Page 31 of Thrust into the Light
I hurry and put my deodorant back. Not only does my stomach feel funny, but I feel hot. Not like when my face feels like it’s on fire, but I feel like my entire body has been inside the bathtub for a long time. I go back to the big table and sit down. Instructor Fry comes out with plates of food and sets them down, then goes back into the kitchen and brings out more food. Once the last plate is set down, Connor comes inside, and Instructor Payne follows behind him.
“Thank the Gods, I wanted to come check on you this morning to make sure you were okay. I also need to explain some of the shifter things to you before you get to class. You almost gave this old man a heart attack yesterday. And from now on, we are going to be doing something different from the rest of the class.” He sits down at the table next to Instructor Fry and they nod their heads at each other. Connor comes and sits down next to me and begins putting things on my plate. I smile up at him when he puts bacon on my plate. He points over to Instructor Payne, and I look over at him.
“Alright, so a few things Daniel and I talked about last night. You guys are going to need to try to load her up with as muchprotein as possible, as well as much calcium-rich foods you can. She may not like the taste of them, but with him upping how much healing he is going to do on her, the more her body can help him, the easier it will be for both of them. Also, she is going to start building muscles even if it is slow, the protein will help with that. Now, Farlen, Connor told me your shifter side has been a bit more active since your trip to the clinic.” I don’t know what that means, so I look over at Connor. “You’ve been rumbling a lot, and keep holding your stomach high up.”
I look back over at Instructor Payne. “This is natural, as your beast becomes more and more active. What we are worried about right now is trying to stop you from shifting. We don’t know what it will do to your body. And none of us want a repeat of yesterday. So today in class while I am teaching everyone how best to communicate with their beasts, I want you to try it too, but I don’t want you to try to coax yours to come out, I want you to tell yours that it isn’t safe yet, and it could hurt you okay?”
“Something in me could hurt me?” Instructor Payne looked at both Connor and Instructor Fry and looks back at me. “We aren’t sure what it could do, but with as much damage as your body has suffered and has never healed from, we don’t want to take the chance. I know Daniel has plans to hear your vocal cords before he starts on your scars, speaking of which, he asked me to remind you guys to let him know if you are okay with the student healers for that. But Farlen, around me, you don’t have to try to use your words, you can use head movement with me, and if I’m being dumb and don’t understand what you are trying to say you can hit me in the stomach or something to get my attention. I don’t want to strain them more than they already are.”
“She doesn’t like violence, or yelling. How about she crosses her arms and just sits down?”
“That could work. I have a daughter that does that when she doesn’t get her way and no one can figure out what exactly it is she wants.”
“One more thing before I go, Farlen. I want you to stay whereI can see you at all times during shifter class. We don’t know what your beast is yet, and it not only could hurt you, but could hurt others if it wants to come out and play. I also want you to make sure you don’t get too close to any of the other students. Some of them don’t have the best control right now, and they may sense your beast and perceive you as a threat. I also brought your clothes back from your locker. I wasn’t sure if you had other shoes or not to wear today.”
I smile up at him. I like those shoes better than the ones with strings on them. I slip them on my feet and finish eating my food. There were pancakes with peanut butter. I smile at Instructor Fry. He makes good bacon.
I look over to Connor and focus on my words, “No more order bacon. Instrucktor Fry make all bacon.” All the men at the table laugh at that.
“Farlen.” Instructor Fry says. “Please, just call me Zachariah. You are my match.”
I try to say his name in my head, but it’s hard. I look at Connor and touch my head.I can’t say it even in my head, it’s hard to say.
He smiles at me. “Yes, I could see how Zachariah could be hard to say. Why don’t you just try it and see how it sounds?”
I shake my head. My face feels like it’s on fire again. Instructor Fry looks sad. I don’t like him looking sad. I look at Connor and he looks kind of sad, too.
“Zakkkaria?” They both look up at me and smile.
“That was a very good first try. If it makes it easier on your Farlen, you can just call me Rhi. It’s something my family calls me.”
I say it in my head that is a lot easier. “Rhi!” I say. It sounded just like it did in my head. He gives me a big smile that makes it hard to breathe. And I get that funny feeling low in my stomach again. Instructor Payne gets up and leaves through the front door fast. I look around at Connor and Rhi. I touch my head.Did I do something bad?
