Page 50 of Always Watching
It’s not like I haven’t asked him for help before, but this is different. This involves someone else.
This involves someone who doesn’t know about me, about whatwedo. What we really are. I know in the back of my mind it’s not just myself I’m putting at risk by potentially letting Ranen know about me. It’s Dad. It’s Wylder. It’s all of us.
And I’m selfish enough that I’m willing to risk it if it means I can keep him.
Dad’s quiet for a second, then he sighs. “You’re sure about this, North?”
My eyes flick to the bathroom where Ranen is getting cleaned up, and I nod. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”
The words are true. Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I can’t do anything else.
He’s quiet again, and I hate that I’m not there to see his face, to read his expression and figure out whether he’s upset or disappointed orhappyfor me. I don’t know what he thinks about all of this. Ishouldhave asked him about it when I was at his house, maybe while both of us were cleaning up the dead body I’d left in his basement. I could have figured out how he handled a relationship when my mother was alive. I could have asked him how I was supposed to make this work, how I was supposed to make Ranenunderstand.
I had all the time in the world then, but now…
Well, now I don’t have time to ask him much of anything, or tell him what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling. I can’t get any real advice. I can just let him know that I’m going to need it. Soon.
“I’m guessing you’re with him right now,” he says. At least he knows what I’m talking about.
“Yeah.”
“This sounds like something we need to be able to discuss freely if you need me to help you kill someone, son.”
I pause. He doesn’t sound angry about it. He doesn’t even sound upset.
Dad sounds… intrigued. Maybe a little apprehensive, but…
“I can call you back later tonight if you’ll be awake. I just need to make sure he’s safe, Dad. I…” I hesitate. “I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to him.”
The confession comes out soft, catching at the back of my throat and threatening to strangle me with emotions I’ve never experienced before. I don’t know how to process them.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
“Just… North. You have to be sure—completely sure—that this is what you want. People like us…” He pauses, and I hear the strain in his voice, pain that echoes from a shattered past and a scar in the shape of my mother that trails across his heart. “It’s forever or nothing. Do you understand?”
“I do,” I say softly. He lets out a softhmmand laughs.
“Well. Call me back later tonight. We’ll figure this shit out. And then I think you need to bring Ranen over so we can all talk.”
That doesn’t sound ominous at all.
“Okay.” I’m not exactly sure how I feel about some fancy family meeting, but I’m the one who called him for help. That means I can’t really question how he plans on giving it, can I? I just need someone to make sure Ranen is safe, maybe to help me track down the guy… Iknowwho I should call for that.
Like he’s reading my mind, Dad speaks. “Have you thought about calling your brother?”
I already pulled Wylder into this by asking him to take out the men from before. His words from earlier are still echoing in my mind—people like us can’t keep people, can’t have what I want with Ranen.
Maybe I don’t want to hear it.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Dad doesn’t hesitate this time. “You know he could help.”
“Maybe,” I grunt. “But I can handle it without him. We can handle it without him.”
“North…”
The bathroom door creaks open, and Ranen comes out in nothing but a robe. My body instantly reacts, my cock going hard and my heartbeat accelerating. Since it isn’t a reaction I want to have while I’m on the phone with my dad, I quickly say goodbye and hang up.
