Page 4 of Virgin's New Flavors of Lust
And she’s right there waiting for us.
Longing for us as well.
Tempting us to do a lot more and not let her go either.
I keep wondering if maybe I’m going crazy by how much she is making me feel but another part of me doesn’t give a damn. No matter what I do, I know that this is what I need and I’m not going to let anything else come from it.
The realization that I’m going to be in love with someone and make sure that our relationship doesn’t go south. The passion and desire that drives us forward.
The ache to do everything together and never let go either.
To hope that I’m going to be able to just do this one step at a time and do it right.
I have already figured out the game and I know that either way, I might not be trusted but I’m certain that I’m not going to let go either. I’m terrified of the notion that this could get ugly.
And I don’t want it to.
I don’t want to dare dream about the past and what happened.
I want her to be the driving force of my future and I need Mikhail to understand it.
To want it as well.
Or it is not going to go the way that I need it to.
I’m almost certain that it might end up blowing up in my face if I do this one way or the other. I keep wondering if maybe this is the way that things just are but I’m trying to not think about it too much.
I know it’ll be ugly if I do.
I can’t do this.
I don’t want to.
I just know that it’s going to be something that I can’t handle. With the passion driving me forward, I keep wondering how I’m going to get him to listen to me.
“If you think about it,” I murmur, making him look up at me, “you might be hesitant about this relationship, but I can assure you that I don’t think you’ll regret meeting her. Let’s go see her.”
I know Mikhail wants to yell at me, the fury raging in his eyes as he glares at me.
I don’t quite frankly care, just trying to make him see that he is making a big mistake and that pushing her away will be the worst thing that he does. I don’t care about anything else and I’m just trying to make sure that we will be okay.
Can’t he see it?
Doesn’t he realize that this is the only way to do this right?
I don’t think that he does, or he wouldn’t be acting like this.
But when he nods his head, I know that he understands.
No backing out now.
THREE
Rory Hemmingway
Someone is knocking on my front door.
A part of me should be annoyed but I’m not. It’s like something is going to happen that I’m not prepared for, and I have no idea what I’m going to do about it.
