Page 14 of Grace
Her brows drop as she scoops another bit of ice cream from the container. “And what did he want?”
I shrug. “More effort, more attention, more… sex.”
She huffs. “Ahh, you two weren’t… you know.” She tilts her head. “Was he bad at it? So many guys are. They think they’re gods and wonder why we fake headaches.”
I sigh. “It’s not that I never wanted… well… I wasn’t in the mood… I think.” It wasn’t as if I never tried. I just wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t have the same needs as Bash did.
She grins at me. “Oh, sweetie, he just wasn’t pushing your buttons.”
I blink at her. “What?”
She shrugs. “Sometimes, it just doesn’t work. You weren’t on the same wavelength, that’s it. Some couples do it every day, and some are fine without any. Everyone has their groove.” She waves it off as if it’s nothing, but I can’t help this feeling nagging inside me, telling that there’s something wrong with me.
“And what if it’s just me?” I whisper, and she freezes.
“It’s not you, Grace.” Her voice is kind and gentle, the teasing undertone nowhere to be found. “Trust me. It’s not.”
“But what if itis?” I press.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
I swallow and try to string together the right words to explain my issues. “Nothing gets me going, I guess.”
A smile curls on her lips as her eyes narrow. “I can guess.”
My brows knit. “What?”
“That blush might have faded, but it wasn’t nothing.” She points her spoon at me as that teasing grin makes a comeback.
“No, that’s nothing,” I quickly say and take another bite of caramel fudge ice cream.
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” she says and tosses the spoon in the sink. “Perhaps try to figure it out tonight.” She waggles her brows as she steps back.
“Where are you going?”
“Out with some friends,” she says and grabs her jacket. “So, you have the apartment to yourself.” She leaves with a quick wink as I’m rooted on the spot, trying to wrap my head around what she’s trying to say.
And as the door shuts behind her, I think about lunch and what I saw on Mr. Brooks’s computer. Is that what she meant? Would I fit in this fantasy Mr. Brooks has? Do Iwantto fit in this fantasy of his?
Could I even fit him at all?an annoying part of my brain asks.
With a sigh, I close the ice cream and toss it back in the freezer. I might as well check out the porn in full, right? It’ll probably feel the same as the times Sebastian made me watch porn and urged me to try some things we saw. The idea was weird, but the execution of this… I shiver, remembering how awkward I felt. Even after watching what to do, I was so unsure what to do with myself as he was doing his… thing.
I head to my room, carefully shut the door, then slump on my bed and grab my laptop, opening it without thought since I know even the slightest thought would stop me from going through with it.
Before I do anything, I take in my room. I’ve already removed all the pictures of Bash and me. So I just have a few cacti in front of my window, some books stacked on my nightstand, a desk that’s now holding the small TV, and a dresser.
I’m comfortable, I’m in my room, and I’m allowed to check this out. It isn’t dirty, it’s… it’s natural. It’s just me doing some… research. And maybe acting on that research if it pushes my buttons the right way. Even though it probably won’t.
But it wouldn’t be so bad to finally find out what I like, right?
My fingers hover over the keyboard as I try to muster up the courage to look for the site fromhiscomputer.
It takes a few Google searches, but then I find it.‘Petite redhead gets rewarded by her boss.’
My breath is shaky as I click on the link and the video fills my screen. I don’t hesitate. I just press play. The scene starts as the woman comes off as insecure and clumsy while the man watches her with need and lust. The bad acting doesn’t distract me, and as the man praises her for her hard work, something wakes inside me.
My thighs clench as his fingers trail over hers, while he tells her how proud he is, how good she has been and that he wants to reward her.
