Page 66 of Allison
“I get that, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have a life of your own, too,” Mercury concludes. “Allison is important to you. You may have only known her for a week or so, but she means something to you. You wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of having Luke and Tex work together to get Allison jewelry with built in real-time GPS tracking. You shouldn’t give her up for anything, not until you know for sure she isn’t the one, which from the way you talk about her, sheisThe One.”
Worm is floored. Mercury is the last person he ever expected to encourage him to pursue Allison. He’d been counting on him to pull him back to reality. “What?” Worm asks, almost sounding angry. He does his best to tone it down when he continues. “I thought for sure you would tell me to drop this nonsense and focus on my duties to family, team, and country.”
“Iamtelling you to focus on those things, family being the first and most important. Allison could very well be your family, Worm, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.” Worm’s eyes widen in shock. He is really glad Mercury can’t see him right now. “Trust me, you don’t want to be ten years or more down the road regretting your choices, because once you make them, you can’t go back and change the past, no matter how desperately you want to.”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Worm stammers, his thoughts running a hundred miles a minute. “Where’s this coming from? Do you regret choices you made regarding a girl?” It’s the only explanation Worm can think of for what Mercury has said.
“Yes.” The single word confession carries the weight of the world and a million pounds of pain. “Take it from someone who knows, Worm. Don’t let her get away. If she’s come to mean this much to you in a week? Just think how much that feeling is going to grow in another week? A month? I’d give my left nut to go back in time and change my actions, but I can’t. You have the opportunity to not make the same mistake I made.”
“Hawk is always telling us it’s never too late,” Worm says softly, suddenly wishing he hadn’t brought this level of pain to his friend. “Maybe you should take your own advice? Give her a call?” Mercury’s derisive snort is loud over the line.
“She wouldn’t answer. I really fucked things up,” he continues, sharing more about his past than he ever has with Worm. Worm had always known Mercury had something eating at him, but he rarely talked about it and when he did it was only ever vague references to a love lost.
“She was young and it was probably just infatuation on her part. I was trying to protect her. I was so much older than her and she was my best friends’, at the time, sister. I couldn’t go there…I shouldn’t have gone there, then after I did, I felt guilty and pushed her away.
“By the time I wised up and realized she was the only woman I’d ever want, she wouldn’t take my calls. I lost not only her, but some of the best friends I’d ever had. We’d all known each other all our lives. Our dads were in service together and seemed to get transferred to the same bases, so we always had each other. I lost all of them when I joined the Raiders.”
“Damn, Mercury! I’m sorry man,” Worm mumbles. “I’m glad you’re on our team, but you gave up a lot when you joined us.”
“Yeah, I did. I love being on the team and all of you guys, but I do regret what I lost by doing it.” Mercury grows quiet, likely reflecting on everything he gave up.
“I’m sorry man. I didn’t mean to bring you down,” Worm chuckles. “I only called to have you tell me I needed to run as far and as fast as I can away from Allison and the baggage she would bring into my life.”
Mercury laughs at that. “Sorry to disappoint you, brother. I’m the last person to give you that shitty advice. Don’t let her get away. You will live to regret it and begin to wish the next mission will be the one where your suffering ends.” Worm perks up at this.
“What are you saying?” Worm pushes. “Are you thinking of hurting yourself?” Worm had never thought he’d be asking one of his teammates that question, but too many good men and women have been lost to suicide. There’s no way he won’t ask even if he pisses off Mercury.
“No.” Mercury’s voice is soft and low, but not filled with anger. “It’s just some days, the pain is more than I want to keep carrying, but I can’t rid myself of it. I’d never do that to my teammates or my family, but I can understand why some people do.”Son of a bitch!Worm hadn’t intended for them to get into such an intense conversation when he’d called, but it sounds like his friend needs Worm as much as he needed Mercury.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Worm inquires. “I don’t know shit about relationships as you can tell, but you know I’m here for you. I hate that you’ve been carrying this around all this time and hadn’t shared it with us. I would totally have your back. You know that, right?”
