Page 72 of Gold Rush
Fuckthat.
“I can’t do this.” I bristle, stepping forward. “Let me go. I’m leaving — I don’t know — I can’tbehere.”
Theo blocks the door.
“Call me a fucking asshole, scream at me until you can’t speak, but don’t youdarewalk out, June. Not when you were crying, not inmygoddamn sweatshirt, undermycare.”
“So you get to run from me, but I can’t?” I snap at him. “You get to berate me and yell at me? You get to tell me I’m just looking for a rich pack, that I’m not welcome here? But I’m supposed toacceptit? Boo fucking hoo, Theo, so Arin will yell at you if I leave — guess what? Heleft me. And I was too stubborn to admit that I needed him — that I needed allthreeof them. Instead, they just left me withyouand I don’t know what’s worse — that they didn’t stay or that Istillwant you, despite everything.”
His face breaks, and my chest smarts at his expression. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” I whisper the words, my voice shaking. “And that’s not an apology. Youhurtme, Theo. Maybe I wouldn’t be trying to bolt from you if I didn’t feel like you hated my very existence.”
The normally calming, soft scent of him reaches me and it’s tinged with stress, like muddy water. It makes me want to go to him, to comfort him, and I fight it with every ounce of my being. He doesn’t get that from me.
“You’re right.” His eyes lock on mine. “I’m sorry for the things I said.” His foot moves, and he stops short, looking distressed at the door frame, like it’s what is keeping him fromentering the nest. “You deserve an apology, atrueone. It’s not an excuse, but I think I need to realize that my…wantto be around you wasn’t something that was wrong or that I needed to avoid.” His voice softens, and I watch his jaw clench. “In pushing you away, I became exactly what I was trying to avoid. And I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for my words and my actions.”
I stare at him, my heart raising in my throat. “How am I supposed to believe you?”
“How am I supposed to believe you’re telling me the truth?”My mother’s voice echoes in my head, making bile rise in the back of my throat. “How am I supposed to know this isn’t just you wanting to sell your stories to anyone who will listen to them?”
Regardless of how hard I’ve tried. I’m just like her at the end of the day.
Theo’s expression crumbles as my bodybegsme to embrace him, to let him into this space that’s supposed to be mine. It’s missing his scent — it’s missinghim.
“Fuck” — his voice breaks — “the second I smelled you, Ineededyou, June. Every goddamn day I thought I was different from every other alpha out there, better than them. Then you walk in and make it impossible to ignore. I heard you that night — in the hallway outside of Seth and Bennett’s door — touching yourself.”
I gasp as he licks his lips, barreling forward without hesitation now that the words are pouring out.
“I could hear your wet fingers slipping as you tried to rub your desperate little clit, and I thought, ‘Good, let her her be on the fucking edge like I’ve been this entire time. Let her feel the same thing she’s made me feel. I hope she doesn’t come. I hope her legs shake so much she can’t go back to her room.’”
I balk at his words.
“And I heard themfuckingyou, too.” Theo leans closer, his eyes darkening. “I saw Seth under your thighs as you rode his face and whined. Then I went downstairs and heard Arin making you beg, making you say he fucked you better than they did. And I wasreadyto tell him that I couldn’t stay here because you’ve driven me to insanity.” He laughs, pushing a hand through his hair. “And then I got hit in the face with your sweet honey slick, dripping out while he fucked you, invading mybrain.And Iranbecause I wanted to burst in there, but I also knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t after all the shitty things I’ve said and done, and isn’t thatjustlike me, to ruin something good before I’ve even gotten it? I can’t get you out of my head, June, and I think I’ve finally decided I don’t want to.”
My heart races as I stare at him. This man, thisalpha, who unlike Bennett with his quiet assurance, or Arin with his uncanny ability to get me to let go — Theo is my option to beme.
I want to be a fuckingnightmarewith him. I want to feel too much. I want to scream. I want to tear my hair out. He makes me want to spiral and unravel in every terrible way.
“I can’t do this clean.” I stare at him, my heart in my throat. “Not like I do with the others.”
Theo stares me down. “So be messy for me.” He goes quiet for a moment and his next words eviscerate me. “Be bad. Act out. Fight me. I’m not going to run away when I see your ugly side. I showed you mine, now you show me yours.”
And just like that, my decision is made.
I take a step back, breathing out. “You can’t come into this nest until I invite you, right?”
His eyes narrow. “Arin would kill me if I did.”
I nod, then I tug on the sweatshirt, padding backwards as I stare at him. I slipped on the little satin set that Theo bought me last night before bed with Bennett and Seth. It was the only thing that felt good on my heated skin, the fabric soft and the strapsfalling off my shoulders. The little shorts are barely long enough to cover half my ass and I know he can see it as I turn around and bend over, crawling on my hands and knees to the center of the nest.
“Good.” Turning, I flop back, staring up at him in the doorway. “Because I’m about to make you watch me come while I wear your sweatshirt, in the pajamas you bought me, surrounded by the blankets you gave me for my nest.”
His fingers clench on the doorframe, making it creak as I slip my fingers into the shorts and slide them down my legs, kicking them away just to spread my thighs for him.
“And I didn’t want to wear underwear today.”
“June.”
