It felt like if she said it enough times, she might actually be able to believe it. It was entirely possible she’d fallen and hit her head and this was just a really detailed hallucination. It seemed more likely than a man turning into a bear. Even if she’d sat on his back and felt his fur between her fingers and seen him turn inside-out twice.
Finn nodded gravely, no hint of teasing in his eyes. “Yes. I can change my shape, Lauren. I come from a family of bears, and I live with a bunch now. A whole crew of us on the other side of the park, at a place called the Lodge. We run tours for folks all through the park and into this part of the forest—hunting, fishing, hiking, rock climbing, skiing, that sort of thing.”
“Oh,” she said. What else was there to say? Maybe she’d eaten some of those strange red-purple berries at the edge of the field where she’d set up her Bigfoot cameras and she was tripping out of the freakin’ universe. Why wouldn’t a bunch ofbears lead camping trips through the woods? Maybe they held picnics, too.
He took a deep breath and moved her to the mattress so she could see him better, and lay on his side to watch her without looming over her. Lauren appreciated it, although it wasn’t like it really mattered: he could catch her before she reached the door even if she tied him to the fireplace and got a running head start. Finn’s touched her ankle, a warm, reassuring weight. “I’m sure you’ve got questions. Is there anything you want to ask me?”
Her heart beat faster. Boy, did he not even realize what he’d offered. Lauren swallowed the knot in her throat, then blurted out, “Why are you still here?”
His eyebrows rose and the silence stretched. Lauren held her breath. Probably not the best question to ask him right off the bat, but at least she would get an answer sooner rather than later.
FINN
His only responsibility was to not frighten her, to not drive her off. No matter what she said or did or asked, his bear side needed her close by. When he felt her on the mattress next to him, he tried to create a little separation and focused on her ankle instead of the sexy curves all over the rest of her. He offered to tell her anything, hoping she would distract him with metaphysical questions about his bear side, but instead she asked the hardest thing to answer.
Why was he still there? Finn could have left. Could have easily disappeared in the snow, maybe left her with the sat phone and some money so she had a fighting chance. He could have sent Shotgun and his guys after the smugglers and everything would have gone back to normal. Finn could have returned to the Lodge and the tedium of regular life surrounded by happy families. And cats. So many cats after Zoe’s pregnancy. Cats everywhere. And not a single one of them gave a shit about confronting a bear. He’d surrendered more than one fish to a feline due to Zoe’s likely reaction if any of those damn cats had a whisker out of place.
But he couldn’t tell Lauren why he stayed. She’d bolt. It was bad enough they were trapped in a cabin in a blizzard and she’dlearned he turned into a bear, not to mention the armed drug smugglers searching for the forest, but if he just announced that they were soul mates or meant to meet… What sane woman would stick around for that? She didn’t have a choice in that moment, but the second the snow melted, she’d run. Of course she would. She’d already shown a proclivity for dodging problems instead of confronting them. What if he became just another thing for her to flee, like the warrant and bounty and everything else?
His hesitation told too much of a story, though, since her face fell and a guarded expression replaced whatever openness had been there. Finn wasn’t good at this kind of stuff. He didn’t deal with feelings and shit. He left that up to the other guys, the smarter ones or at least the ones who faked it better. “Well, you saved my life, to start with. I need to repay the favor.”
Lauren frowned and shifted around on the mattress, turning onto her side to face him more. The blanket slipped and revealed the smooth, soft spot between her throat and shoulder. “I don’t believe you.”
She shouldn’t have. At least those instincts seemed to be working all right, even if the rest of her wasn’t suited to subterfuge. “It’s true, it’s just not the whole reason.”
Her eyebrows rose and she waited.
Finn huffed a laugh and ran his hands through his hair. He was a coward. A damn coward. “Couldn’t you ask me something easy, like how I turn into a bear?”
“I already know that,” she said.
“You do?” Finn shoved to his feet to pace, despite the overwhelming exhaustion from the day’s exertions and the deep twinge of pain in his leg. It was mostly healed but not all the way, and the bone ached every time he moved. He needed more protein and rest before he attempted any more heroics.
“Yeah,” Lauren said. She watched him, still wary. “Magic.”
He stopped to look at her, hands on his hips, and struggled to come up with a response. He couldn’t argue with it. No one really knew how the shift happened, just that it came from genetics, transmitted like a virus in certain circumstances, and happened during extreme emotional events. Sure, it could have been magic.
When he didn’t rebut the announcement, Lauren sat all the way up. She winced as she moved but Finn didn’t trust himself to get close enough to help her. Not yet. Not when the bear was close to the surface from having to confront their feelings for her. If he was a good guy, he wouldn’t have even considered sticking around her. With his luck, Shotgun would jump the gun and come after anything moving in the park, including him, and being close to him would put Lauren in danger. And Finn didn’t have his own place, so asking her to stay with him in his buddy’s house wasn’t exactly going to blow her socks off. What did he have to offer her except his fucked-up bear side and a whole lot of nightmares?
“Sure,” he said finally. “Magic. Right.”
And he ran out of words.
Lauren took a deep breath. “I know I don’t have any right to question you, since you saved my life and so far you’restillsaving my life right now because I think I’d be frozen right now if it weren’t for you, but… I’m tired of not knowing what’s going on. I’m tired of feeling out of control and floating along waiting for something else to happen. I want to know why you’re still here.”
He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. He couldn’t say it. If he said it, if he admitted who she was to him, he’d want to kiss her. He’dneedto kiss her. And once he started kissing her, how the fuck was he supposed to stop? Even the freezing trickles of air that still leaked into the cabin weren’t enough to distract him.
“I want to know why you’re looking at me like that,” she whispered, her breathing uneven.
“Like what?” He forced the words out even as the bear roared to be let out, to touch her and be next to her. She hadn’t run away. She hadn’t thrown anything at him or wrapped up in a blanket to hide from him. Maybe she wouldn’t flee. Maybe if he took the next step it wouldn’t backfire on him.
“Like you see something no one else does,” Lauren said. Her voice trembled like her hands as she picked at loose threads on the blanket.
God, she was going to kill him. He needed to comfort her. He didn’t like the uncertainty, the wariness. He didn’t like her questioning why he stayed to protect her.
Finn took a deep breath and paced a few more limping steps. Maybe it would be easier to say if he didn’t look at her, didn’t see her immediate reaction. If she grimaced or flinched when he said it, Finn didn’t think he’d recover. But did he want to miss it and chase her, not knowing whether she wanted to be caught? His frustration strangled in his throat and the bear grumbled in annoyance. This was too much thinking. The bear didn’t like complex things. The bear liked simple: hungry meant eating, fatigue meant sleeping, lust meant fucking. That was it. Maybe anger meant fighting.
That was definitely it.
