Page 24 of SEAL's Doorstep Baby
“There’s no big trick to it, honestly,” he shrugs. “I just talk to her like she is one of my men—the more stubborn ones, mind you—and it always works.”
I laugh. “What’s scarier, a mini tornado or a grizzled navy SEAL?” I joke, sitting at the table. I pull a few paper towels off the roll and pass them to him.
I watch Jacob resting my chin on my fist as he cleans himself up. It has been a full week since I’ve moved into Emily’s apartment with Jacob. Every morning still fills me with pangs of sadness, but it’s getting easier and easier to swallow that along with my morning coffee and be functional before breakfast.
Other things, though…. other things are getting harder.
Like, how long it takes Jacob to shower every day. That’s annoying. He used to take brisk, army-trained showers. Now, because it’s likely his only break in the day, he lingers in there, using up all the hot water and the soap I buy. Annoying.
And like how stupidly attractive he is. I’m forced day in and day out to acknowledge it now, which is starting to get on my nerves. It’sannoyinghow hot he is. His hair is growing out, just a little, just enough for me to want to know what it feels like against my fingertips. And seeing him as such a steady presence, as such a comforting presence… It’s been getting harder to not think about that time we spent together so many years ago.
I almost want to bring it up. To suggest, hey, remember that? To see if he ever thinks of it, too…
I startle, sitting up.
Jacob looks at me with a frown. “What? I miss a spot.”
I blink a few times, trying to clear my head.Stupid. I do not need to be thinking of that right now.“Yes. You look disgusting.”
I stand up, grabbing Maddie quickly, and making my exit before I lose my mind and actually say something.
Maddie squirms in my arms, wanting to go back to her beloved uncle, but the problem is, I want that, too, and that’s such a messed up thought. So I refuse to even think it.
I get Maddie changed and put her on her play mat. She’s getting stronger, but according to the parenting books I’ve been reading, she’s a bit behind. Apparently, a month can make a hell of a lot of a difference, and I’m worried Jacob and I are the ones slowing her down.
I make sure she’s surrounded by soft toys and books to grasp at before I settle on the floor next to her.
I pull out my phone, scrolling mindlessly. I’ve been pretty uninterested in everything on it since Emily. Now that I’m not communicating funeral details to people, I mostly can’t be bothered with anything. I ignore all the messages from old work acquaintances, friends, old college buddies of mine, and Emily’s. I don’t care.
I do send a cursory text back to my mom—who has been threatening to move in next door for a week now—and check my email out of habit. There’s nothing new there besides shopping coupons and spam, so I ignore it.
Then I get to work.
Pretty much all my spare time is spent hunting down stupid Jeff.
I know this is not my business, that this is up to CPS, or the state, or even Jacob. But there’s something about the fact that Jeff couldn’t even be bothered to come to Emily’s funeral that makes me want to hunt the man down and kill him. Or, at least, verbally lash him.
Predictably, I find nothing. I’m just giving up when Jacob pops his head into the nursery.
“Uh,” he says, and I cock my head to the side. He looks around, almost sheepishly, and I give in.
I wave a hand. “Come join the girls.”
He quickly sits beside me. He’s close enough that our legs touch. I think it’s an accident, but the room is small, so I don’t tell him to scoot away.
“You’ve been acting weird,” he says, voice firm.
My brows leap. I look at him sideways. “Uh, okay. Bold.”
“You have been.”
“Is this how you lead your armies? Rude commentary?”
“Is this how you—wait, what do you do?” Jacob furrows his brow.
I look at him in disbelief. “You don’t know what Ido?”
“Um…”
