Page 45 of Without Pride and Prejudice
Was this the moment of the slight? Should I move closer so I could hear it? It was my job in the story to relay it to my friends and Mrs. Bennet so she could tell Mr. Bennet and anyone else who would listen to her about her distaste for Mr. Darcy. That way, everyone would start to abhor him. At least, that’s how the story is supposed to go. Jane Austen intended it that way. This wasn’tWithout Pride and Prejudice, although I didn’t feel very proud of myself at the moment, and I held no prejudices against Mr. Darcy. He’d only behaved earlier like a man of his time would if a woman said the things I had—things that now mortified me.
Who was I to trample on greatness? Maybe Fitz was right. I had to stop trying to fix everything. The thought hurt so deeply, I felt it in my toes. I replayed every failed attempt to help someone in my head like a horror film, starting with my beautiful mom, whose life had been tragically cut short, to Macey, terrified on her horse. For once in my life, I was going to do the right thing. I would not go off script. I would finally be an Elizabeth.TheElizabeth, even.
I stood to move closer to Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy, who were talking quietly between themselves. I imagined Mr. Bingley scolding his friend for not dancing, especially when there were so many ladies without partners. Mr. Darcy was probably lamenting that Mr. Bingley was dancing with the only handsome woman in the room. Mr. Bingley would reply she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever beheld, and he would say I was very pretty. Of course, Mr. Darcy wouldn’t agree. He wouldn’t want to stand up with a woman whom other men had slighted. Except ... no one had slighted me. I’d done the slighting. But he probably didn’t know that.
Anyway, I was already feeling the sting of rejection before it even happened, even though I knew he would change his mind. Maybe it was because Fitz had just recently broken my heart.
I steeled myself and moved closer to hear the awful words,“She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.”I stood and waited and waited, but I couldn’t overhear them.
Mr. Bingley turned toward me, smiling. “Miss Bennet, it is good to see you up and well.”
Wait ... that wasn’t in the story. He was supposed to leave Mr. Darcy and dance with Jane again.
I curtsied, not knowing what else to do. “Thank you, Mr. Bingley. And may I also give thanks for rescuing me? I fear I may have said some foolish words and acted in a manner unbefitting a young lady.” That was putting it mildly, but I needed Mr. Darcy to know I wasn’t a lunatic. I mean, some might disagree on that point—you could ask theDaily Mail, but theDaily Maildidn’t exist yet.
Mr. Bingley laughed good-naturedly, but Mr. Darcy’s face was impassive and didn’t reveal a thing.
“We certainly do not fault you, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Bingley said cheerfully.
I wasn’t sure Mr. Darcy agreed. His careful study of me was unnerving, but at least he hadn’t run off.
“Please allow me to properly introduce you to Mr. Darcy,” Mr. Bingley offered.
Uh ... okay. I didn’t see this coming. I was trying to do things by the book here. Literally by the book. But how could I refuse? It would only make me look like a bigger nutjob. I was sure he would slight me after, right?
“Miss Bennet,” Mr. Bingley continued, “may I introduce you to Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Derbyshire.” He said nothing of his estate, Pemberley.
Mr. Darcy gave a proper bow. When he raised his head, he made sure to make eye contact. Oh, what contact it was. His broody gray eyes went straight through me. It was as if Fitz inhabited his body, and I wanted Mr. Darcy now more than ever.
“Mr. Darcy, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”
I curtsied perfectly. “It is an honor to meet you properly.” Truer words I had never spoken.
“The honor is mine, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Darcy replied.
Oh, baby, a shiver went through me. I don’t know what was happening, but I was here for it. Sorry, Jane Austen. I did try to stick to the book.
The ensemble started to play “La Belle Catherine,” making Mr. Bingley startle. “I must be off.” He left Mr. Darcy and me to stare awkwardly at each other.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, but I felt as if every eye in the ballroom was on us. Was it improper for us to be so close? We weren’t touching, but I was drawing his attention toward me. I turned to leave, feeling flushed and foolish.
“Miss Bennet, would you honor me with this dance?” Mr. Darcy asked.
Say what? Maybe Iwasdreaming.
“Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly.”
FITZ
“HOW IS SHE?” KINGSTON STARTLED me.
I squeezed Monroe’s hand and ran my thumb over her smooth skin as I sat in the dim hospital room, lit mostly by monitors, listening to the rhythmic beeping of machines telling me she was alive. It had been hours since she’d fallen off that damn horse, and still she hadn’t woken. “I don’t know,” my voice croaked from repeatedly begging Monroe to open her beautiful eyes.
Kingston stepped closer. “I brought you a change of clothes and some food, sir.”
The faint smell of my favorite curry dish wafted my way. “Thank you, Kingston,” was all I could offer. I felt no inclination to eat or even change out of the ridiculous costume I was wearing. I couldn’t take my eyes off Monroe, covered in medical paraphernalia. Everything from a nasal cannula to electrodes placed on her gorgeous head.
“Have the doctors given you any information?” Kingston was hesitant to ask.
