.”
We locked eyes for a moment, then I summoned the courage to ask. “You’ve seen him?”
“Once. He came to see Oliver. He looked devastated.”
“Then why isn’t he reaching out?”
“Maybe you should reach out,” Hannah suggested.
“Maybe. But I’m focusing on work now.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I think I’ll stay in California.”
“Really? That’s amazing.”
“It would be stupid to go back to New York after all this time and after planning Annie Foster’s wedding, I think I owe it to myself to try to work for myself. Does it make any sense?”
“It does. Have you told Clem and Tyler you’re thinking about staying?”
“Not yet. Clem is so busy with the bakery and Daphne. And I didn’t want to take the attention away from Oliver. I’ll tell them.”
