Page 23 of Samhain
“I know,” he said. But he didn’t move.
And neither did I.
6
Carter
Of all things I’d ever done, fucking Princess Miriam in the Prince of Wales’s fancy car might have been the stupidest. I knew that going into it. Not only would our spouses disapprove, but probably most of the royal family, too. Maybe most of England.
But staring up into those big brown eyes with my breaking heart and my pounding cock, nothing in the world could have stopped me.
“We shouldn’t do this,” she said again.
“I know,” I repeated.
“Are…” She stopped. Swallowed. My gaze zeroed in on the way her throat moved. “Are we?”
I didn’t know what to say.
Yes?
No?
Maybe just the tip? Just to see if we like it?
God, my head was so messed up.
I loved Ivy. I loved Lex. I loved them so goddamn much that I couldn’t see past it.
Now they were gone. Was I filling the hole they left with the only person who could commiserate? Or was there something truly there for Miri? Did I really love her or only think I did because it made missing them easier to bear?
“Hey.” She put her hands on my jaw, cupping my face, and lifted my gaze to hers. “It’s okay. I’m conflicted, too. I love them, and I don’t know what to think about you.”
I laughed a sad noise, pretending not to feel like a cheap date.
“But I know that I cannot do this without you,” she continued, “and you cannot do this without me. Is that not love?”
Is that not love?
A different kind, maybe. Different from the one that burned in my chest for Ivy and Lex. But no less powerful or significant.
I kissed her again, and this time, we twisted so her body was laid out across the seats. Somewhere deep down inside, I envisioned Lex doing this to Ivy behind my back. I envisioned his lips on her neck, his teeth digging into the blushed X he loved to hate, and I burned with shame and guilt and envy.
Because they should be here, and they weren’t.
Because I should be there, and I wasn’t.
I needed something besides that hollow ache in my gut. I needed this connection more than I’d ever needed anything else. Take a lover, Miri had said. Find someone else. But I didn’t want anyone else.
I just wanted us.
I just wanted them, and if we couldn’t have them, then we’d have each other.
I opened the door so I could move my long legs to the ground and kiss my way down her body. Shoving my jacket off, I tossed it in the back seat and kneeled on the cement floor. My knees would hate me for it later, but I didn’t care.
Her panties came off. Then her skirt. When she was naked from the waist down, I wrapped my hands around her thighs and yanked her closer, sliding her so she sat close to the edge. I hadn’t eaten pussy since that last night together, and Miri was about to reap the benefits of my withdrawal. I ached to taste her. I yearned to lick those most secret places.
I met her honey-colored gaze and searched for any objection to this. We’d both been heartbroken about what we’d lost. I kissed up the inside of her legs while she spread herself and, when my mouth touched that familiar skin, she curled into the contact, her hands in my hair, urging me on.
