Page 48 of Just One Night Together
She reminded herself that it was easier to be alone.
Safer.
Smarter.
Haley rolled to her back and stared at the ceiling.
And she’d said Garrett’s name in her sleep. How embarrassing. Was that why Damon had left? He said he didn’t want a thing, but evidently he didn’t want just sex either.
At least not with her.
There was a familiar theme song.
Haley wasn’t going to fall asleep with her thoughts churning, so she got up and made a cup of cocoa. She remembered Natasha’s itchy chemo hat. That jumped to the top of her real life triage list, because it was something she could fix.
She needed a success.
Haley dug into her knitting bag which had a teensy bit of stash at the bottom, and pulled out the two skeins of red yarn. It was beautiful fine yarn, a blend of angora and alpaca. Haley had bought it because it was so soft, softer than she could have believed yarn could ever be.
She’d bought it on impulse, which was something she never did.
She’d bought it without a plan, which was also something she never did.
And it hadn’t been cheap.
She’d never knit it up because she didn’t want to waste it.
Or maybe she’d just been waiting for the right project.
Holding it now as she thought about Natasha, patting its incredible softness, it felt like destiny that she had this yarn in this moment. She searched on Ravelry for chemo hats and found a free pattern for the right weight of yarn. She started an audiobook on her phone, cast on, and knit with compulsive speed.
She wasn’t going to be taking credit for this gift, much less expecting any expression of gratitude from Damon. It would be her secret.
She would think about Natasha and how the hat might give her comfort. She would send up a few little prayers and maybe stitch some into the hat. She would think about healing and becoming strong.
She certainly wasn’t going to think even once about Natasha’s son.
It might have been better if she had. Instead Haley found herself thinking about Dr. Garrett Smith. She closed her eyes, still able to see his chiseled features, his amazing blue eyes. She swallowed, remembering all the nights they’d spent together.
She’d bet he was still married to the beautiful Dr. Krista Olson-Smith and that they had many adorable babies, a house as big as her apartment building, several large luxury sedans, and a vacation home in an exotic locale. Haley knit as she thought about all the perks that happy couple must share and realized she didn’t care about any of their expensive possessions.
All she had wanted was Garrett.
But he hadn’t wanted her.
And in the early hours of the morning, Haley admitted that truth still hurt.
* * *
Damon awakened,sweating, just as the grenade detonated.
It took him a moment to realize that he was at home in his own bed, and not sprawled in the dirt in Afghanistan.
The dream had been more vivid this time.
The awareness of his own powerlessness had been terrifying.
He was shaking and his heart was pounding as if he’d run halfway across the city. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, told himself he’d get through this.
