Page 51 of SEAL's Doorstep Baby
His eyes blink rapidly as he thinks. “The woman I’m raising Maddie with,” he corrects, then, glancing at me. “A very dear friend of mine. And this is Naomi, a friend from way back.”
That’s all I am now, isn’t it? Your ‘dear’ friend.
She stretches out a hand, and I meet it with a firm grip. “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Pleasure.” I reply, but my sentiment is false because it is anything but a pleasure to have her here. Jake and I are friends of course, and we have reason to put a name to whatever this relationship between us is, but having him introduce me as just a friend is more than I can bear.
I don’t want to be here watching her flirt with him, but I don’t have much of a choice. Maddie is fast asleep and any attempts to move her will be met with loud protests.
“I have stuff to attend to right now, and I need to check on Maddie as well. I’ll leave you both to catch up.” I tell them, stepping away.
I check on Maddie, and she’s still fast asleep. With nothing more to do for the moment, I pull up my emails. I am scrolling through them when I see one in particular that catches my attention.
The New York University Department of Biology invites you to be a part of the Plant Genomic Research program to join us in…
It is hard not to let out a scream by the time I am halfway done reading through the email, but I manage to restrain myself.
How did this happen?I ask myself, but like most people do with good news, I don’t worry too much about the source of my good luck. I can vaguely remember applying for the job with Emily’s encouragement, but I had not thought it would happen for a single moment.
The absolute joy that fills me suddenly comes crashing down.
From the other room, I hear Jacob laugh. In there, another woman is making him laugh.
I look back at the email, and despair fills me.
If I take this job, it would mean leaving Jacob and Maddie.
I read the email again, the details searing into my brain. I feel like I could cry.
And, in fact, I do.
This job… it’s everything I have ever dreamed of. It’s everything I could have wanted.
Suddenly, I don’t know who I am anymore.
I stand up suddenly, not even bothering closing the laptop. I go straight to Maddie’s room.
She’s still sleeping.
Since the day that I took over Maddie’s care, I threw myself into that little girl. I threw myself into being the person that Maddie and Emily needed me to be. And I haven’t regretted it, not once in these months. Even if it’s hard.
I brush her curling brown hair away from her face. She leans into my touch.
I used to want to get out of here. I used to want a big world in a big city with big dreams.
Can a small life be okay for me?
Do I even have a choice?
In the other room, Jacob’s footsteps echo. I close my eyes, a wave of despair coming over me again.
I think…
I think I could love him.
I think I already might.
He’s kind and funny and brave. He takes charge, takes control of things—he dealt with Jeff in one afternoon, after he had plagued me and Emily for months. He protects us. He cares for us. I know he cares for me, even if it’s not as much as I want. As much as I need. It’s still…
