Page 47 of Gold Rush
I don’twantto want her — that’s the entire problem.
I’ve spent my entire life actively avoiding finding an omega that calls to the alpha part of me. My fathers, at every opportunity, have told me repeatedly it’s what’s expected — tofind an omega toserveme. I’ve tried for a decade to get my mother to talk to one of the omega rights groups that I support, to walk away from the men I’m embarrassed to share DNA with.
But she won’t do it.
I spent a good portion of time last night in the laundry room, folding clothes because it at least got my mind off the woman above my head. But then I’d had the misfortune of walking up the stairs at the wrong moment.
She’d been standing in the hallway, partially inside Bennett and Seth’s open doorway, her hand down her shorts as she gasped and played with herself.
And I’d bolted.
I, at least, made it to my room and my shower before I wrapped a hand around my own cock and stroked myself to release, painting the walls with it. It didn’t do a damn thing to help take the dripping honey and sex smell out of my brain.Fucking alpha senses. There’s no reason for them to be heightened other than to make my life a living hell.
I’m not going to survive this. And all it’s doing to me right now is leaving me confused, horny, and a little angry.
I’ve been hiding in my room like a coward all morning, trying to convince myself to venture downstairs. I’m trying not to pass their floor again. If I have to smell her scent mixed with Bennett and Seth’s, I might actually lose my tenuous grip on reality.
Some packs don’t intermingle with each other. My fathers certainly don’t touch each other with anything resembling love or kindness — though I’m not entirely sure they’re capable of it to start. My intent when I packed up with Arin was that we would continue our childhood friendship, but somewhere between Arin seeing me at my worst and me recognizing he prioritizes everyone else over himself — it shifted.
I don’t know how. I wouldn’t want to fuckmyself, I’m a goddamn wreck.
One day Arin came home after touring homes with a new pack, driving all over upstate New York for them — and he’d been distraught. After spending an entire day with a brand new pack, in a true honeymoon phase, where all the alphas couldn’t keep their hands off their male omega — it’d wrecked him. He came in distraught, feeling utterly unwanted.
And I’d felt this deep-seated urge to show him just how wanted he really was.
I’d dropped to my knees in the living room and made Arin come with my mouth before fumbling partially onto the couch with him, where he’d fisted us both in one hand and jerked himself off a second time while my dick was pressed against his.
It’s never been as frantic as that first time, but wedotake the edge off for each other.
But I’ve seen how Arin looks at June when she’s in the room. It’s the same haunted look — the same bone-deep need. It isn’t the man looking at her, it’s the alpha, with the primal urge to care, protect,love.
I blow out a breath and run my hands over my hair, dressed for the gym. I can’t stay in my room all day like a sulking teenager. Going to run off excess energy like I have been for the past week is a far better use of my time. And then when I feel exhausted, I’ll push myself even further with some weight training. It’s better to be totally spent than pathetically waiting in my room for someone to give me an ounce of attention I don’t deserve.
“Mom —”
I slow to a stop on the stairs when I hear her voice carrying up from the foyer.
“No.” The woman on the other end of the line is so shrill it makes me wince. “You need tostopignoring my calls, Juniper. I’ve said what I’ve said, and I mean it. You’re a disappointment, I never should have let you out of my sight foronesecond becauseit’s clear you can’t be trusted to make your own decisions. If you intend to stay with this pack, you arenodaughter of mine, you’re just a brainless omega whore. I’m disgusted you’re even considering it, let alone what you’ve probably already let these alphas do to you. You deserve whatever repercussions you get.”
I seered.
I’m moving before I can think it through, stomping down the stairs to see June — sweet, honey-scented June — leaning back against a wall, shrinking into herself, thick, fat tears dripping down her face. She looks up at me, and I don’t think — I snatch her phone from her hand and slam my finger down on the end call button, hanging up on her harpy of a mother before throwing the offending device onto a table.
I hope it fucking shatters.
She stares up at me, her big hazel eyes watery.
Fuck, where’s Bennett or Arin when you need them?
I can tell from her body language I’m her last pick in this damn house, but I don’t care. I step forward and then wrap my arms around her, pulling her to my chest tightly and tucking her into my arms.
She’s so soft, every inch of her yielding as I stand there, letting her sniffle and hiccup as I stare up at the ceiling. I don’t purr — I’m not even sure I’m capable of it, I’ve never had a reason to try — but I cling to her tightly, hoping my scent doessomethingto fix this.
Seth once said that my perfume is better than drugs, inherently calming. I’ve always liked that it’s fresh; the smell of the world after a nice, long rain, washing away anything else. It’s not overwhelming, or overpowering, it justis. And it’s biological luck that I got a dice roll that made me smell like rainwater over sweaty gym socks.
Slowly, her hiccuping sobs quieten.
As I stand there, stock-still with my arms around her, I wait. The moment she starts to pull back, I let go immediately, looking around the foyer, my voice sharp. “Where’s Bennett?”
