Page 60 of Fractured Souls
I come from rape.
My dad is a rapist.
That thought makes me go straight for Atlas needing a release.
I swing.
He ducks.
He swings.
I don't move. I let his fist hit me. I let the pain fuel me.
I swing, I hit, I kick, I give it my all until I can't anymore and I collapse onto the mats, letting out a sob as tears track down my face. I pull at my hair. This isn’t supposed to happen! I am supposed to be focusing on revenge and not break like a weak bitch.
He doesn't comfort me; he doesn't tell me it's all okay. He just gives me the moment to get myself together. When I stand up and look at him, he smiles at me. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Harley."
Before I can hit him again like I really fucking want to, Ryan steps in. “Cool down, kid. Fifteen-minute cool down. You need it. Your body is going to be aching tomorrow.”
I stomp off, angrier than I was before. Proud? He’s fucking proud? Of what? Me being weak? Because that's all I am. Weak. Pathetic. Worthless.
After I cool down, I meet Atlas and Ryan at the front. We head to Bri’s house. Ryan follows us because we are all having dinner together. When we get back, I ignore Atlas calling for me and go upstairs to shower again.
I'm so pissed. Why does he always have to push like that? Why couldn't we just have sparred? I know that they all care, but I have to build walls and be tough inside and out to beat these demons I'm at war with.
This anger inside of me is constantly growing and almost becoming uncontrollable, even as I try to take deep breaths and calm myself down in the shower. I get out, throw on some sweats and a hoodie Bri gave me and go to walk downstairs. Before I even get halfway down, I stop at the mention of my name.
“What? Atlas, are you insane? You can't do that! That girl needs someone to help her, not push her to jump off a goddamn cliff!”
“Bri, that's not what his goal is. He's trying to help. Let's just take a breath, okay? We need to work on a plan to get her to open up and tell us about the last three years,” Linc says.
I'm sick and tired of people thinking they know what's best for me. But this all just pisses me off and I've had enough. I know without a doubt I'm going to regret this, but I can't bring myself to care.
I storm down the rest of the stairs, causing them to go quiet. When I get into the living room, Bri, Ryan, Atlas, and Linc all look over at me. I square my shoulders and bring my mask down because I refuse to shed any tears over this anymore.
“You're so desperate to know what happened to me? You want all the nasty details? You want to know how when I left the hospital three years ago after my mom died I was slapped, had my hair pulled, then shoved into a trunk and then locked away in a basement for three years? Beaten all the time, chained up so I couldn't get out of the basement unless I was let out, forced to clean up after them, not allowed to think of my mom. Not allowed to speak unless spoken to. Constantly told how worthless I was. You want to know everything? I'll tell you. But you won't like it. I don't want to relive what they did to me. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to put you through the pain of having to listen to it.” I look directly at Bri as I say that.
“You want to know how I tried to kill myself? You want to know how I tried to run away and when that failed, I thought that ending my life was my only choice left? You want to know? Huh?” I yell, my arms flailing in front of me. My voice is raspy and aches with each word I speak, a constant reminder of something they did.
Before I or anyone else can say more, a horrid memory assaults my mind, taking me back to a day when I was the weakest I’d ever been.
It's been a year. The only reason I know is because Mother came down to taunt me about it. My mom died a year ago yesterday. I've been trapped in this house, in this basement, for almost a year. All I do is clean when they tell me to and then stay in the basement as they come and beat me whenever they want.
Mother comes down holding a flogger. "It's a special day today, Harley. Lilian was murdered a year ago, so let's celebrate." She cackles as she whips the flogger through the air and it hits my skin.
I cry out, still unable to hold in the sounds of pain I make, which causes her to scream at me as she hits me harder.
"Stupid girl! I can't even come down to have fun without you ruining it! You ruin everything! Lilian knew it. She's dead because you ruin things. I have to beat you because you ruin EVERYTHING!" The lashes come faster, harder, all over my body. I try to hold in the screams, but it's too hard. I can't. I scream until my throat is raw.
Mother finally stops, and I hear her call Father downstairs. I don't move. I'm bleeding all over and my body is aching. With each breath I take, I can feel the slices on my skin move.
When Father comes down, he goes and fills the sink with water. Oh god. Oh no. Please no. He walks back and grabs me by the hair and drags me to the sink as I try to fight him. It's pointless; he's stronger and I am tiny and weak right now.
He immediately shoves my head in the water, allowing me no time to breathe. He holds it longer every time with only raising my head for seconds at a time in-between. I'm getting light-headed, but I do my best to hold on. He eventually stops and throws me to the ground. They stand over me as I cough, gag, and cry.
"You worthless piece of shit."
"This is all your fault!"
