Page 143 of Slap Shot
He pulls out of me, and I squeeze my thighs together. There’s a spot of blood on the condom, but he doesn’t say anything aboutit. He walks to my bathroom, and when he returns, he’s holding a washcloth.
“Let me clean you up,” he says.
I drop my feet to the sheets, and he climbs back onto the bed. “I’m sorry about the mess.”
“Don’t be.” He drags the rag down the inside of my legs and up my thighs. It’s painstakingly slow, incredibly sweet, and this is a new level of care I’m experiencing. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“I would’ve said something if you did. I like orgasms, but I like my organs to stay in their proper places more.”
“You’re funny.” He sets the clean side of the warm cloth on my stomach, and I sigh. “And beautiful.”
“What do we do now?” I prop up on an elbow, and he lies on his back next to me. “What does Hudson Hayes do after he fucks a woman?”
“I do a lot of things.”
“Oh?” I lift an eyebrow, curious. “I’m new to the dating scene. Fill me in on your moves and what I should look for. I’m a recovering cynic when it comes to relationships and feelings. Teach me how to be a romantic.”
“I’d ask if I could hold you.” Hudson moves up to the pillows and opens up his arms. I smile and curl up next to him with my head on his chest. His heart is still beating fast, and I wonder if it’s because of me. “We’d stay like this for a while, and then I’d let you use the bathroom before we showered. Privacy, you know? Or a chance to escape out the window if you wanted to run.”
“I don’t want to run anywhere.” I lace our fingers together and hold his hand against my breastbone. “Is it hard to be a romantic? To trust people and give over your heart so easily?”
“It’s the worst thing in the world.” Hudson kisses the top of my head. “But it’s worth it when you find someone you enjoy spending time with. Who treats you with respect and loves you like you love them.”
“Have you done that a lot? Loved other people?”
“A few, yeah.”
“Have you ever thought about proposing to anyone you’ve dated?”
“Hm. No. I’ve envisioned a long-term future with some of the women I’ve been with, but something always came up that showed us we weren’t compatible. I hope I will one day, though. A wedding would be nice. What about you?” He tips my chin so I can look at him. He doesn’t seem bothered by my string of post-sex questioning. “Would you ever get married again?”
“No. But that’s not to say I wouldn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship with the same person for the rest of my life. Being married doesn’t prevent you from heartbreak. If anything, it makes it so much messier when something goes wrong.”
“That’s fair.” His eyes close, and he’s quiet for a minute. I trace over the lines of his face, and he smiles when I cup his cheek. “And you don’t want any more children, right?”
“Right. And it’s not because Lucy is deaf. It’s because being a parent is so hard. Doing it alone is nearly impossible. I’m happy with my life. I’m fulfilled, and what I have is more than enough. Do you want children?”
“I don’t think I do. I have the dogs. They make me happy. My friends have kids. I’m fine with being an uncle.”
Silence settles between us. I kiss the back of his hand, and nerves settle on my shoulders when I take a deep breath. “Hudson?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s going on between us isn’t just physical for me. But it’s going take me some time to… to feel safe enough to let my guard down again. I’m not sure I’ll ever let it down after what happened in my past, but I want to try. You believe in soulmates, and soulmates should be sure about each other, right? Youshould know right away that they’re your other half, and I’m not sure about anything right now. If you don’t want to wait around, I understand.”
“Hey.” He adjusts our positions so our chests touch. “There’s no label here. There’s no need to rush. We like spending time together, so we’ll keep spending time together. We can figure out the rest as we go. And if we don’t, that’s okay, too. We’re friends first and foremost.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “Thank you for understanding. You really are the nicest man I’ve ever met.”
Hudson rolls away from me. He positions himself above me and kisses my cheek, then my throat and my mouth. “And I really am going to have to fuck that word out of you,” he says.
“Well? What are you waiting for?” I challenge, and his smile is the most magnificent thing.
It gives me hope.
FORTY-TWO
HUDSON
