Page 10 of Coming Up Roses
I wasn’t lying to him though, they were happy tears. Okay, and maybe a few sad ones when I realised how much time I’ve missed.
How much I’ve missed of watching Sadie grow up. Yeah, she’s only five and there’s years left for me to learn everything about her and watch her grow from the precocious child she is now to an adult.
But I missedthree years. Three years because I let anxiety rule my life.
The miracle of it all is neither Dallas nor Sadie seem to hold it against me. At all.
Sadie was a little shy to start with—who could blame her—but it didn’t take long until she was chatting away, telling me allabout school and the horses and how Katie is teaching her and Dallas to ride.
That little bit of information about Dallas surprised me. He knows how to ride. We’ve gone riding together in the past, but when Sadie dropped that comment and I met Dallas’s eyes above her head, he just shook his head, dismissing my question. I’ll get to that another time. I have all the time in the world to get to know them again. I’m looking forward to every moment.
I pull into the driveway of the little house I’ve rented.
It’s an old-fashioned bungalow, but it’s been kept in excellent repair and the interiors are in great condition considering it doesn’t look like they’ve been updated for about fifteen years. There are three bedrooms, which seems like a lot for just me, but I hope Sadie will soon have a room here, and I can use the third room as an office.
Heading inside, I drop my keys onto the wide island bench and open the Ranchslider, stepping out onto the deck. I kick off the black patent heels I’ve been wearing all day and stretch my toes against the timber decking.
What sold me on the house, aside from the charm of the place as a whole—was the backyard, which has a gorgeous deck that catches so much sun and a large stretch of lawn with a few fruit trees dotted around the section.
It’s the perfect family home and that’s the reason I’m here. Family. It’s time for me to stop letting down the people I care most about in this world.
I savour the late afternoon sun for a few more moments before heading inside and grabbing one of my pre-preparedmeals for dinner. The relief at having thought ahead for this week is real, because I am exhausted.
I’m just pulling the heated food out of the microwave when my phone rings. My best friend’s name appears on the screen and I swipe to answer the video call.
“Hey, Em,” I say, grabbing a fork from the drawer and heading back to the deck to eat while we chat.
I met Emily in my antenatal parenting classes. We stayed in touch after the classes ended and our babies were born. We were the youngest in the class, me aged twenty-one, her twenty, and I think we bonded over being young mothers. Everyone else in the class was married, or settled in a long-term relationship and while Dallas and I had been together for a little while before Sadie came along, Emily’s baby daddy wasn’t a regular on the scene.
She’s a great mum though, and now has a fiancé that loves Emily more than life itself, and treats her son, Cody, like he’s her own.
“How’s the wedding planner?” Emily asks through the phone. Her camera is shaking around all over the place and I give her a moment to situate herself. Her face steadies and as I take in her blonde hair piled on top of her head in the messiest messy bun and the freckles on her cheeks, I have a pang of homesickness so strong it brings tears to my eyes.
“I’m an events coordinator, thank you very much,” I say. “I do more than just weddings.”
“Oh, sorry, sorry. My apologies, madam events coordinator. But how was day one?”
“It was good. Exhausting, and I didn’t even do anything.”
“New jobs are always exhausting. Be prepared to be tired for at least the first month.”
“Says the person who hasn’t started a new job in years.”
She grins. “What can I say? Trophy wife life suits me.”
“Sure does,” a voice echoes in the background. “Hi, Abi.”
“Hi, Simone,” I say, laughing as Emily preens under her affection.
I ignore the pang that shoots through my chest over the fact that I once had that. I once had the perfect partner and a delightful child. A family. And I let them both down and ruinedeverything. The only peace I get from the situation is that they’re so incredibly happy here, and that they haven’t completely written me off.
“Tell me about who you work with,” Emily says, interrupting another thought spiral.
“Well, there’s Olivia, who’s my boss. The events part of the family business was supposed to be hers, but her dad died earlier this year and she’s spending all her time dealing with farm stuff.”
“Didn’t you say Dallas was running the farm?”
“He’s the manager yeah, but I guess there’s still plenty for Olivia to be doing. Her mum, Violet, helps her a whole lot too.”
