“No,” Dodge muttered. He reined in the wolf as much as he could, but he didn’t get up from his futon. He didn’t trust his legs or his balance enough to get up in front of Todd. “I’ll be upstairs in a minute. I’ll behave.”
“See that you do.” Todd gave him one last long look, then trudged upstairs and shouted at someone else about washing the dishes and using a tablecloth for once.
Dodge scowled into the half-light after the cellar door thudded shut. He glanced at the whiskey bottle, but put it back on the shelf. There was time to finish it later, after dinner, when he could be alone again. He traded a look with Silas, who rolled his eyes and did his best to ignore as the cat purred and kneaded his paws into Silas’s back, and finally started trying to get up. “Fine. I’ll go to dinner. It better be good. Who the fuck is even coming over? We don’t have guests.”
Silas grumbled and stretched out, closing his eyes for a nap. The cat finally settled down on the wolf’s shoulder in a ball with his tail over his nose, his eyes still following Dodge with a curious intensity.
Dodge envied Silas. Things would have been easier if he’d remained stuck as a wolf, so long as he remained in his right mind. Even the cat was happier than he was.
He finally hauled himself out of the cellar and up to his old room so he could shower and find clothes that were mostly clean. Mercy had been after him to clean up and deal with the laundry, though he’d dragged his heels about that too. There didn’t seem to be any reason to worry about clean jeans or shirts without stains on them, not if Persephone wasn’t in his life. None of it mattered without her.
He stayed in the shower until the water ran cold – not because he enjoyed it, but because he dreaded facing the bed where they’d been together. He’d felt things he’d never felt with any woman before her. He’d never feel them again. Dodge groaned and let the freezing water run over him. Maybe it would numb him enough to get through the next couple of hours and whatever dinner Deirdre and Evershaw subjected him to.
He closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the pain. He could get through it and then return to the cellar and his bottle of booze. He just had to survive a couple of hours.
Chapter 50
Percy
Istared at the instructions, then at the test. Over and over and over again, because what I saw didn’t compute. It wasn’t possible. It just wasn’t possible.
Pregnant. A positive test.Pregnant.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting in the bathroom, trying to figure out what the fuck had happened, but eventually Deirdre knocked on the door. She, too, looked a little pale and shaken.
Our eyes met and it was clear we’d gotten the same news.
I couldn’t speak, my mouth hanging open as I held up the test I’d peed on. She held up hers and took a very, very deep breath. “So. Here we are.”
It was too weird. It felt like I hadn’t known her long enough to be showing her something I’d peed on, or leaning on her when I’d gotten life-changing news. Of course, she’d been there the last time I got life-changing news, that werewolves and witches actually existed. So maybe it was meant to be.
Deirdre tilted her head at the living room. “I’m going to go sit on the couch and try to get my head around this, if you want to join me. Whenever you’re ready.”
She staggered back to the couch to flop down and shake her head, staring off at nothing.
I’d always thought if I was pregnant, there would be a husband, a house, and aplan. That it would be an immediate barrage of joy and excitement, that there would be someone else with me who really, really wanted that little life. My chest felt tight and everything went hot and then cold. I had to hold onto the sink so I didn’t fall off the toilet.
My throat closed until it grew harder to breathe. What was I going to tell Dodge?ShouldI tell Dodge? Did he care? Did he deserve to know? I covered my face and leaned forward, trying to block out reality. First thing first, I had to find a doctor and make an appointment. ASAP. Maybe the test was wrong and a blood test would have a different result. But in my heart I knew it was accurate. I was pregnant with Dodge’s baby.
There had to be a good book to read on how to deal with things like that. To-do lists and checklists and a flow-chart or something to help navigate what the fuck I was supposed to do. What the hell was the step after the doctor’s appointment? Prenatal vitamins? Did I stop eating cheese? Was I going to get a raging caffeine headache from giving up my espresso, cold turkey?
I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes as my heart beat faster and I started to shake. I was going to be a mom, probably a single mom. Facing the world without a real job or savings, not paying for my own apartment, and surrounded by people who turned into lions and wolves and occasionally went around killing people if they thought they deserved it.
I froze, staring at the bathroom floor. People who turned into lions and wolves.Dodgeturned into a wolf, and if it was his baby... I lurched to my feet and headed for the living room. They’d said at the restaurant that shifters were born or turned.Born.
Deirdre looked up as I approached, a hint of concern crossing her expression. “You’re looking a little crazy, Percy. Sit down for a sec and we can talk.”
I couldn’t sit but paced back and forth, grabbing my hair as I tried to keep the thoughts in my head in order. It was just too much to process. Too much to understand and plan for and deal with. There wasn’t a clear solution to this problem. There wasn’t a checklist to deal with having a baby who was part wolf and the dad probably didn’t want to be with me. “I... What am I going to do?”
She massaged her temples. “Well, we should probably...”
I couldn’t wait for her to finish before the words burst out of me and tears blurred my vision for the third or fourth time that day. “Dodge doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. He hasn’t said a word or visited since I left the hospital. How am I supposed to tell him this? He’s going to be trapped and he already hates me. It’s not like he signed up to be a father.”
“Well, about that...” she started again, holding a hand up to catch my attention.
But there was too much going on in my head. Too many new problems. Panic swirled up until I started to feel it in my chest, and shoulders, and guts, sending my hands shaking and my heart fluttering. Tears streamed down my face. “And – and it’s Dodge’s baby, one hundred percent. There’s no other possibility. And he’s a shifter. He was born that way. His mother was a shifter but his dad was human. Does that mean the baby will be human becauseI’mhuman? Or does it matter? Am I going to have a - a - a puppy? A wolf? How the hell will I find a daycare that can deal with a kid who turns into a puppy?”
And I turned to stare at her, as if the witch had all the answers.
