“Just a few final touches.” Iris starts on the jewelry. A pearl necklace with matching earrings. Bracelets of various shades of blue to add a pop of color. And then, finally, a tiara made from coral and shells. She places it on my head and swims back.
The woman in the mirrors staring back at me is not the same woman who showed up to Mescos broken and scared. She’s not full of bruises with sadness in her eyes. No, this woman has faced hardships but survived. A newfound determination shines in her eyes. The need to live that did not previously exist burns in her. For the first time in my life, I feel powerful.
I feel like a queen.
“You look beautiful, my queen,” Iris says from behind me. I see her smile in the mirror, looking over my dress. “It’s time. Let’s go marry your king.”
I hearthe crowd before I can see them. A cacophony of voices vibrates down the hall. My pounding heart thrums in my chest, louder than all the voices. The too-tight bodice squeezes me uncomfortably, making it hard to breathe. Iris holds my hand, leading me down the hallway lined with guards. Delmare swims behind us a respectable distance. Iris whispers sweet encouragements to me, but I canbarely hear her.
All I hear is my pounding heart. Fear threatens to overwhelm me, and the walls feel as if they are caving in on me. My body stops.
I tend to avoid crowded places because loud noise and unfamiliar people watching or touching me trigger something inside me. Years and years of insecurities and verbal lashings come back to me at once, assaulting my senses.
I’m not good enough. No one wants me. I’ll be a shitty queen. I don’t deserve love.
Over and over, the mantra plays in my head, creating my own personal hell. My body shakes, unable to hold in the panic coursing through my body.
Not now.
Not here.
“My queen!” I hear someone shout—probably Iris. Everyone is too close. Too loud. Voices ring in my ear, and I try to block them out, slapping my hands over my ears.
“Stop. I need…I need…” My voice trails off as my body begins to betray me. My chest heaves as I desperately try to catch my breath. I need quiet. I need everyone to stop touching me. I need to find my damn voice. I need…I need…I need…
“Get Allarick. Tell him it’s urgent, and the queen needs him,” a gruff, masculine voice barks. The small hands on my back pull away, and bubbles follow her as she departs.
Delmare reaches out to me, but I scream, jerking away. I don’t mean to do it, but I can’t have him touch me. My hands fly to my head, blockingmy face. I’ll feel bad about it later, but I don’t want his hands on me. They’re too big. Too rough. Just like James. James who used me as his personal punching bag as he told me everything he hated about me. All my shortcomings. All my failures.
A flurry of commotion sounds from ahead, and someone barks, “Leave us!”
I hear people scramble, swishing their tails to get away. Then I feel something slither around my arms. Something else wraps around my waist, and I’m being pulled into a hard, naked chest.
“Sweet girl,” Allarick purrs gently. He’s here. My Allarick. My safety. He’s here.
More tentacles wrap around me until they cover my body completely, cocooning me in their embrace. Protecting me from others, but also myself. “Listen to my heart. Count the beats. Match your breathing with my own. In. Out. In. Out. Try it, sweet girl.”
His voice is a security blanket, keeping the monsters at bay. I count his heartbeats.One…two…three…And try to match my breathing to his.In and out. In and out.My breathing starts to even out, and the crippling panic that immobilized me starts to fade. My body unclenches as it relaxes in Allarick’s embrace.
“There you go. Come back to me, Erin. I need you.”
I need you.
“Allarick,” I croak. “I…I don’t know what came over me.” It’s a lie. I know my triggers, and usually I can prepare for them, but my mind was so focused on the wedding that I didn’t even think about the audience and stares our wedding would bring.
“Perhaps you missed me.” He grins, almost boyishly.
I laugh but gently smack his chest, which is colored with blue markings. He quickly covers my hand with his before I can pull away. Then the teasing expression is gone, replaced by something more serious. More determined. “If you aren’t ready, we do not have to do this today.”
I think of all the people waiting outside. All the rushed planning and setting up it took to get the wedding prepared on such short notice. Not to mention our marriage can make him more powerful for when he needs to seal off the Leviathan’s prison. It isn’t as easy as saying no, I’m not ready. Because that would diminish all the hard work everyone put into this. People would leave disappointed, and rumors would fly as to why the human queen did not marry the king.
No. Postponing the wedding isn’t an option. Besides, I don’twantto postpone it. Maybe that’s crazy since my relationship with Allarick is so fresh and new, but I’ve never been a conventional girl.
“I want to marry you, Allarick.” My voice, thankfully, stays strong. “I just didn’t anticipate what all the commotion would do to me. I think I just needed to feel you wrapped around me.” I tilt my head back to smile.
Allarick’s stare bores into me with its intensity. It’s so raw and full of something akin to admiration. Maybe more. “I will always be there when you need me, Erin. You have carved your name into my heart, and I’m afraid it can’t be undone.”
Definitely more.