“No, sweet girl, you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe Instructor Payne just needed to stand up and walk around for afew minutes. Well, go brush your teeth and we will all head out for the day.” I nod and go brush my teeth. The toothpaste and the sticky stuff that was on my pancakes don’t taste good together. I head out of my room and Connor is standing by the outside door, waiting. I look around for Rhi, and he comes out of a door near mine. I smile at him and he takes my hand and gives it a hand hug.
“If you need anything today, gorgeous, you know where my classroom is. Just come get me, or text Connor. Once classes are through for the day, I’ll make sure my number is on your phone, so you can send me messages anytime.” He makes a sad kind of noise and gives me a big hug. “Please be careful today. I can’t lose you.”
I smile and put my head on his chest. I can hear his heart like I could Connors. It’s going so fast. I put my hand on it. I can feel it bump against my hand. Is he scared? My heart only does that when I am scared.
“Don’t be scared,” I tell him and try to give him as big of a hug as he gave me, but I can’t get my arms all the way around him. He lets me go, and I walk over to Connor. He gives me a hug, too. I try to put my arms all the way around him too, but I can’t. I need bigger arms, or they need to be smaller. Connor steps back and looks at me, then laughs. He laughs so hard he holds his stomach and bends over funny.
Rhi walks over to him and does the eyebrow thing again. He needs to show me how to do that. Connor stands up and takes a few deep breaths.
“Sweet girl, you don’t need longer arms to hug us, and the bigger we are, the better we are to protect you. Don’t worry about trying to get your arms all the way around us. Just every time you give us a hug back, try to put everything you are feeling inside into it.”
Before we walk out the door, Rhi grabs my sunglasses and puts them on my face. I smile at him. These must be new ones, and they aren’t as dark as the other ones. We step outside and it takes me a few minutes to get used to how much different itlooks again. It hurts a little, but not too much. Instructor Payne is standing on the path. He sees us coming and nods to Rhi and Connor. They both give my hand a hand hug and let go of me. Instructor Payne walks over and looked at both of them. “I’ll protect her with my life, guys. She needs to show up to this alone, though, or they will eat her alive. She can’t show any weakness in front of them. They will think she is prey.”
Rhi nods and looks at Instructor Payne. “We are trusting you Tony, please don’t let it be out-of-place. Tell her everything she needs to know before she gets there. And keep me updated.” Instructor Payne nods to Rhi and to Connor and grabs my arm and pulls me with him.
“Alright Farlen, I know this is going to be hard for you to do, especially because you seem to smell of nothing but fear, but no matter what happens today, no matter what you see or hear, no one is going to hurt you. A lot of these guys like to use fear trying to get the weaker shifters to back down, to try to show dominance. You are going to be the only female in this class. Most women who are a predatory shifter tend not to be of the dangerous type. Their nurturing instincts usually suppress their desire to hurt. Again, I want you to know none of them will hurt you, even though they are going to want you to think they will. Some guys have some pretty wicked magic, but in my class they aren’t allowed to use it, so if you see them after class, just keep walking and get ahold of one of your guys. Make sure you find somewhere there are a lot of people and stay there until they come to get you.” I nod along with everything he says. I understand what he is saying, but how do I make myself not be afraid?
“How to not be afraid?” I ask him.
He blows out air from his mouth, and his lips make a funny sound.
“That is going to take years for you to master, and even then, I don’t think you can ever really get over that type of fear. But from what Connor has told me, you’ve seem to have come a long way since he met you. So just keep doing what you are doing,talking about what happened to you can help, if you put it into words and there are people there to help you through the fear, it makes it not seem so scary, especially if they are people you trust. But today, I want you to just focus on what I am going to tell you to do. I will handle most of the guys, and remember, stay where I can see you at all times, and don’t get too close to the guys.” I nod to him again.
“Alright, I want you to stand here, take deep breaths and count to ten five times. Then walk out onto the field. We are the only class out here on these days, and sometimes the class can go late into the day, depending on how everyone is doing and if people are struggling with what we are trying to do. When you come onto the field, stand far away from the guys. Don’t hide behind your hair. Find a spot in the trees in the distance and keep your eyes there. The entire time we stand there, okay?” I nod to him and he walks away. I start counting in my head. Making sure I take deep breaths, like he said. Once I get to ten five times, I walk out onto the field. There’s a strange tree far away, birds keep flying in and out of it, and that is the tree I look at as I walk out towards Instructor Payne. I can hear people close by on one of my sides, and I walk away from them.
