Page 41 of Reckless Sinner
“No.” I shook my head again. “There it is, that—that double speak, that—the subtext, I hear it now, I hear what you’re saying—you’re saying that you should be disappointed in me, and it’s because you’re—you’resucha good parent that you’rechoosingnot to be.”
I drew myself up. “And I—I’m worth more than just how supportive I can be to you. You’ve never cared about—about anything else, have you? How—how many ways have you s-sabotaged me over the years because you didn’t want me being anything except your dutiful little shadow?”
My words were stumbling and I could feel my teeth begin to chatter from my nerves, and I did my best to swallow them down.
Dad took another couple of steps towards me. Now he loomed over me, and I found myself shrinking back, like a mouse in front of a snake.
“He put this insolence into you, didn’t he?” he said softly. “Dante.” His gaze roamed over my face. “He did this to you. Put these stupid ideas inside of your head.”
He shook his head and smiled—but now I could see the disdain lurking in the edges of it, the patronizing undertone. “Delaney. I know the man can be charming. But…”
“He wasn’tcharming,” I spat. Somehow, in defending Dante, I found courage that I didn’t have when it came to defending myself. “He was concerned! He’s worried about me. He was angry that I—that I say these bad things about myself and think so badly of myself. And it’s because of you! Dante is a good man and I’m not going to throw him under the bus just because of who he happens to have as relatives.”
“The fact that you believe him, that you can’t even see that he’s manipulating you… tricking you…”
“The only person who’s been tricking me is you,” I snapped. “And you’ve been doing it all my life.”
I hadn’t planned on this part to happen. I just wanted to tell him I wouldn’t be his spy, his man on the inside. I’d thought that my father would agree to that. I thought he loved me.
Now I didn’t know.
A look crossed my father’s face that I had only before seen in glimpses—and never directed at me. Those looks were for his enemies in the courtroom. Or for when he was talking about people like the Russos. They weren’t for his daughter. They weren’t for me.
Until now.
Faster than I thought he could move, my father whipped his hand out and grabbed onto a handful of my hair. I cried out as I was yanked, hard, and he began to drag me out of the room.
Tears sprung into my eyes from the pain. I tried to tug myself free, but my father’s grip was like iron.
“Let me go!” I yelled. I kicked hard with my heels and tried to pry his hand off but it was no good. “Let me go!”
This was nothing like when Dante was rough with me. I felt elated, strong, and safe. I felt like I was being good with every bit of rough treatment I could take, like I was becoming more than delicate disappointing Delaney. Here—I felt terrified. Helpless. In pain.
Dad shook me a little, his grip yanking painfully at my hair. “You’re going to do as you’re told, Delaney.” His voice was still soft, which made it all worse. “You’re going to remember your place. I will not be derailed when I’m so close to my goal. You’re the key, Delaney. Your entire life you’ve been waiting for this moment. I’ve been molding you for something like this.”
He dragged me upstairs, still monologuing. There was a hysterical part of me that thought this was ridiculous and dramatic, but the rest of me was too busy in pain and trying to get away.
“Let me go.” My voice was softer this time.
“Who else would be better at pleasing a man? At serving a man? At being sophisticated and demure, at observing far more than she lets on? You were designed for this, Delaney. It’s truly all that you’re good for.”
We reached my room. My father shook his head. “I should’ve started you on this sooner. If you had known what you were doing when you were younger… but no matter.”
“Wh-what does that mean?” My eyes were filled with tears. I felt so stupid, so weak.
“Itmeans—” My father’s voice went sharp as a blade, his eyes blazing. “—that did it never occur to you to wonder why ever other man I allowed you to ever-so-briefly date was in some way an opponent of mine? Or connected to one? Every day you would trot home and fill me in with your chatter, all that information you never even realized you retained. My God, you really are such a stupid little girl.”
He opened my bedroom door and flung me in like I was a discarded toy. My knees throbbed as I landed hard on the floor, but when I tried to get up—blinding pain met my face as my father backhanded me, hard.
I went sprawling, tears sliding down my face, my entire head throbbing with pain by now. I had long known that my father was a hard man, a harder man than he liked to portray, and that his desires were fueled more by ambition and a need for power than anything actually altruistic.
But I had never thought—it was still unbelievable—that he would treat me so cruelly.
Dad advanced on me and I shrank back instinctively. “D-don’t.”
“I hate that you made me do this, Delaney, really I do.” My father sighed, then smiled. “I hope that you’ve learned your lesson from this. I’ve spent too long on you,trainingyou, and everything else, for it all to be wasted. Calm yourself down, and then we’ll get you back to Dante and you can get me the information I need. Understand?”
I trembled. Part of me wanted to leap at him, to scratch his eyes out, to rage and throw things. But the other part of me, the part that was so used to obeying my father, told me to just do as I was told. To make him happy. That was the only thing I was good at—making my father happy.
