Page 32 of What Doesn't Kill Her
“Out here, we’re superheroes and we don’t have grandma rules. When we get home—then we’ll put on our disguises and keep the grandma rules.”
Rae wiped her nose on her sleeve.
Kellen was getting pretty good at handling the kid. But she was dragging under the weight of the pink bag, her own backpack and the weight of the suitcase with the head. She looked around. They stood in a grove of tall hemlocks and fir, out of sight of the road. “We have to consolidate our belongings in my backpack.”
“What do you mean?” Rae asked suspiciously; the kid was no fool.
“I mean we have to put all the necessary stuff from your bag into mine so I can carry it.”
“I can carry my bag.”
“You can’t. You need to put all your effort into hiking.”
“You can carry my bag.”
“Can’t. It’s pink.”
“I like pink!”
“It’s bright and we’re superheroes...in hiding.”
“I want my bag!”
“We’ll stash your bag.”
“I have to have all my princesses!”
“Then you’ll have to leave Patrick.”
“But I have to have Patrick!”
“I won’t be able to carry it all.”
“I can carry it.”
And...they were back at the beginning. Kellen had lost track of the issues. The kid had her wound up in knots.
Rae took a long breath, ready to fight or cry or—
Kellen reached into Rae’s bag, grabbed the crumpled brown bag and pulled out the first thing she found. “Here. Eat this!” She shoved a muffin studded with cranberries into Rae’s hand.
Rae debated for a moment, crying or eating, and eating won. She gobbled the muffin.
Thank God. The rule was that an Army always traveled on its stomach. Kellen needed to remember—so did Rae.
She stared at her child and for one painful moment she remembered Afghanistan and...
A burned-out house. A melted coil of metal. The stench of desperation and death.
God. God. Kellen had tried so hard not to get involved with Rae, to care so much she hurt herself...and the child. More than anything in the world, she didn’t want to hurt her own child.
Rae stared at her. “Mommy, are you sad?”
Was she crying? Kellen put her hand to her face. No. Her cheeks were dry. But somehow, Rae saw too much. “I’m okay. I’m just concerned about what we do next.”
From down the road, they heard the sound of an approaching vehicle.
“It’s Daddy!” Rae leaped to her feet.
