Nihhal must have realized his mistake because he immediately gentled his tone. “You didn’t answer my question, Lannahi. Why are you pushing me away if you want me?Tell me.”
Lannahi didn’t feel like continuing this conversation, but the words escaped her mouth anyway. “I don’t want a casual relationship.”
Nihhal was now as surprised as she had been before, but soon his lips curved into a smile. “So, you want a commitment. You don’t show romanticism offstage, but I should have guessed that a singer would dream of love.”
Heat crept up her cheeks. She knew she’d appear naïve to him, but his amusement hurt her anyway.
“I don’t expect a marriage vow,” she replied, her voice sounding defensive to her own ears. She didn’t quite understand why she was saying it, but she couldn’t help herself. “Only a promise of fidelity.”
Nihhal sighed and took a step toward her. “Lannahi, I could marry you here and now, but you know very well that no one would recognize the marriage.”
She was twenty-four years old. No one took seriously the vows made at such a young age.
Nihhal raised his hand and stroked her cheek. “I waited four years for you to look at me kindly. Is that not enough proof that you are someone special to me?”
Before she could respond, he slipped his fingers into her hair and leaned in, brushing his lips against hers.
Lannahi’s pulse accelerated. Nihhal was beautiful, and his touch made her skin tingle. She wanted him…
…and felt uneasy at the same time. She was used to evasions, euphemisms, and understatements, but she didn’t like that Nihhal was using them now. She may have been naïve hoping for undying love, but a promise of fidelity wasn’t something unusual. Not everyone liked to share… though Nihhal seemed not to mind. But why didn’t he want to admit it? Fae were wary of promises, but why did he try to delude her instead of saying outright that he couldn’t offer her more?
Lannahi felt disappointment, but it was its weight that surprised her. She usually controlled her true emotions and avoided showing weakness in front of others, but now she felt exposed and vulnerable.
I fell in love with him, she thought.
“You can trust me, Lannahi,” Nihhal murmured between kisses. “I think about you every day.Relaxand I show you some of my thoughts.”
Despite her disappointment, Lannahi parted her lips, and Nihhal slipped his tongue between them and kissed her, slowly but not without greed. He moved one hand to the nape of her neck and began stroking her back with the other. Lannahi’s body relaxed, but in her head swirled a thought,I fell in love, but he did not.
Despite the warm air and the proximity of a masculine body, Lannahi felt a chill. By entering into a relationship with someone who didn’t reciprocate her feelings, she risked being manipulated. Nihhal’s sweet words were already stirring a conflict inside her. She wanted to dismiss the thought that another woman would soon be in his arms. She wanted to think that he chose her over others. She wanted to trust him.
She wanted to believe that he would never abuse his power over her.
Why are you pushing me away if you want me? Tell me.
You can trust me…
Relax…
Lannahi forced her languid body to obey and pushed Nihhal away. “You’ve enchanted me,” she said, looking at him in disbelief.
Nihhal wanted to deny it. She saw it with horrifying clarity.
But a lie was a domain of cowards.
“You seemed tense,” he said gently. “I just wanted you to relax.”
Lannahi tightened her fingers on the fabric of her dress. In Sarkal’s kingdom enchanting people was forbidden unless used during combat. Nihhal broke the law.
“This is not an excuse,” she said, trying to control her voice.
She was in a situation her mother had warned her about. She stood in the way of a powerful fae who used others for his own purposes.
“But it’s true,” he replied.
Although everything in her screamed for her to close her eyes and plug her ears, Lannahi looked at Nihhal, unsure of what to think of his calm tone. He didn’t seem concerned that he might be dragged before the Arbiters.
As if he didn’t feel the need to even consider the possibility.
