Page 19 of Love and Other Chances
I cross my arms with a huff. “You’re impossible.”
Brooks’ head falls back as he laughs. “You know I’m just teasing you. In all seriousness, that sounds amazing. I wish I could have done something like that during college. And it’s awesome that, as a staff member, you’re able to create that experience to help more students grow spiritually. Is Summer Project your favorite part of the job?”
“Hmmm, it’s one of my favorite parts for sure,” I reply. “I love anything where I get to be with people and help them feel included. The nice thing is that even though I have consistent meetings on my weekly schedule, there’s wiggle room each day for spontaneity. If I have a deep conversation with a girl and she’s interested in talking more, we can grab lunch or coffee the next day. Or I can spur of the moment go hang out at one of the sorority houses after a meeting.”
“Sounds like a great job description for you. Fun. Flexible. People-oriented. Checks all the Teegan boxes,” Brooks observes.
“Yeah, I guess so. I’m just not sure if . . .” I trail off, not sure where I was taking that thought. Surely my brain wasn’t planning to admit to Brooks that I’m contemplating moving on from my job. It’s a thought I’ve hardly allowed myself to dwell on, much less announce to anyone else. But every time he talks about his job, it makes me more and more interested in pursuing education again. It beckons my mind to dwell on the possibility. But that doesn’t mean that I should be looping other people into my confusion yet.Especiallynot Brooks.
Do your job, Brain, and keep a tighter rein on my tongue! I can’t go around confessing personal things like that to Brooks!
“You’re not sure if . . . what?” Brooks prods.
“I don’t know. It’s nothing,” I evade, staring at the Kansas plains rolling past my window.
“Didn’t sound like nothing.”
There’s silence, aside from the music playing from the stereo in the background. Brooks doesn’t say anything else, clearly waiting for me to fill in my thoughts.
“I’m not sure if I want to keep doing it. If I want to recommit to staying on staff or not,” I say after the long pause.
“Okay,” Brooks states.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay,” he says again. He looks over at me briefly. “You don’t have to keep doing the same thing if you don’t want to. Try something different. Nothing’s stopping you.”
“But it’s hard to argue with a job that fits my personality so wellandmakes a huge difference in people’s lives,”I contend.
“It’s not theonlyjob that would fit your personality, Teegan. Or the only job that makes a huge difference in people’s lives. There’s nothing to say you can’t change it up,” Brooks doubles down.
“Have you ever thought about doing something other than teaching?” I ask, shifting the focus off of me.
Brooks huffs a laugh. “Only every single April since I started teaching. But even though I’m exhausted at that point in the school year and start questioning every life choice I’ve ever made, in the end, I never feel like God is calling me away from teaching. I’ve only ever felt confident in staying. At least, so far. But if that ever changes, I won’t back away from giving something else a shot,” he finishes with a shrug.
I hum, considering his thoughts.I changed course once to come on staff in the first place, even though I enjoyed all my hands-on classroom experiences in college. Maybe it wouldn’t be a terrible thing to change course again?
The serious tone of the conversation (and my internal monologue) is making my insides feel itchy. “I still can’t believe that you’re a teacher,” I comment with a light tone. “Never ever would I have guessed that in high school.”
Brooks smiles. “I’ve changed in a lot of ways from who I was in high school.” His smile tightens, and the itchy feeling gets worse. He continues, “Teegan, I really need to tell you how sorry I am. I need to explain—”
“It’s fine! Let’s not rehash the past!” I interrupt with a shrill voice.We can’t go there. I can’t go there. It hurt too much. I can’t feel that again. Can’t think about it.“I forgive past you. We’ve both grown up now. Let’s just keep moving forward.”
I don’t look directly at Brooks, but I see him swallow hard in my peripheral vision.
“Tell me more about The Hangout,” I quickly redirect. “I mean, I know about the program in general since Lana used to volunteer there. But tell me about what you do specifically.”
Brooks takes the bait, thank goodness. “Some weeks, I float around and chat with students who seem less included in the groups. A lot of times, I’m in the rec area playing basketball or other sports with the students in there. I recently coordinated with the Townsend basketballteam to organize a tournament over the course of several weeks, before their season begins. I think that will help draw even more guys to come, and then hopefully they’ll continue to stick around.”
“That’s amazing, Brooks,” I say, impressed. “A girl in one of my Bible studies, Sofia, used to be an English Language Learner student at The Hangout. Lana was her tutor. Now Sofia is at Townsend as a student and volunteering as a tutor at The Hangout. I should go visit her there sometime.”
“You should definitely come check it out,” Brooks says with enthusiasm. He grins. “It would be fun to show you around.”
Heat flushes my cheeks. “So you’re hoping to start a similar program in KCMO eventually?” I ask.
Brooks nods. “Yes, I hope I can. So many students in the district would benefit from having a place to go after school, a place to belong. A way to make positive connections in the community. Ideally, I’d love to offer the program more than once a week if we could pull it off. Anything to give more students access to productive community.”
Hearing Brooks talk about his vision for the KCMO district intrigues me. We both grew up extremely privileged—in financially stable, two-parent households; received good educations from our school district; graduated from college with no student debt (thanks to my parents and to Brooks’ athletic scholarship). My experience working with college students from all different backgrounds and upbringings has made me appreciate the upper hand I had in life. It’s inspiring and compelling to see the ways that Brooks is leveraging his advantages to pull others up as well.
