Page 15 of SEAL's Doorstep Baby
“Okay. Thanks,” he agrees, and I feel some of the tension leave me.
“You’re welcome.” I lean close to lightly touch Maddie’s chin before I leave. “Be good for your uncle, Princess Maddison. I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.”
Kissing her forehead, I pull her blankets back around her until she is properly covered.
As I head out, Jacob follows me, the baby monitor in his hand.
“I haven’t had a chance to say this until now, but now feels like as good a time as any. I haven’t been back for long, but in all that time, I haven’t seen anyone be as present for Maddison as you are. I told Maddie she’s a lucky girl to have you as a godmother, and I really mean it.” He peers at me with his intense eyes. In this light, his eyes look like a window into the sea.
“The other person who was lucky was Emily—to have a friend like you,” Jacob finishes.
“Thank you, Jake.” I am almost embarrassed by the intensity with which he praises me. It makes me duck my head for a second before I grab my purse. I want to be away from his gaze for a bit, if only so I can recoup myself before I meet it again. “Take care, okay? I’ll be around tomorrow, just like I said,” I say, now that I am safely behind the steering wheel.
“And the next day after that. I remember.” His cheek dimples as one side of his mouth rises in a half smile.
“Exactly! And the next one, and the one right after,” Jacob says, his smile turning playful.
I am beaming by the time I finish my reply. “Bye Jake!” I wave as I start my journey out of the driveway. Jacob steps back for a moment, and the baby monitor walkie-talkie pinned to the front of his dark shirt makes him look exactly like what he is—a navy SEAL dad.
It is a ten minute drive back to my place. When Jacob told me that he had decided to lease his place and stay at Emily’s yesterday, it had filled me with relief. And not just because it meant I could reasonably start staying at my apartment again, instead of in Jacob’s guest room.
It’s a small peace offering, but I see it for what it is—Jacob choosing the place that’s closer to me, rather than the one he’d prefer. It’s a small thing, but it’s putting Maddie—and me—over him. It helps soothe some of my anxiety about this near-stranger taking care of the kid I love like she’s my own.
I’d had my reservations about the guy for years, especially after Emily didn’t want to tell him about her pregnancy.
“He didn’t know about any of it, not even that I was having a kid,” she had sobbed while explaining.“The last time we spoke on a call, he was about to go somewhere and he couldn’t predictwhen he’d be back. That’s why I didn’t tell him about any of it, I didn’t want him worrying about me, and losing focus on what mattered. I am glad I didn’t say anything, because he is on his way back.”
“But now we are speaking again, and he has a niece he didn’t even know was on the way. This is coming right off a mission that took way too long to come to an end. Allie, do you understand why I have to tell him in stages?”
When she had explained, I had seen her point, but right now, all of it is too hard to deal with.
Being in my room and under the blankets is nice.
I miss Emily. I miss the noise of Maddie. I even miss Jacob.
I know it’s good to get a bit of distance—I’m still job hunting, my leave at my part time gig at the flower shop is probably almost over, and I haven’t called my parents in days. I need the time. But…
I wish I was with them.
I am warm and snug, but I can’t fall asleep yet. I had not been raised Catholic, but Emily had been, so I say a small prayer—an open plea really—for her, and for Maddie too.
I finally drift off into sleep, knowing I would wake with Jake and Maddie on my mind.
Chapter seven
JACOB
Putting Maddie to bed with Allison was easy. So easy that I felt like it might not be true, but ten minutes later she is still there, looking as innocent and cherubic as a painted version of angels.
I think about Emily as I watch Maddie sleep. It has been less than a month since the accident, and yet I am already sleeping in her bed, her clothes are at this very moment pushed to the back of the closet to make room for mine. Very soon, most of her belongings will have new owners and users, until almost everyone forgets about her.
Everyone but me, Allison, and you, little Maddison.
There will eventually be a time when she will fade away from the minds of most of those who knew her, and she’ll become just a passing memory, but for Maddie and me, she will always be more than that. She will always be here, living on in her baby girl, and living on in me. For those who had shared abond tighter than just that of casual friendship, she will be immortalized in their memory.
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
Allison flashes through my mind, and the thought of her gives me a good feeling. One that I can’t describe. I may not be able to say exactly what feeling it is, but I can describe exactly what I think Allison is. Loyal.
