Page 63 of Stolen Vows
Of course, accepting his farcical deal put a target on mine instead. But I knew the risk when I accepted. I just didn’t give a shit back then.
Even though I’m older now, I’d do it all over again if it meant gettingher.
“Anyway, Elena’s husband is this hotshot doctor who used to work for Papà. Before I was sold to you, I went and lived with them for a few months, and I told him at some point about what I wanted to do with my future. How I wanted out of Boston and Papà’s life, so I could get an education. Try to make the world a little better.”
Scoffing to herself, she continues, “When I got my acceptance letter to Stanford, I thought it was a fake. I bombed the SATs because Mamma kept making me stay up late the night before, so I hadn’t expected anything from the schools I applied to.Really, I gave up on the idea of escaping altogether, but after calling the admissions office at Stanford, I learned the letter was real. Deep down, I think I always knew they’d bought it somehow, but at that point, I didn’t really care how I got out. Just that I was going to.”
My stomach tenses, my nerves tangling in knots.
“When I left you, I didn’t…I didn’t know how long I had before you came to drag me back home, so I didn’t question anything once I got to school. I threw myself into coursework and refused to come up for air.” A brief pause ensues, and she fists the sheets beneath her chin. “But as it turns out, there’s a different kind of pressure that comes from not earning something you really,reallywanted. The desire to eventually accomplishsomething, even if it kills you, because someone else is invested in it.”
“So? What did you accomplish,stellina?” I brush some hair back from her face.
She shakes her head. “Nothing. I almost flunked out. My sisters called to tell me Papà had passed, and even though I didn’t really feel bad about it, I wasn’t allowed to attend his funeral. They wouldn’t tell me where it was and wouldn’t let me book a flight—anytime I tried, they’d call the airline to cancel. And even though I knew they were just trying to look out for me, it took a toll on me mentally. My grades dipped; my attendance was poor. Anyone else would’ve been put on academic probation.”
My hand pauses at the crown of her skull. “But you weren’t.”
“Nope. I kept waiting for the hammer to be thrown down on my time at Stanford, but no one ever said anything. Finally, I went to my adviser, and all they said was that the academic parameters didn’t apply.” She scoffs. “I could fill in the blanks as to why. Money talks, no matter where you are in a capitalist society. Money willalwaysmean more than anything else.”
We fall silent, and I withdraw my hand, dropping it in my lap. Apprehension unspools slowly in my gut because of the despair in her voice. The hopelessness.
I fucked up big time.No way can I tell her I was the one paying the school off and threatening them when her performance suffered. Her sister may have started, but once Stella was enrolled, it became my mission to keep her there.
“Anyway, I took the job at Rampion Core right out of school because I thought it might give me that sense of accomplishment I was lacking. The freedom from my name and background—or at least my sister’s influence. I don’t know. It’s a shitty job, but if I can move up in the ranks, I think I could really make a difference in the scientific realm. Maybe I won’t cure cancer, but…maybe I’ll dosomethingon my own, you know?” She sighs, deflating. “That’s why I wanted the orchid. My boss said he’d promote me if I could get it, and now…”
She looks at me from the corner of her eyes. I open my mouth to say something—to try to explainagainthat I didn’tstealanything from her—but she cuts me off.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. Are orgasms some kind of word-vomit inducer?”
Forcing memories from my mind, I paste on a grin and slide my palm over her hip. “Should we fuck again and find out?”
She smirks, rolling so she faces away from me. “Sleep first. I think if we do it again right now, I might break in half.”
Silence blankets the room, and for several moments, I just watch the slow rise and fall of her body, assuming she’s fast asleep. When she speaks again, my heart feels like it ceases beating inside my chest.
“I just wanted you to know why I left back then. It wasn’tyou. Not really.”
Unsure of what to say to that, I simply blink my desire away and get up from the bed to discard the washcloth. In thebathroom, I spray some cold water on my face to try and get a fucking hold of myself.
All I have to do is tell her my plan—tell her what I’ve done. My own confession for her hand.
Maybe it will be enough to come clean about everything.
To tell her that what was one moment in time for her wasseven yearsfor me. It didn’t end when she escaped or when I found her not even a day later and chose not to pursue her. Whatever we started continued on all along as I spent each day watching her from afar, admiring the steps she was taking to become her own woman.
A buzzing noise draws my attention back to the bedroom. I scan the darkness for my pants, kicked off near the window, and yank my phone from the pocket. There’s a text from Frankie telling me there’s been some issue with the orchid, but they’re dealing with it, and another from an unknown number.
Unknown
Bring the whore to us, or there will be consequences.
I ignore both messages, tossing the phone back onto my clothes and walking over to the bed.
When I slide in beside her, listening to her tiny snores fill the quiet, I can’t find it in me to wake her. Instead, I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her close, silently cursing myself for being a fucking bastard.
“Penso di essere innamorata di te.”
She doesn’t stir, so I whisper it again into the stillness of the bedroom, where each word drifts into the air and disappears, leaving Stella none the wiser.
