Page 44 of Just Home for the Holidays
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because. Because it’s an exercise in futility.” He stepped away from Chloe’s enticing touch with an effort. If she wanted to talk all the way through doing it again, Hunter would pass. “Because the past is gone.”
Chloe lathered her breasts, a tendril of wet hair falling over her shoulder. She peeked up at Hunter, obviously aware that he found the sight appealing. She smiled, rolling her own nipples between her fingers and thumbs, and he stared. “Because it would be taking a chance?”
“No.” Hunter shook his head, trying to keep his thoughts on the conversation so he didn’t reveal too much. “I take chances all the time.”
“You take chances on things that don’t matter,” Chloe replied. “If you’re going to challenge me to take more risks, then you should take some yourself that are important.”
“You have no idea what’s important to me and what’s not.” Hunter got out of the shower, feeling dissatisfied and irritable. He grabbed a towel.
“But I’m interested in finding out.”
“No,” he said as he dried himself off with quick gestures. “No and no. We aren’t becoming friends. We aren’t sharing secrets. We had a fake date and now it’s over.” He tossed the towel onto the rack, knowing there was only one way to stop Chloe’s interrogation. “I’ll call a cab so you can go back to your mom’s.”
“Are you throwing me out?”
“Pretty much.”
“You really are terrified of intimacy,” she said with that infuriating assurance. He’d expected her to be angry or to argue with him. Instead, he felt like a bug under a magnifying glass. She glanced up and smiled at him. “You know that refusing to tell me is only going to make me more curious.”
“And you know that we’re done.”
“Are we? Who—or what—broke your heart, Hunter?”
Hunter flung out a hand, refusing to answer. “See? There you go, trying to make more out of this. I knew it. I knew you wouldn’t be happy with one night. I knew you’d want commitment and a relationship and a plan for the future. But no, justno. Understand?”
She was watching him, her eyes bright. “Okay, that’s fair. It is my nature to plan. But why are you so determined to live in the moment?”
“Because dreams are for other people,” he confessed without meaning to do so. He marched away from her perceptive gaze then and called her a cab.
“Kind of like Christmas,” Chloe said softly from behind him when he put down his phone. She was dressed again and pulling her jacket over her shoulder. “A time of hope and happiness, and a season that you refuse to celebrate. What did you lose, Hunter? It wasn’t just Duchess, although she was part of it. Was your heart broken at Christmas?”
“It’s none of your damn business,” he said, speaking more savagely than he’d intended.
“No,” Chloe said quietly. “I get that you don’t want to share that secret.” To his surprise, she came closer, determination in her steady gaze. “But here’s the thing, Hunter, if you don’t take a chance on the important things, then you’re just stuck in the same place forever. Telling me is pretty low risk. I’m leaving on the 26th. I’m not sure I’ll be back anytime soon, and I won’t share whatever you tell me.” She smiled. “I’ll keep your secret in exchange for you keeping mine.”
Her fantasy.
Hunter swallowed. He didn’t think he could do it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to do it. He instinctively understood that letting go of his secret would change everything. His carefully-constructed barriers would come crashing down and he’d be left with nothing at all.
“You could open your heart to Christmas without surrendering any of your secrets,” she said quietly.
“No, I can’t.”
“I’d get you a ticket to the Rockettes if you wanted to come along. We wouldn’t be seated together, probably, but I’d think you’d like the eye candy.”
“Have yourself a lonely little Christmas,”he sang softly but Chloe hadn’t waited for his reply. She’d already turned and left, closing the door behind herself, leaving Hunter aching for something he knew he shouldn’t dare to want.
He felt the nightmare mustering. He knew he’d fight it, watching movies until he couldn’t keep his eyes open, and he knew he’d lose.
It was just his new normal, and confiding in Chloe wouldn’t change it one bit.
Or would it?
* * *
