Page 7 of Santa's Dark Secret
“Two and a half billion.”
I resist rolling my eyes. “Why don’t you take the evening off? Make some hot cocoa and chill by the fireplace with Mom. Maybe try to remember that you’re retired, and while I may be the black sheep of the family, you handed me the keys to the castle because you knew I was ready.”
Dad lets out a heavy sigh. “I suppose you’re right.”
“I know I am.”
“Fine, I’ll go spend the evening with your mother.” He gives me a tight smile and claps me on my shoulder before turning and waddling away, leaving me to focus on the vault.
As I move to step over the threshold, my father’s booming tone rings out again. “Oh, Nicholas?”
Stopping in the middle of the doorway, I turn back to meet my father’s dark gaze. “Try to remember to enjoy yourself.”
A fond smile stretches across my lips. “I will, pops,” I murmur, always having hated this sentimental shit. “I’ll check in with you in the morning. Tell you all about it.”
“Be sure that you do,” he says, and with that, he finally turns away to hopefully take his ass home.
With his stark warning still flashing in my mind, I step over the threshold of the vault and hit a few buttons on the other side to close the door behind me. I don’t know what it is about checking the list that feels so personal, but every time I do, I require absolute silence and concentration. There’s nothing I hate more than being disturbed in here, and knowing time is running out before I’m due to leave, I don’t want a single interruption.
I give myself an hour, going over every single name and making sure I have them committed to memory. After all, once I take off, there’s no way for me to double back and check if I forget. I’ve got one shot to get it right, and I’m not the type of man to fuck things up.
Once I’m sure I have the nice and naughty lists fully memorized, I make my way over to the side of the vault to the massive floor-to-ceiling windows that overlook the workshop below. I’ve grown up here, and yet the sheer size of this place still blows my mind. There’s always a constant flood of helpers rushing around down there, but on Christmas Eve, it’s pure madness.
The last of the presents are being loaded into the shoot that takes them directly to my sack, and the very moment the last present arrives, the sack will be loaded onto the sleigh.
I give myself a minute to take it all in, making sure I’m truly prepared for the night ahead, and before I know it, I’m making my way outside.
People stop me in the hallways to wish me luck for my big night. If only they knew I was more excited about fucking Mila into oblivion rather than performing my saintly duties. But I suppose that’s something I should keep to myself.
Heading out into the chilly December night, I find my reindeer already harnessed and ready to go, lined up perfectly. Making my way toward them, I grab a bucket and fill it with water before making my way down the line, offering them each one last drink before we go.
They don’t really need it. Many homes will have carrots and water left out for them, and to be honest, by the time we return home, every single one of them will have a stomach ache. But that’s their own fault for eating so many damn carrots. I swear, these fuckers don’t know when to stop. Just because something is put in front of your face, doesn’t mean you need to eat it.
Except pussy. More specifically Mila’s. If that’s in front of my face, I can guarantee it will be eaten. No doubt about it. Perhaps the reindeer need a little more leniency. I suppose I understand their carrot addiction.
With the list thoroughly checked and the reindeer ready to go, I make my way over to my sleigh, climbing in and getting ready for the trip ahead.
“Ahem.” A throat clears beside me, and I glance to my left to see Frederick standing in the snow, my Santa hat clutched in his hand. “Forgetting something?”
“No, I made a point not to bring that with me.”
He gives me a blank stare.
“What more do you want from me? I’m already wearing the red pants, the suspenders, and the fucking jacket. Do I really have to wear the hat as well?”
“Santa isn’t Santa without the hat,” he tells me. “But you know I don’t have to remind you that any piece of Santa’s suit must be returned to head office, and between you and me, your father will be checking in during the night, and if he finds you left without the hat—”
“Fuck.” I snatch the goddamn hat out of his hand and throw it into the bottom of the sleigh. “Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” he chimes before waving his hand toward the big, wide world. “Have at it, Santa. Go make some wild Christmas wishes come true.”
I grin as I take the reins. “That’s exactly what I intend to do.”
3
MILA
Reaching up onto my tippy toes, I hang the final ornament on my Christmas tree. I know it’s a bit late to be doing this shit considering it’s already Christmas Eve. I should have had it done weeks ago, but there’s no time quite like the present. Besides, if my mystery Christmas visitor is really coming tonight, then I can’t risk disappointing him.
