Page 112 of Protecting You
“It was about me. I mean, no offense to you. You’re a catch, and I’m sure she had a thing for you, but…” Alyssa stared beyond him. “She thought I had a crush on you, and…and maybe she wanted to hurt me.”
“Do you know why?”
“Do you?”
He shook his head. “She never talked about you. She never said anything except that you’d be hurt if you knew.”
“Right. So obviously the pointwasn’tto hurt me, or else she’d have told me.”
He’d been over all these questions a million times in the last few months. “I think the point was to beat you.”
“Oh.” Alyssa nodded slowly. “Yeah. That tracks. I mean, she was my friend, but she had some issues with… Well, she had some issues.”
It wasn’t as if Alyssa could tell Callan anything he hadn’t already figured out about Megan.
“Anyway, if her goal was to hurt you, then it was all for naught,” Callan said. “I tried to tell her that you didn’t have a crush on me and wouldn’t have cared…”
He lost his train of thought when Alyssa’s cheeks pinked in the harsh kitchen light.
“Right? You didn’t think about me that way.”
She reached for the bright red package, but he plopped his hand on top of hers. “Let’s not murder any more innocent cookies.” He gave the one she’d pulverized a pointed look, trying to sound lighthearted, but his heartbeat thumped as if its continuing to beat was contingent on her answer.
She sighed. “I might have had the teeniest crush on you.”
Far from making him smile, the words were a knife to his chest. He pulled away and settled his hands in his lap, staring at the table. He swallowed emotion crawling up his throat. Anger, frustration, and regret.
Alyssa sat unmoving across from him as if she sensed his turmoil.
He looked up. “I wish I’d known.”
“Why? What difference would it have made?”
“I had a crush on you too.”
She straightened, eyes widening. “What?”
“And it wasn’t teeny. It was… If I’d had any idea you shared my feelings, I wouldn’t have wasted one second with Megan.”
“I had no idea. I thought you found me…annoying.”
“Oh, I did. You were my only real competition. You think I want to be with a woman who can’t keep up with me intellectually? You think I want to spend my life with…”
His words trailed as two things occurred to him.
First, hehadspent a whole lot of time with a woman who couldn’t keep up with him intellectually. Though, to her credit, Megan had run circles around him in other areas of life. Like deceit and trickery. She’d been much better at those things than he could ever hope to be.
And he’d been a CIA field agent.
Second, what was Callan doing, mentioning spending his life with Alyssa or anyone? Making it sound as if he’d been thinking of marriage—to Alyssa—way back in college?
He’d considered the idea that she’d make the perfect life partner. But he didn’t need to say so. Not now, when it was too late.
“I found you annoying too.” Alyssa infused humor into her words, though he got the feeling she was trying to lighten the mood. “And handsome, and funny. I always envied your ability to make friends, real friends. Everybody loved you. I figured you had your pick of women on campus. Why would you be interested in me?”
“Because you’re gorgeous and brilliant.”
Her smile was shy. She tugged her hand out from beneath his and snatched another cookie.
