Page 21 of Gold Rush
“I think we should get out today.” Seth glances out a window at the bright street, “It’s nice for once.” His eyes find mine. “As long as you’re feeling up to it.”
My brain stops, then I nod slowly, covering my mouth. “My agent sent me an email this morning and asked if it would be possible for me to make it back to the bookstore and finish signing the stock. I ran out toward the end of it, I think it’s less than twenty copies.”
His expression is soft. “Sure, finish up your food, and we’ll head out.”
The black carpulls up in front of the bookstore after a short twenty minute drive. I still feel like I look awful, but Seth assured me twice before we even left the townhouse that I didn’t. As I climb out, I glance back at the beta, my hands going instinctively to my sweater.
“I’m worried I smell.”
He glances at me, then slides an arm around me, pulling me closer and inhaling my shoulder. I flush as he hums, “You do, but it’sreallyfucking good.”
I shove his head away half-heartedly, grumbling as I trudge toward the door, thankful I called ahead as I step into the bookstore, Seth’s laughter following me.
The owner — Penelope — looks up from behind the register and visibly jolts when her eyes connect with mine. “June!” She rushes out, wrapping her arms around me. She talks as she steers us toward the back room. “I couldn’t believe it when my booksellers told me what happened at the signing, and then you were on theTV. James is barely twenty and when I hired him he wasn’t even an alpha yet, but he said he knew immediately and had to clear everyone out.”
I flinch, giving her a sheepish look as I glance at the small stack of books, embarrassment wrapping itself around me. I should have held it together and finished the signing — all these people werewaitingto meet me and I ruined it. I ruined their experience.
Seth’s hand barely brushes my back, lingering as Penelope quietens and glances between us, quickly excusing herself and slipping out of the office.
As I take a seat and pull the books closer, picking up the signing pen, my heart clenches. I let so many people down and caused so many issues, she probably lost sales, I probably lost readers —
“How mad at me would you be if I bought all your books and read them?”
Seth’s voice drags me out of my head. He flips open the cover ofThe Pack and I, fluttering through the first few pages and flashing me a smile, his eyes twinkling.
“I wouldn’t be mad.” I look down at the books, opening the first one and signing my name quickly. “Just mortified.” Pushing it to the side, I take the next one. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful for everything but…” I pull the pen back after signing the second book, afraid to leave an ink blot as my mind spins.
He puts the book down as my words die in my throat.
Seth’s face falls slightly, holding his hands out in front of himself in a pleading gesture. “I know I don’t think shit through. Bennett can attest to that — but what Ididwas see you that night in the elevator and think, ‘Wow, thiswoman.’”His voice sounds wonderstruck as he stands on the other side of the table. “And I kicked myself for not talking to you more than just assuring you that the stupid piece of shit elevator would start again. And then in the coffee shop — I wanted to stop you — stop the beta you were with — just so I could actuallytalkto you.”
Seth shifts around the table, swallowing as he bends down next to my chair, tilting his head to look up at me. “When I saw you on the news, I knew that I was finally getting my chance. I didn’t think, I just acted.” He reaches up, touching my hand, unconsciously making me release the death grip on the pen. “And maybe that’s insane, it all sounds like it is when I say it outloud, but you can’t sit there and tell me that there isn’t a part of you that recognizes me, a biological part that…” He shakes his head, searching my face.
My lips part, my throat tight. “I’m scared.”
His entire face crumbles, his eyes softening as his hand slides to cover mine, his tawny skin soft against the back of my hand. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t explicitly tell me you want. I’ll move every damn person out of the townhouse and leave it toyouif you want that. Every single decision is yours to make.”
I reach up with my free hand, rubbing my forehead as it aches, my chest tightening. “I refuse to table my entire life because society decided to put brakes on an entire designation. I’m not going to kick you out of your home — but I — I can’tgo— and it’s just because —”
He shushes me, taking the pen out of my hand and standing up. Seth drops it to the table and then cups my face, looking down at me seriously.
I swallow, my throat convulsing as I struggle to reconcile the man in front of me with my desire to justrun. I don’t want to deal with any of this. I don’t want to make decisions. I don’t want people telling me what I can and can’t do. I don’t want to feel this gnawing wrongness in my body every time I’m awake.
Everything is simpler when I stay home, when I’m safe and it’s quiet.
“Maybe this is easier to manage when you’re raised for the slaughter.” My voice is soft as I stare up at him, thinking of the young omegas, the ones who have families who prepare them, who tell them what to expect, who don’t spend their entire lives telling their children that designations like alpha and omega are for people meant for more in life.
“I’m nothing special.”I don’t deserve his kindness.
Seth winces. “June.”
“How would you feel if you suddenly woke up one morning as an omega?” I shoot the question at him without thinking, then pause, frowning. “Don’t answer that. I bet Bennett would just make you pancakes or something equally, stupidly, perfect.”
Seth’s lips twitch as he laughs, bending down. I freeze as he nears me, but his head swerves, lifting so that his lips press hard against my forehead, kissing me as his thumbs stroke my jaw. “So, lunch after this? You seem hangry.”
I grumble at him, but there’s no ire behind it. I can’t muster it, not when his lips are so soft against my skin and his touch eases the frantic feeling in my chest, the rabbit-heart urge to run.
He pulls back, giving me a dopey smile before he flops into the chair next to me. I glance back at the books, picking up the next one and scribbling my name as there’s a knock at the door.
