Page 2 of Love and Other Chances
“No, no, nothing like that,” I reassure them. “I’m just . . . avoiding the group of sorority girls going swing dancing tonight.”
Crickets.
Amaya and Lana both stare at me. I see their eyes move to each other’s screens, make virtual eye contact, then move back to mine.
I clear my throat. “So, it dawned on me that something might be wrong. With me. You know, when I ducked out of sight instead of answering the door.”
“Yeah, ya think?” Amaya replies with a slight roll of her eyes.
Lana’s voice is laden with suspicion. “You love going swing dancing. You love doing everything. There’s clearly something wrong if you’re hiding in the kitchen instead of socializing.Whyare you hiding?”
I chew my lip, considering how to answer.Do I even know why I’m hiding? Why don’t I want to go out tonight? Why am I cowering behind the cabinets?
“I guess the thought of going dancing tonight makes me feel a little . . . explodey?” I explain.
More blank stares.
“Explodey?” Amaya questions.
“You know what, I’m being silly,” I say with a wave of my hand. “This week has been packed full of awesome. I was able to hang out in the different sororities after their recruitment activities ended each day, and we had amazing training at our daily Arrow staff meetings. We went over so much content, it was like drinking from a fire hose in the best way possible.”
I’m beginning my fourth year as a staff member with Arrow, a Christian group that helps students grow in their faith throughout college. Amaya, Lana, and I were involved when we were students at Townsend University, located in the mid-sized city of Brooklyn, Kansas. We even spent multiple summers together at Arrow’s Summer Project, aneight-week program in Florida designed to help college students grow as spiritual leaders.
After graduating, I stayed in Brooklyn to join the Arrow staff team full time while Lana started law school in D.C. and Amaya embarked on a business-world takeover in Kansas City.
I let out a mildly manic laugh. “I don’t know what came over me. Temporary insanity. Of course I want to go swing dancing and hear about how all the girls are doing now that recruitment week is over! Sorry to bug you, Beefs!”
“Oh, no you don’t,” Amaya chides. “Don’t you dare hang up, Teeg. So, you spent every day this week in staff meetings and then went straight to a different sorority every evening?”
“Well, yeah, just like every year!” I respond, trying to sound chipper.
“But you also took on a lot more responsibility at the Summer Project this year, right?” Lana asks. When I shrug and nod, she continues. “Did you take any time for yourself to rest or recharge before jumping back into beginning-of-school madness?”
I make a noncommittalhmmmsound.
“So that’s a no,” Amaya states.
“After Summer Project ended, I went on a girls’ retreat with our newest staff girl, Gina, who graduated from Townsend in May. You know, my new roommate. We spent a weekend with some of the other Arrow staff girls from the Midwest region so she could get to know more people. After that, I hosted a weekend slumber party for some of the Arrow student leaders who are in sororities. They needed a chance to bond and dream about the upcoming school year before rush week.”
“So that’s a no to the resting,” Lana echoes Amaya.
“But it was fun! I love getting to pour into all these girls and hang out together. It’s not like I was locked away at a desk job somewhere with no windows and only florescent lights. My life is awesome!” I chirp, trying to keep that weird panicky feeling locked away in my chest.
Lana and Amaya make more virtual eye contact.
“Teegs, I think you’re burning out,” Lana observes gently.
“But I can’t burn out doing something I enjoy! Socializing is the essence of my being. How could I get tired of that?”
“Yeah, but you’ve been constantly pouring out into everyone else, Beef,” Amaya adds. “Not only this week, but the whole summer.”
“More like the past three years,” Lana chimes in. “Yes, you love socializing. But you’re constantly hanging out with students you’re mentoring. Do you have any friends you’re socializing with?”
“But Idosee the girls in my Bible studies as friends. Just because I’m older and the leader doesn’t mean I’m their mom,” I justify.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. Do you have anypeersyou’re hanging out with regularly?” Lana pushes.
Hmmmm, how do I spin this? Sure, I’ve gone the past three years without ever hanging out with people outside of the Arrow universe. But it’s not like I don’t have fun.
