Page 8 of Samhain
Together? Well, there was a reason we’d made it through four years of college, despite the ups and downs. I’d fallen in love with him instantly at Kensington, when he’d shown up at my gran’s dinner and gotten stoned with me, eating snacks until well in the morning.
I’d just made love to Ivy Washington and acted like it meant nothing when it had meant everything. I had to pretend like everything was okay. I had to put on the pretty dress and force a smile on my face and go to dinner like nothing was wrong…again.
Lex and I reveled in the joke of the charade—these maniacal villains with their violent delights that would lead to violent ends. They plotted to take over the world while we plotted to escape it forever.
Was it because he reminded me of Ivy that I became so enraptured with him? Or was I looking for a life raft to cling to? Someone to replace the steady force she’d become?
I feared the answer to all of it was simply…yes.
My feelings for Lex were always so twisted with my feelings for Ivy; it was damn near impossible to separate the two.
I thought Ivy would be pissed. I thought she’d be jealous, and if she was, she held on to it only until she met Carter. Beautiful, sweet Carter with a heart the size of a planet and a smile just as wide. I loved him, but only the way I loved any other close friend.
Perhaps, at the beginning, there had been casual flirtation, but we immediately shut that down because Ivy was taken with him from the start. If I hadn’t been so emotional both my best friend and my boyfriend, I might have paid him more mind.
He quickly fell in love with his Weeds and rekindled his friendship with Lex, and on life went.
Even though I had Lex and I loved him dearly, a small part of me died when Ivy and Carter made it official. I envied Carter for being able to crawl into her bed at night and kiss her the way I once had, to take her as often or as frequently as she deserved.
But there were moments when Ivy’s gaze caught mine from across the room and her smile widened, and I’d feel that heartbeat in my soul again, the one that pittered just for her patter. It should have confused me, but even in its infancy, this strange relationship had always been so right.
I told myself life was too short to dwell on the things I couldn’t control. I couldn’t make Ivy want me the way I wanted her. I couldn’t make the world be okay with a relationship between us. I couldn’t change the way our families saw each other.
I had to accept it and move on.
Four years had passed since then, and I had nothing to change that perception.
I had lived with it and learned to accept it…until we went to Ireland.
AGE TWENTY-TWO
LA
There’s no such thing as a pleasant goodbye, especially not with a lover.
You say you’ll call. You say you’ll visit. You swear it’s not the end. But in reality, words are only hot air and actions mean everything. Lex and Ivy could have come to California with us. They could have rebelled against their parents and postponed their law school plans, maybe held firm on their reluctance to get married.
But they didn’t.
Ivy swore to fight the good fight, and Lex swore to help her, and we all swore to love each other anyway. Swear, and swear, and swear.
“Miriam, darling,” Gran said, annoyance dripping from her tone. “I do not approve of unscheduled changes of plans.”
“Of course, Gran.” I forced a grin. “But this will be a good opportunity for me to network with charitable organizations on that side of the US.”
I know, I know.
LA? Miri, my love, what are you thinking?
The truth was, I’d been hung over and sorely dehydrated when I agreed to go with Carter. At the time, I didn’t know the secrets Lex and Ivy were hiding. I didn’t know Carter knew the secrets they were hiding. But now that everything was out in the open, I wouldn’t back down from it. Going with him seemed more important than ever.
“Hmm.” She sipped at her tea, the soft noise rattling through the speaker on the phone. “The prince of Monaco has been asking about you.”
I suppressed a groan, watching Carter fidget next to me in the limo. Was I cutting it close by calling her on the way to the airport? Certainly. But Gran didn’t need to know the sordid details.
“Oh?” Hiding my disgust took work. The prince of Monaco was twenty years older than me, and even if he made a desirable financial match, I wouldn’t be caught dead with that walking midlife crisis. No, thank you.
“I will allow this impromptu trip if you will agree to have dinner with him once you return.”
