Page 57 of Always Watching
“I… fuck. Wylder, nothing has ever mattered this much.” My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It’s low and growly, but there’s a streak of pain and confusion running through it that reaches into my chest and threatens to drown me in the enormity of my confession. The words are there on the tip of my tongue, but I have to say them to Ranen first.
Thatseems important.
“It’s like that, huh?” My brother knows. I don’t have to say it. He sighs again and blows out a breath. “I’ll make some calls. And when whatever asshole I connect with tells me I owe them a favor, I’m coming after your ass to help me return it, understood?”
He sounds reluctant, but determined.
“I do. Thank you, I—”
“I’m not done yet.” This time, he’s the one who cuts me off. “I’m coming to town. If I’m going to throw myself to the wolves, I want to meet this Ranen.” His voice lowers to a mutter, and I think I hear the words“going to be my brother soon, anyway,”but I ignore them.
“Whatever you want, Wylder.” I’ve never made a promise so easily. I’m willing to give whatever it takes to keep Ranen safe. I’m willing to have my brother call in favors that I know he doesn’t want to call in.
I’d risk it all.
“I’ll call you once I figure something out.”
“Thank you.”
“You owe me, brother,” Wylder grumbles, then hangs up before I can say anything else.
I blow out another breath, running my fingers through my hair with a soft sigh. His connections will take a while, and I know that. It’s one of the other reasons I hadn’t asked him for help yet. I was sure the fucker after Ranen would make a mistake by now, but he’s only threatened him.
Made him uneasy.
Been a presence in our life I can’t seem to erase.
I send off Ranen’s website and login information to Wylder with a low grumble. This is another reason I didn’t actually want to ask my brother for help. He’s going to have access to all of Ranen’s information—his shows, his life. I’m not ashamed of what he does, but the thought of my brother seeingmyman naked is…
I don’t like it.
I stuff my phone into my pocket and head back inside, wondering whether Ranen is still in the shower. I’m halfway to the apartment when Ifeelsomething before I see it—something’s wrong. And like my brain is just taking a secondto catch up with what my instincts are telling me, I’m running before I realize what’s going on.
The door is open, and I barely have the mind to close it behind me as I race inside… But there’s someone in there with him, and I know…
I know that what I’m about to do has to be done behind closed doors.
No one can know.
No one but Ranen and the dead man, who’s standing in front of him with a knife.
I’ve felta lotof things while I was killing people before—satisfaction, ambivalence, rage.
I’ve never feltthis. It’s some strange mixture of pure fury and a deadly chill. It’s a coldness that settles into my stomach and spreads throughout my body, a sensation that’s almost numbing even as I step forward and grab Ranen’s landlord—because of course it was hisfucking landlord—and jerk him toward me. I don’t even feel it when the knife he’s holding runs across my arm and leaves a trail of blood sluicing down my wrist. It doesn’t matter. I raise one hand and hear a loudsnapas the knife falls from his broken wrist. The other lifts and wraps around his throat, cutting off the sound he was about to make.
My eyes drift to Ranen. Ranen, who has a splotch of red on his face. Ranen, who is seeing me without my mask for the first time. Ranen, who all this is for to begin with.
Is it appropriate to tell someone you love them while you’re squeezing the life out of their attacker?
The words die on my tongue, and I turn my eyes back to the fucker in my hands. I can feel his pulse thundering beneath my fingertips, can hear the ragged little gasps of air he’s trying to draw in beneath my grip.
“You don’t know how much I want to take my time.” I lean in, starting to squeeze. His eyes bulge, his face going a mottled red.“You don’t know how much I would love to tie you down and keep you screaming for months. You’re lucky he’s here. You’re sofuckinglucky I don’t have more time.” I squeeze harder, and he whines in my hand like some broken thing before a loud, terrible crunch sounds through the air. His windpipe caves in, and he scrambles at my arm, his fingers tearing at the cut he left behind, his body jerking and attempting to free himself.
His lips work like he’s trying to say something, and I just shake my head.
“Fuck you. Ranen ismine, and you’re a dead man.” I squeeze harder, until the violent pounding beneath my fingers stops. Until he’s dead.
When I drop him unceremoniously to the floor and look up, Ranen is staring at me, pale and wide-eyed.
