Page 139 of Beautiful Thing
I’d reached out and squeezed her hand. But I wasn’t willing to lie and tell her that she’d done a great job raising me.
Call me a dumb optimist, but I think my mother is finally ready to own up to her shit. She’s ready to see the part she played in where her life ended up today. To be honest, it’s not the greatest place. She’s at the beginning of a divorce. She’s estranged from a daughter she doesn’t really know. Hell—she barely even knows herself outside of her identity as Colin Cipriani’s wife.
As I drive home now, I’m questioning the things I decided about myself. Why do I insist on believing that I’m unworthy of love? Why have I chosen the story that, as a single mom, it’s all over for me? Why have I chosen to continue believing that I’ll never find my special someone? I’ve already found the perfect man and he’s just waiting for me to let him take care of me.
I’m finally willing to see things differently now. I see things clearly.
Yes. I’m still afraid. My fear didn’t just magically disappear after one conversation with my mother. But the difference now is, I’m willing to fight for what I want. And what I want is a life with Archer and Sky.
I pull into the carport and carry Sky inside, desperate to talk to Archer, to figure things out once and for all. I’m disappointed to find that he isn’t home.
But I can’t stop thinking about all the things I need to say to him. I’m scared that I’ll forget it all. So when Sky is tucked into bed, I head back to the kitchen. I grab a pen and a big, old envelope to jot down my thoughts.
I sit at the table and pour my feelings out onto the piece of paper. No more hiding. No more holding back. No more offering only half of me. Because Archer Brighton deserves my all.
My heart feels light and hopeful, but my eyelids begin to feel heavy. Exhaustion washes over me. I’m literally drained after this emotional day.
I fold the envelope, slipping it into the pocket of my pajamas. Then, I head to my bedroom, hoping I can stay awake until Archer gets home.
I’m proud of myself, though. Somehow, I feel like I’ve accomplished something. I’ve poured every fragile butdetermined, vulnerable but courageous ounce of my heart into this letter to Archer.
But I know it’s worth it.I’mworth it. Because on the other side of this act of bravery is the life I’ve always wanted but never thought I deserved.
Come what may, I finally feel peace inside myself.
58
ARCHER
After the promise I made to my mother, I abandon the paint job, leaving the guys to finish up for me. It’s like someone lit a fire under me, and I’m more eager than ever to get home to Layla and figure this mess out.
Thankfully, Darius, Mason and Nolan offered to clean up our mess and lock up the place, so I could get out of there quicker. Despite my brothers being idiots, they are decent human beings every once in a while.
It’s late as I race up the mountainside to my home. The thirty-second drive has never felt longer. I might have made big promises to my mom earlier, but I have no idea how to handle this.Yet the situation feels urgent.
This time next week, Layla and Sky will begone. They’ll be moved into their new place and out of my life forever. Unless I take action. Now.
When I creep into my house, the whole place is shrouded in darkness. Everything is painfully silent. For a second, I panic, worried that maybe they're already gone.
Coming home to Layla has become the highlight of my days. Even though we spend most of the workday together, it’s notenough. We always have so much to talk about each night.Well, mostly she talks while I listen. Whether we’re working on a jigsaw puzzle together or cuddling in front of the fireplace or making each other feel good in my bed. I can’t lose her companionship. I can’t go back to the way I was living before.
I quietly hustle down the hall. I push the door and poke my head into her room…and there they are. I close my eyes, sucking in a breath of relief. I’m being ridiculous. I was just at their new house. Of course they’re still here.
But it’s late, and I see that Layla and Sky are already asleep. The child is curled up in his crib, blanket kicked off and snuggling with the old teddy bear I got him a long time ago. His thumb is poked into his mouth, making me smile. He looks so precious.
Layla is also fast asleep, lying in the middle of her bed. Even in the dark I can see that her makeup is scrubbed off and she’s got her dark hair up in a messy bun. She’s effortlessly beautiful.
My chest squeezes so tight that it’s hard to breathe. I have to keep her. I have to do whatever it takes. I have to fight for her.
Pulling the door half-closed, I slowly make my way to my bedroom. Exhaustion is settling in, so I fall into my bed and try to sleep.
But my mind won’t shut off. I toss and turn in my bed. I’m wide awake, trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to say to her. I have no tricks up my sleeve, and I’m seriously running out of time.
My mind keeps shifting in a dark direction. I bolt up in bed at my next terrifying thought.What if she leaves early? What if she wakes up and decides to move out of here tomorrow?
I can’t come home to a quiet, empty house for the rest of my life. I’ve had a taste of what it’s like to have a family, and I want more. I want it all.
I’ve got to convince Layla to be with me. I have to do something. Anything.
