Page 83 of A Devious Arrangement
The paused video is of a familiar house decorated for a little girl’s birthday. In the bottom right-hand corner, the image of my mom watching me steal a cupcake is frozen in place.
“How did you get this?”
“Turns out your house was equipped with several security cameras at the time. I edited the video so it’ll end before the actual fall, but there’s something I think you should see for yourself.”
My throat grows dry, and I swallow hard as my heart constricts. There’s a warmth to my mother’s smile that I haven’t felt since that day. I still, glancing at Bash, who’s looking at me with concern. Maybe that’s not true anymore.
I think back to all the smirks and grins he’s given me, and some of the ache eases from my chest. I didn’t realize he’d been slowly filling that void, stitching the deep tear within me and helping it heal.
Bash stands behind me on the sofa and wraps his arms around my shoulders, whispering in my ear, “I’ve got you, Stasia.”
With his reassurance, I gesture to Xander to hit Play, unsure if I can speak. A mix of pain and loneliness fills my chest as I watch my mother call out to me. It’s hard to breathe as my ribs compress against my pounding heart. I’m ready to call this off when Bash draws slow, soothing circles with his thumb on the nape of my neck, a silent reassurance that I’m not alone.
Focusing on the screen, I entwine our fingers and grip his hand. I’m positive it hurts, but he doesn’t say a word, just continuing the circles with his other hand.
My mother fixes my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear, then straightens my tiara. Her love is palpable even now. My lungs still when the balloon unravels, and I want to cry out when she starts to climb onto the counter. If I’d just told her it didn’t matter, none of this would have happened. I’d still have her inmy life. Tears burn my eyes, and my vision blurs, but I don’t look away.
My younger self turns toward the opposite room, disappearing out of frame. My pulse is racing in my ears as the scene continues.
“Turn it off.” My voice is a quiet plea.
“Just a little longer. I promise it’s important,” Bash murmurs in my ears, squeezing my hand.
I nod silently, body trembling as the scene unfolds. My mother’s on her tiptoes, reaching high into the air, fingers brushing the red ribbon. I’m so focused on her I don’t see the man entering the kitchen until he’s inches away from her. I want to scream for her to watch out, even though I know it’s futile, but my throat’s constricted.
My mother doesn’t notice the stranger reaching out until he’s gripped her ankle.
“Thank you for making this easy on me.” His cold, bored tone makes me nauseous. This is nothing to him when it was everything to me.
My mother’s blue eyes, which look so much like mine, are wide with terror as he yanks her feet from beneath her, a scream escaping her lips.
The screen goes black, and I’m frozen, arm reaching out to her, sobbing cries escaping my lips. I shake my head back and forth. What just happened? That’s not what happened? She slipped.
It’s as if my brain’s working through tar as it tries to click the pieces together. It wasn’t an accident.Someone killed my mother.
Confusion turns to a searing rage, and my body trembles with the pent-up emotion. I’m standing before I realize it, ready to throw something. My hands are clenched at my side, the overwhelming desire to break something taking over.Helplessness that I can’t change the past singes my veins, creating an ever-growing pressure, bubbling, on the verge of boiling over and exploding.
Suddenly, Bash’s gray eyes are in front of me, brows pulled together with concern. My fists pound into his chest over and over, but he doesn’t move, taking every ounce of my frustration. It’s only when my shoulders sag that he pulls me into him, trapping my arms between us.
“I’m going to kill whoever did this,” I grit through my teeth.
“Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll help you.” He murmurs promises in my ears of death and murder, and nothing has ever sounded sweeter.
With every passing second, the red haze clears and is replaced with the uneasy feeling of self-consciousness. I completely lost control of myself, and if it wasn’t for Bash, I’m not sure how long it would have lasted. My fingers splay over his chest. I’m sure if I lift his shirt, there will be bruises from where I hit him. That’s the first time in my life I’ve felt the need to retaliate so badly I’m willing to do anything.
“What are you thinking about, Princess?” Bash asks, gently guiding my chin up.
I keep my gaze cast down, unable to see him look at me differently. I may have never been perfect, but at least I wasn’t some kind of bloodlust psycho. “I…I don’t know what came over me… I’m sorry.”
His laugh vibrates against me and he kisses the top of my head. “Don’t be. You look hot when you’re vicious.”
“There’s more you need to know,” Xander cuts in, and I startle, having forgotten he was there. I keep getting so lost in Bash the world around me disappears.
“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I can take any more,” I say as the adrenaline I was experiencing a second ago fades.
Bash releases me and gives me an encouraging smile.
Using his strength, I say to Xander, “Alright. What is it?”
