Page 76 of Trust In Me
Whiskey has his cut on, since it’s pretty much against MC rules to take it off. He’s got a tight, dark t-shirt underneath with a pair of acid-wash jeans. He looks as brooding as always. Shay, on the other hand, looks down at the floor, averting her gaze like she’s shy or afraid. I plaster a smile on my face and do my best to make them feel welcome.
“Hey, guys, come on in. We are just through here,” I point, leading them through into the living room. Mia’s already sitting on the sofa, Hallie on her knee.
“Hey, Shay, it's so lovely to see you,” Mia says, giving her a small smile before pointing to the two empty chairs. “Have a seat. Kellan will get the drinks.” She looks at me pointedly and I roll my eyes, taking in her very obvious hint.
“Of course, what can I get you both?”
Whiskey is the first to answer after they have both sat down. “Can I just get a Diet Coke, please?” he asks, and Shay asks for the same.
That’s an easy order. I run into the kitchen and grab two cans from the fridge. For a moment I briefly consider offering them a glass, but I soon push that away. Only when we have older guests do we roll out the posh stuff. I can stretch to a straw and that’s it.
Once everyone has a drink, I sit down on the sofa beside Mia, and she hands Hallie over to me. Hallie instantly reaches up and starts pulling on my hair with a giggle. I notice Shay is watching on with rapt amusement. Like my baby is the most interesting thing she’s ever witnessed. I know that feeling. I get it all the time. It’s pride knowing we created that.
For a while the silence doesn’t seem too consuming, Hallie’s giggles manage to cut through it, until Mia has clearly had enough and decides to break the ice.
“Shay, I’m so sorry I wasn’t allowed to see you in the hospital. I really did try. I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me. I know the letter you sent after I wrote to you said not to worry about it, but I do. You risked your life for me, and I can’t ever thank you enough for that.” Mia’s voice cracks at the end, emotion thick in her voice.
I’m a little taken aback. I had no idea they had been writing to each other. I thought we said no more secrets? I know what Mia will say, that she didn’t want me to worry or overthink things. After all, she isn’t the one with a history with Shayla, that’s me. Mia has every reason in the world to be friendly with her, but I don’t. I can’t turn off the worries I have or the way I feel, and I know Mia wouldn’t have ever stopped wanting to thank Shay for what she did. So, I guess, this is the best of both worlds.
“I meant what I said, Mia. It was my fault your life went to shit in the first place,” Shay says, and Mia can’t help but laugh. Both Shay and Whiskey look equal parts confused and offended, wondering why Mia would be laughing at them no doubt.
“Shayla, I can promise you, my life didn’t go to shit because of you. It was in the crapper a long time before that. Yes, you broke up Kellan and me, and it hurt us both, but we’ve talked and we’ve got past it. You genuinely thought you were protecting this little one,” Mia says, as she strokes Hallie’s unruly hair. “My father is out of my life now, but even before that, I was trying to separate myself from him.”
Shay shakes her head. “Whitlock is a dangerous man. He has contacts everywhere. We already have intelligence saying he’s trying to get guns to arm the Reapers, but sadly not on our side. A civil war will rip the Reapers in half, and hopefully the new generation will be successful. But, if your father backs the originals, like we suspect he will, that could be really dangerous for us. I don’t tell you this to cause trouble. I don’t know exactly which side he stands on, or what his true objective is, and that will always make him a danger to us all.”
I look over at Mia, and she’s looking back at me. This is something we are in agreement about. “Don’t worry about Whitlock. We have a plan. We need to make sure we know what his plan is before we deal with him. But he’s on our radar.”
“Dada! Dada!” Hallie shouts trying to grab my attention, as she indicates she wants me to put her down. I hear a gasp from Shay and as I look at her, her hands are covering her mouth, but there’s no denying the wonderment on her face.
“She can speak?” Her voice is quiet, almost choked up.