“I do,” Mercury agrees. “It’s just so hard to talk about. For years I’ve pushed it all aside, forced myself to focus on other things, but lately, it’s…she’s been all I can think about. How I left things. How she looked when I walked away. I’ll never forget the shock and pain in her eyes. It haunts me, day and night. I don’t want that for you, Worm. Heed my warning, don’t fuck this up, man. Your sanity depends on it.”
“I won’t,” Worm assures him, all the while knowing heislikely going to fuck this up, because he can’t see a way for him and Allison to be together, especially if she ends up going back to California. He shakes his head in frustration. He is more confused about what to do now than he was before he called Mercury. Not only that, but he now has more to worry about. Mercury has been suffering in silence all the years Worm has known him.How could he not see how much agony Mercury has been in?
Worm makes a mental note to talk with his teammates about keeping an eye on Mercury. Even though Mercury had assured Worm he wasn’t suicidal, Worm isn’t going to take any chances. He and the team will be there for Mercury.
Right now, he needs to get Allison some breakfast and get them checked out of the hotel so they can head home. He forces himself to stop worrying about what the future holds and focus on what he can control in the moment. Getting her fed and on the plane, safely. He still needs to get her to talk about what happened to her, but perhaps he should leave that to Emma and the other women his teammates have chosen. There is one thing he knows for certain about those women. They will take care of Allison. They’ll make sure she has what she needs, not only physically, but emotionally, too.
His teammates have chosen the best women to make a life with and while he’d been annoyed at first when they all began to settle down, he is very thankful for each and every one of them, knowing they will take Allison under their wings and take care of her.
42
ALLISON
Russell has been distant all morning. Ever since he pulled away from their kiss when she’d woken with another nightmare. Unfortunately, she has awoken them several times since they arrived with her nightmares. She hates that she’s having such a hard time coping with the events of the last week or so.
Allison could literally feel the moment when something had crossed Russell’s mind which had caused him to shut down on her. She’d like to say it doesn’t bother her, that it’s for the best anyway, but she can’t. Not if she is being honest with herself. It had hurt badly, but she is trying to remind herself, it is for the best. They can’t be together, not like Emma and Curtis.
Allison’s sigh startles her. She hadn’t realized she was going to do it until it happened. She quickly glances at Russell who is sitting beside her at the airport. He looks over at her with concern. Oh yeah, he heard her dramatic sigh. Her shoulders hunch as she tries to make herself a little less visible. If only she’d sucked it up and kept her ass in California. She shouldn’t have come here or at the very least she shouldn’t have called Russell. She should have called Emma.
“Are you all right, Allison?” Russell asks her, causing her to flinch when he says her name. She’d been pissed as hell when they’d first met and he’d called her sugar. She didn’t like men trivializing women with silly demeaning pet names, but it had grown on her. She liked it when he called her sugar. But ever since this morning’s abrupt turn around, he’s been calling her by her given name, and…she fucking hates it!
“I’m fine,” she states flatly, turning her head to look away. They are sitting in the airport waiting for their flight to board. She keeps telling herself she can survive this, it’s only a few more hours and she’ll be in Jacksonville. She can go to the hotel where her parents are staying and get herself a room.
Ugh!That’s a depressing thought. She can hear the lecture now that she’ll be getting from her parents. If only she were a good Christian girl, things like this wouldn’t have happened to her. If only she’d stayed in Tennessee and settled down with one of the young men, they’d tried to get her to date, this wouldn’t have happened to her. The list will go on and on for hours, days even. She’ll never hear the end of it. They won’t be satisfied that she’d been hit, held captive, stalked, and scared out of her mind to the point she’d had to leave her home. No, they’ll make sure to magnify her trauma by letting her know it is one hundred percent her fault for not listening to them.
Allison’s eyes begin to sting. Oh God!Please don’t let me start crying again, she thinks.What is wrong with me?She’s never been this emotional before? It’s like she can’t turn off the water works. Her hormones must be out of whack or something. It hits her then, in that moment. She never got a chance to take the Plan B pill. She’d been kidnapped and held for three days. Even worse, they hadn’t used a condom in the last two days either.
