Page 43 of Always Watching
We talk for a little while longer, then the smell of something baking drifts through my nose. I tell Olly I have to go, and hustle to the kitchen.
It always smells so good when North cooks.
He looks over his shoulder at me before going back to taking the muffins from the pan. “Have a good conversation?”
“Yeah,” I say, moving around him to snag a muffin. “He was just worried about me after watching our session. He said it looked like you were rough with me.”
North stops removing the muffins to peer down at me. His face holds a look of apprehension that looks out of place. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, not at all. You felt good.Reallygood. I’m sore, yeah, but that’s to be expected.” He doesn’t look mollified, so I put my muffin down and walk over to him. I turn him so we’re facing each other. Reaching up, I place a hand on his face, holding his cheek gently. “You did not hurt me. I would have told you if you had.” My cheeks heat as I say, “I can’t wait to do it again.”
A grin spreads across his face that I mirror. “As soon as you can take me again, we can fuck as often as you’d like.”
“I look forward to it.”
With a slap of my ass, he finishes putting the muffins in the bowl and sets the table. I take my bitten muffin and put it on a plate, and place one on North’s as well.
“See,” he says, eyes twinkling. “You take care of me too.”
Smiling, I bend down and kiss him soundly, enjoying our little bubble.
Chapter 16
North
Itold Ranen itwas easy taking care of him. Itwaseasy being with him. It was one of the truest things I’d ever said, chased on the heels of a lie. I want to stay with him every second of every day, live just beneath his skin so I can make sure he’s safe… and I want to find the person who hurt him and rip their jaw off and slit their throat with the bone shards.
Being with Ranen is easy—staying by his side instead of hunting ishard.
At least it’s easy to distract myself. I’m not sure if it’s just that he’s never been taken care of before, or if Ranen can somehow sense how much Iwanthim, but he seems eager to please, to let me spoil him, touch him… to let me make him feel good any chance I can. He lets me slip into the shower with him in the morning and jerk him until he’s a puddle of loose muscles in my arms.
When we lie in bed at night, he usually turns to me in his sleep, and his lithe little body ruts against my thigh, betraying exactly how much he wants, even when he doesn’t say anything.
The way Iwanthim is dangerous. I want to fuck him until he can’t think of anything but exactly how I feel, exactly how his ass is made to take my cock.
I’m probably being overly cautious with how long I’m making him wait, but I want to make sure I don’t hurt him—the only problem with Ranen is that he’stooeager to please. I think if he had a chance, he’d break himself on me without a second thought, and he’d probably do it with a smile.
Which is why I’m taking him out to dinner days after his show, when I’m fairly certain I could probably have had him on his knees for me in the apartment without so much as saying a word.
“You really don’t have to do this,” he says for what has to be the tenth time. But the smile on his face tells me even though he might be protesting, he’s still enjoying exactly what’s happening. It’s not like I’m rich—not by any means. Working with Dad lets me pay for my house, my bills… and every so often allows me to splurge on things like taking someone out on a…
A date?
Whatarewe, exactly? It’s a question I haven’t really asked, because the wordboyfrienddoesn’t sound like it measures up in the least to the way I feel about him. But I still haven’t figured out exactly how to tell Ranen I want to cut myself open just for him. I want him to stay sheltered between my ribs and teach my heart the rhythm of his so it can learn how to beat…
I have an odd feeling that might be a little too intense, even if he has given me every part of himself whenever I’ve asked.
And even when I haven’t.
“I don’t have to do anything.” I smile at him, and it brings a sweet little splotch of color to his cheeks. “Iwantto.”
And it’s as simple as that. At the end of the day, I want to spend my time with him. I want tobewith him, to get to know him. It’s satisfying parts of me that have never felt full before, little placesI’d filled up with killing and stalking, hurting and hunting. I still want those things, but when I’m with Ranen…
Well, when I’m with him, it seems like they can wait for a while, as long as I know he’s safe.
Dangerous. All of it’s dangerous. It might not have broken me, but I know losing my mother killed a part of Dad that never came back. The fact that he’s showing interest in someone else for the first time that I can remember is… well, it’s saying something.
But it took nearly my entire life.
