Page 21 of Always Watching
“Are you staying to eat, Atlas?” Ranen’s voice comes out sweet, interrupting the silent conversation I’m having with the man standing across from me. That same warm expression stays on Dad’s face when he turns to him.
“Sure, I can stick around. We didn’t really get a chance to talk when we met before. I’d love to get to know the man who finally made my son sit in one place.”
Asshole. Of course he’s going to stay and prod now that he knows something’s going on.
Of course he’s going to make sure I don’t get to just drop a word likeboyfriendwithout giving him some kind of prior notice.
Between him and Wylder, I’m going to end up never living this down.
When I look over at Ranen and see the soft smile on his face as he turns to the cabinet and starts pulling down bowls to dish up the food, I realize it’s worth it. If I have to listen to them giving me shit for the rest of the year, seeing that smile in person, a genuine smile instead of the one he puts on when he’s working?
It’s worth it.
It’s later that afternoon, after Dadfinallydecides to leave, that I find myself thinking about the things Ranen has said to me over the past week. I’ve caught him looking into the room I’ve been sleeping in more than once, his eyes wary and his expression torn. I know he enjoys his work, and I can tell he wants to get back to it... but I can’t say I blame him for being cautious.
It’s not like I can tell him I’ve been carefully making sure that anyone who said anything negative about what happened is disappearing from the world. If I left him anonymous pictures of dead bodies, he’d probably just assume it was his stalker.
But... maybe I don’t have to go quite that far yet. It’s not like anything will make him feel better until he knows the person who hurt him is gone, but I can still make sure that he knows he’s safe.
“Ranen?” I say his name softly while he’s at the sink cleaning up after dinner. He looks up at me with that same soft expression, and I feel myself being drawn in further. This is the problem. This is why I’m here to begin with.
It’s his expressions, the way he’s so open and honest, and the way that warmth seems to spill from his eyes, even thoughhe has every reason to be completely shuttered off after what happened to him.
I don’t have to know him to know I want to keep him. Which means I need to do the best I can to make him feel better.
“Your dad seems nice.” His voice is conversational, and he doesn’tsoundoffended that a stranger showed up and stayed for lunch.
Of course, I’m a stranger who showed up and stayedforever, so maybe I prepped him for it by accident.
“He could have called first,” I answer, but I shrug as I say it. I’m sure I’ll get an earful from him the next time I talk to him, but he did seem to genuinely enjoy the conversation he had with Ranen. I learned how to fake being a polite member of society from him, but I know my dad well enough to know when it’s a mask and when he means it.
I think he meant it with Ranen.
It was… interesting.
“Like father, like son, right?” Ranen’s gentle tease brings me back to the present, to what I wanted to propose to begin with.
“Right. Listen…” I take a breath and step closer to him, then look over my shoulder at the room I’ve been sleeping in. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
His eyes instantly widen, and I see it the second his guard comes up. Ranen’s gaze trails with mine to the open door behind us, and I hate the small, worried frown that flicks across his lips. “What’s that?”
If I were someone else, I might have tried to figure out how to broach the subject gently. Since I wasn’t…
“I know you’re worried about streaming again, and I wanted to know if I could help with that.”
His eyes widen, and I wonder for a moment if he can see straight through me—if he knows what Iwantto say, which is that I’ll personally dismember the man who hurt him and makehim decorations for his apartment with his bones if that will make him feel better. Then a blush spreads across his face, and I realize that’snotwhat he’s thinking at all.
“I-I mean… I haven’t… you don’t have to—”
I interject before he can blush himself into a complete frenzy. “I can watch and make sure no one hurts you. I can be there to make you feel safe. Not…there.” I put emphasis on the word, though images of fucking him on camera for the world to see dance through my head at the mention, and I don’t hate the idea at all. “In the hall. Where you can see me. So you know you aren’t alone.”
That’s the best I can do, given how my bluntness seems to have backfired. Someone else probably would have been more sensitive bringing the topic up, might have figured out a way to broach the subject so he understood what direction they were coming from before they spoke.
But I’m fascinated by the way the blush on his cheeks deepens when he looks up at me, the way he doesn’t back away when I take a step closer to him.
“You’d watch me?” His voice sounds so small.
“If that would make you feel safer, yeah. Look.” I risk it and stretch my fingers out. I want to touch him—all I’ve wanted todois touch him, and I’mtiredof trying to resist. “I can’t get rid of the man who hurt youyet.” I put more emphasis on the word than I should, and I know that“get rid of”is the only way I can be ominous about exactly how I intend to do it. “But I can make sure you can get back to doing what you love. You deserve to keep living your life, Ranen. Some asshole thinking he can hurt you doesn’t have to change that.”