As I lower Hallie to the floor next to her box of toys, I turn to reply to Shay. “I wouldn’t say she is talking. She babbles a load of nonsense words, and she can say the word dada. So naturally I have her pegged as a little genius.”
Shay watches in amazement as Hallie shuffles around the room, crawling to each of the different toys, trying to decide which she wants to play with more. She has an annoyed look on her face because we tidied up since we had guests coming over. She clearly doesn’t like having to work to find her toys.
“She looks so grown up,” Whiskey mutters, the same look of amazement on his face too. They both can’t take their eyes off my daughter, and to say my chest swells with pride is an understatement.
“I know, I can’t believe she is one next month,” Mia replies with a smile.
“Look, Shay. I have to be honest about this. I’m glad you are here, and that you get to see how happy Hallie is, but I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the whole thing. I got used to knowing you wouldn’t be part of Hallie’s life, and to start with, of course I was pissed, but I came around to it. Hallie’s my daughter, and I’m more than happy raising her with just the help of my family, Mia included. I’m not sure if there’s a place for you in that, and I’m not saying that to hurt you, I’m just trying to be honest.” Fuck, I can’t seem to stop mumbling. I don’t want to upset anyone, but I also have to be completely honest.
Shay shakes her head, before getting up and coming to sit next to me on the sofa. She takes my hands in hers and looks me in the eye. For a second, I wonder if I should freak out. My body still remembers how much she hurt me, but then I feel Mia gently place her hand on the small of my back. It’s like she knew I’d need her support.
“Kellan, I’m sorry if this has been confusing for you, but I want to make it very clear. When I signed those papers, giving Hallie to you, I meant them. I knew it would hurt, and I knew there would be times when I wanted to be back in her life, but I made a decision and I stick by it. You and Mia are all the parents she will ever need. Being in her life like this, just being able to see that she is growing up, is more than enough. Even if we never do this again, you’ve given me more than I ever expected. Hallie’s your daughter, and I won’t ever take her from you. You have my word on that. I won’t even ask for more visits. They are a privilege, and something I won’t ever take for granted. If I get more, that's a bonus. But they won’t ever be expected, just appreciated. Does that make sense?” Her eyes are welling up with unshed tears, her voice thick with emotion. I know it hurts Shay not to be a regular fixture in Hallie's life, but I know I can’t agree to that. I can, however, promise her the occasional friendly visit.
“I understand. I’m not making any promises, and we take each visit a step at a time, but if you would like to stay in her life, as a friend, I’m sure that would be okay.”
A sob catches in Shay’s throat and she pulls me in for a hug. “I think you just made my wife very happy,” Whiskey jokes.
“I’m sure this doesn’t really need to be said, but while the Reapers are at war, you will need to stay away,” Liam says, from where he’s leaning against the living room doorframe.
I shoot him a look. So much for not interfering. Bree isn’t far behind. “Sorry, we didn’t plan on interfering, but I think it’s a good job we did. We have information that might be of use to you. The Reaper Pres has tasked Whitlock with arming them. I suspect he knows that you are planning a rebellion. He tried to get them off Desmond, who came to us. We obviously haven’t helped the Reapers. I’m sure you know my family doesn’t do business with them. I met your dad once, Shayla, and to say he’s a prick would be an understatement,” Bree jokes, and Shay simply nods her head in agreement.
“Just because we didn’t arm the Reapers, doesn’t mean someone else didn’t,” Liam adds.
“If you are determined to get rid of the current Reapers and replace them with the new generation, then maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement. Like I said, I’ve never agreed to work with the Reapers before, for obvious reasons, but I think you will bring about a new age, and it’s one I would be happy to support. You would have to recognise my leadership, the way everyone else who works for me has to, though,” Bree adds with a shrug of her shoulders.
I see Shay and Whiskey looking at each other, they remain silent, but it’s like they’re having an unspoken conversation. I can see the way she pleads with her eyes. She has always craved safety, and there’s no denying that having the Doughty family’s protection would go a long way towards her finally feeling safe.
