Page 80 of Coming Up Roses
I stomp up the hill towards my flat, my head down and filled with storm clouds.
Movement in the dark startles me and my heart leaps into my throat as a figure stands from the shadow of the front step.
My mind immediately goes to Abi, then I scoff at myself. It’s probably Hunter here to yell at me for being a shithead. There’s no way Abi would be sitting on my front step waiting for me. There’s just no way.
Except as I get closer I can make out the dark spill of her hair and the full curves of her body.
She’s here.
I want to reach out and pull her to me and never let her go. I want to wrap my arms around her and slide my hands into her hair. I want to have her do the same to me.
“I brought you some dinner,” she says.
“Thanks,” I mutter, shoving open my front door. Abi follows me inside and slides a plate and a bowl onto the counter. There’s apple pie in the bowl and the sight of the cinnamon sugar-crusted top makes tears threaten to spill over.
Abi trails her fingers down my arm.
“I can’t tonight,” I burst out. “I just can’t. Not tonight.” My voice cracks and threatens to break.
Abi pulls her hand back, but steps closer, right into my space. “What do you mean?”
“Sex, hooking up, whatever. I can’t be what you need tonight.”
Her soft hands cup my cheeks, lifting my chin so my gazemeets hers. “I’m not here for that, sweetheart. I’m here to make sure you’re okay.” She brushes her thumbs across my cheeks and I’m horrified when a tear spills down my face. She swipes it away without comment. “I can go if you want me to, or I can stay and look after you for once.”
I should ask her to leave. I’m in no state for being around people tonight. It’s why I spent all day in a tractor out the back of the farm planting the summer feed crops. I can’t make my voice work though, and when Abi drops a hand from my face and wraps her arm around my waist, tugging me to her, I don’t pull away.
I fall into the embrace, clinging to her as the endless ocean of emotions swirls around me.
“Do you want to eat or shower first?” she asks against the base of my throat. Her warm breath sends shivers over my body.
“I just want to sleep,” I mumble.
“Soon,” she soothes, sliding a hand into my hair.
“Shower,” I mutter. “I’m filthy.”
“Yeah, you kind of are.” Abi pulls back and wrinkles her nose as she takes in my dusty state.
“I can’t believe you hugged me when I’m like this.” I try for a joke but I don’t know if my execution lands it.
Her hands are back on my face in an instant, connecting my gaze to hers. “I will always hug you when you need it, okay?”
I nod and when she slips her hand into mine and leads me to the bathroom, I follow.
She turns on the hot water then returns her focus to me. “Do you want help?”
I shake my head, then nod, then shrug hopelessly because all I want is for it to be ten years and one day ago.
“Come on, sweetheart.” Abi steps in close and slides her hands under the hem of my shirt, lifting it off over my head.
Her hand glides back down my chest, but the movement isn’t teasing, it isn’t meant to turn me on. It’s comforting, it’s reassuring. She pauses when her hands reach my fly, her eyes searching mine for consent.
I nod, then drop my forehead down to her shoulder. I can do this myself. I should be doing this myself. But right now, I just can’t. Being taken care of feels too good.
Abi pushes my jeans from my hips, down over my ass, taking my underwear with them. She pushes them down my legs and holds my arm as I step out of them.
“You don’t have to do this,” I mutter as she leads me to the shower, heat on my cheeks. This is mortifying, but I’m all out of emotions that make me want to give a shit.
