Page 92 of His Secret Obsession
My lips twitch, and then I’m laughing. Jax throws his head back in his own laughter, his guffaw deep and throaty as his shoulders shake with it. Somehow, that only makes me laugh even harder, and I clutch my stomach. There’s a quiet splattering of chuckles throughout the rest of the crowd, everybody seeming to relax at once.
Once Jax calms down, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wallet. I watch as he marches towards Andrew, stuffing awad of cash into his hands before playfully slugging him on the shoulder. Andrew whoops and does a celebratory victory dance.
“Wonder what that was about,” I muse.
“You don’t want to know,” Paige mutters dryly.
Jax ambles back towards Maddie, slipping his arm around her waist and pulling her into his side. The song changes to something slow and sweet, and he leads her onto the makeshift dance floor. They sway together, her hands looping around his neck. The entire time, his eyes are on hers. She returns his gaze with a soft expression.
A pang of jealousy ripples through me, and I clench my jaw as I look away. Not because I miss her or still harbor any feelings towards her. She was right to say that we didn’t fit together anymore. But because I never made her look that happy, or that in love. Actually, I’ve never made anybody look at me like that.
And I think maybe it’s because I don’t deserve it.
And if Jax knew what I was keeping from him, I think those brotherly looks of warm affection he’s been sending my way would turn into contempt. I clear my throat, pulling at the neckline of my dress shirt again. I don’t want to think about that right now.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Paige’s voice is soft, concerned.
I hate it.
Peering over at her, I let my eyes trail down her body and make sure to spend extra time leering at her chest. “Not really. You wanna fuck it out with me?”
She curls her lips in derision, her eyes lighting with anger. I’m such an asshole. We were actually getting along for once. Why do I set myself up this way?
“Wrong equipment, buddy,” she snaps. “I don’t swing that way.”
My eyebrows arch, watching as she walks away. I’m not all surprised when she glares at me over her shoulder one last time.
“So, is that a no on the fucking then?” I call. I laugh when she flips me the bird and strides away.
Still, I do feel a smidge of guilt.
I have been doing better, being more conscious of my words and actions. But watching my brother and ex-girlfriend act lovey-dovey brings out the worst in me.
“Hey man, what’s up!” A large hand slaps me over my shoulder, and I look up from my drink into Caleb’s grinning face. I grin back, genuine happily to see my best friend as I return his shoulder slap.
“Hey! Jax said he invited you, but I wasn’t sure if you would be able to make it or not,” I greet him.
He shrugs, running a hand through his dark brown hair. It’s trimmed on the sides but thicker on top, with a large lock that flops over onto his forehead. He’s wearing a sharp-looking, navy polo tucked into black jeans with dress shoes.
“I heard this party was the place to be this weekend.”
I nod, taking another sip of my drink as my eyes roam over the crowd in front of us. In the distance, june bugs chirp a symphony.
“So, how’s it goin’?” Even though I see him almost every week, he always asks me this question. That’s just how he is, always checking in with people and finding minute ways to show that he cares. It’s a casual question without being overly nosy, and I appreciate it.
“I think I’m going back to school,” I admit. He’s the first person I’ve told. It feels weird to even say it. I was never a serious student, my grades barely scraping by before I had to drop out. I don’t like to think about that time though. I know Maddison and Jax think I dropped out to party and that I didn’t care about school anymore. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but that’s not their fault because I’ve let them think that.
The alternative is telling them what really happened.
Although part of me wishes somebody would see the truth. That I’m not the irresponsible, immature party-loving dude everyone thinks I am.
“Really! Dude, that’s awesome!” Caleb’s smile is encouraging, and he looks like he’s going to follow up his statement with a question. As I open my mouth to tell him how I want to finish the degree I started, something snags his attention. He waves at somebody across the crowd, beckoning them to come over.
“Hey, looks like my dad made it. I want you to meet him.” In all the years I’ve known Caleb, I’ve never met his dad. I know very little about him, other than the fact that he owns a graphic design company. Caleb has mentioned he wishes his dad would slow down, take more time away from his desk and the gym, but I know he looks up to him.
I can’t help but wonder what that’s like, having a living parent that you get along with. Admire even.
“Hey Dad, this is Luke.”
