Page 57 of Without Pride and Prejudice
As he began, however, something stirred uneasily in my belly. Miss Bingley knowing about the supposed attachment between Anne de Bourgh and Mr. Darcy wasn’t kosher if you asked me.
Dear sir,
I have been so fortunate as to be distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honorable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, widow of Sir Lewis de Bourgh, whose bounty and beneficence has preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish, where it shall be my earnest endeavor to demean myself with grateful respect towards her Ladyship, and be ever ready to perform those rites and ceremonies which are instituted by the Church of England. To this end, dear sir, it is Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s wish that I wait upon you and your family.
I hardly heard anything that followed that telling last line. My belly swirled even more. I had no doubt that Lady Catherine was sending him to check out the situation. Seriously, what had I done? I had to try to fix it somehow—but how?
As soon as Mr. Bennet concluded, he looked over the letter at me. “What do you make of this, Lizzy?”
Why was he asking me? I tried to construe an answer based on what I knew from the book, as I hadn’t exactly paid attention to the entire letter. “Well ... it appears that this Lady Catherine de Bourgh knows of the rift between Mr. Collins’s father and you, and she believes Mr. Collins should extend an olive branch, considering the entail. But because of the potential inheritance, perhaps she seems to think, in the name of family unity, that it is best that he pick a bride from among us.” I sounded much smarter than I felt.
“Right you are, Lizzy.” Mr. Bennet beamed.
While I appreciated the compliment, I was undeserving of it, considering it was just a good guess on my part, and I had a sneaking suspicion that there was much more to the story. In the novel, Mr. Collins came of his own volition, not at the urging of Lady Catherine.
“A clergyman?” Lydia wrinkled her nose. “I would never marry a clergyman. How boring.” The girl could do with some boredom in her life—or a puppy. I would look into getting her a pet. Maybe if she had something cute and cuddly to play with, she would forget about the regiment coming into town and would never cross paths with Mr. Wickham. I had to worry about that now too.Please, please, don’t let him look like Tony.
I glanced at Mary, who had a dreamy look in her eye. Apparently, her thoughts about clergymen mirrored mine about Theo James. I’d always thought that Mary and Mr. Collins should end up together. But was I just ruining everything further? Or was I making it better? If only I could find someoneworthy of Charlotte. Ugh, look at me—I couldn’t go an hour without trying to fix something. But I was in so deep now, I wasn’t sure there was any turning back.
“No matter his reasoning, you had better order a good dinner tomorrow night, Mrs. Bennet,” Mr. Bennet directed.
Mrs. Bennet’s eyes lit up. “I will order at least three courses and invite the gentlemen at Netherfield to join us.”
Oh, no, no, no, this was the worst idea ever. Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy at dinner together was a disaster in the making. My disaster. My making.
“Mama,” Jane sounded as alarmed as I felt about that idea. “I do not know if that is wise. We do not know this Mr. Collins.” Jane, you smart, smart, woman.
“Or his benefactress,” I added. “Should we not wait until we know their designs?”
“Designs?” Mrs. Bennet laughed. “What does this Lady Catherine have to do with us? We will show this Mr. Collins what good company we keep here at Longbourn.”
My eyes pleaded with Mr. Bennet to put a stop to this nonsense, but he just shook his head. I couldn’t tell if he liked the idea or if he just didn’t wish to argue with Mrs. Bennet. Maybe some of both.
“The gentlemen may have other plans,” I whispered to Jane. Plans like Mr. Darcy never speaking to me again. If that were the case, did this place I was in cease to exist? What happened to me in that scenario? Did all rejected Elizabeths go to hell or get booted offFantasy Island?
“We can hope,” she whispered back.
That was wishful thinking. To add to the excitement, the bell rang, signaling someone was at the door.
It only took a few moments before Mrs. Hill came in and curtsied. “Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley have come to call on the elder Miss Bennets. They are waiting in the drawing room.”
Before either Jane or I could say a word, Mrs. Bennet was off to the races, likely to make a fool of herself. I really needed to ask Mr. Bennet how they met and fell in love, assuming they’d been in love. Right now, I had another love story to worry about. I hoped Mr. Darcy’s appearance this morning was a good sign—he’d said nothing the night before about calling on me. I really missed my phone and texting. It would have been nice to have a heads-up. Like,Hey, babe, I’ll pick you up in my carriage at ten sharp tomorrow morning. I’ll bring the chaperone this time. PS: Don’t forget your gloves.
With as much decorum as we could muster, Jane and I stood and hustled toward the drawing room, following Lydia and Kitty, who were madly giggling.
“I am going to ask Mr. Bingley if he has decided on a date for the ball,” Lydia bragged to Kitty.
“Please, do not,” I begged.
They paid me zero attention.
I smoothed out my baby-blue dress, praying there was nothing in my teeth, before I entered the drawing room to find Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley standing by the fireplace, being accosted bydearMama.
“You must dine with us tomorrow night. You will be our special guests.” She failed to mention they wouldn’t be the only guests.
Mr. Darcy stood sexily stoic, not saying a word. The breeches were really starting to grow on me. And that cravat was such a turn-on. But they had nothing on his gray eyes, which darted my way. In them I saw the same question from last night. I wasn’t sure what he was asking or what answer he wanted to receive, but one thing I knew: he didn’t appreciate Mrs. Bennet. I really needed to talk to her.
Mr. Bingley was as amiable as ever, smiling and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “We would be delighted to dine with you.” He gave Jane googly eyes. The man was smitten.
