Page 77 of I Saw Her First
“Why?” I press. Surely she must have known that if Jess came back into my life, it would make things nearly impossible for us. As grateful as I am to have my son back, a tiny part of me wishes things could have stayed as they were. That she and I could be happy in our little bubble without worrying about anything or anyone else.
I hate myself for being so damn selfish.
“Because…” She gives me a strange look. “Because he’s your son. Because I know you want him in your life.”
I heave out a breath, raking my hand through my hair. “And what about us?”
“Well…” She shifts her weight. “Look, I don’t want things to end. I feel like we’re just starting something… something big. But if being with me means you lose your son, that’s too high a price to pay. If I have to give you up so you can have him in your life… that’s more important.”
There it is. The thing I’d suspected ever since Jess mentioned his conversation with her this morning, but wouldn’t let myself acknowledge. She put my relationship with Jess above my relationship with her. She was prepared to sacrifice what we have, even though she doesn’t want that any more than I do.
She cares about me that much.
And suddenly, I am irrationally angry.
“This is so fucking unfair,” I growl. I spent three years grieving the loss of my beautiful wife, convinced I’d never meet another woman I could feel that way about again. Then, by some mercy of God, I was lucky enough to do just that, only to have her snatched away.
Again.
I sink onto the sofa, letting my head fall into my hands. How have I ended up here? Why is this so fucking complicated? I don’t want to lose Daisy. I want the complete opposite.
“It’s okay,” she says quietly. “I know it’s a difficult situation. I’ll… I’ll go.” She steps past me to grab her bag off the coffee table, but I reach out and tug her onto my lap, heat pressing at the back of my eyes.
“No, you won’t. I should be able to have the woman I’m crazy aboutandmy son. I shouldn’t have to choose.”Crazy aboutis an understatement. Just thinking about what Daisy did for me, fuck…
I can’t deny it anymore. I’m in love with her.
And that thought terrifies me more than losing my son.
Shit, Pauline was right. Losing Lydia was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I can’t lose another woman I love.
“Wes—”
I capture her mouth with mine, plunging my hands into her hair. She doesn’t hesitate, swinging her leg over my lap so she straddles me. Her hands find my face, thumbs stroking my cheek as her tongue laps at mine, her hips rocking on my stiffening cock.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I rasp, untangling one hand from her mane to slide it up her thigh. I can feel the heat pouring out of her, and my other hand tightens in her hair, making her whimper.
“Are you sure? What about Jess? How will we—”
“I don’t want to think about that now.” I don’t want to think about Jess, about my feelings for Daisy, about this mess we’re in. I don’t want to think about anything other than burying myself inside her.
But I’m also painfully aware that if I make love to her now, I will no doubt blurt out my feelings, and after everything today, that doesn’t feel like the right thing to do.
So when Daisy gives me a dirty grin and says, “Do you want me to distract you?” I can’t help but nod.
“Yes. Take your panties off.”
Heat flares in her eyes and she climbs from my lap, reaching under her dress to wriggle her underwear down her legs. My cock flexes at the sight, at the way she steps out of the pink lace, looking at me expectantly, awaiting my next words.
“What else do you want?”
She loves me bossing her around when it comes to sex. At first I thought it was because she was inexperienced and wanted instructions, but I see now it’s a kink. She gets so turned on when I take charge, and honestly, I’m all too happy to oblige. I didn’t realize I was into that, but the way this woman responds to my commands makes me harder than steel.
“I want you to ride my face.”
Her breath stutters. “Really?”
“Fuck yes. Get over here.”
