Page 99 of Keep Me
“Why not? Matty is the kindest, smartest, and funniest man I know.”
All eyes were on me, including the waiter’s, who had walked in during my speech. Okay, so I might have been a little more fired up than usual, but I was so tired of listening to these two talking.
Matty took my hand, and I looked back at Ben and Olana. “My mother always told me it was polite to say ‘It’s nice to meet you,’ even when it wasn’t. However, I can’t do that for either of you.”
With that, I guided Matty out of the room and away from the restaurant in silence.
What a shitshow the night turned out to be.
Chapter 22
Sitting in Matty’s car, the air was thick with tension. Much like the drive over, Matty hadn’t spoken. He hadn’t said a word since we left the restaurant, and I was feeling uneasy about how I handled things.
His father set him up.
Olana setmeup.
And not only that, I acted like a bulldozer and pulled Matty out of there before he had time to defend himself. He was like a rag doll being pulled in two directions, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was just as bad as them. Was I controlling him in a different way?
My head was spinning, and my brain ached. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I’d made things a hell of a lot worse for him. Although I said I wanted a divorce, I wasn’t so sure I felt the same way. Not after all of that.
I glanced over at him from the corner of my eye, and I didn’t know what to say. It felt like my entire world had been flipped upside down because of one short dinner. It didn’t matter howmany times I told myself that things would be fine. Matty wasn’t expecting a child and he wasn’t engaged, I still felt anxiety creeping up my throat. He wasn’t the problem. I was. I was the one who screwed things up, not him.
I was unwilling to talk, too worried that my heart would be broken, all the while, I broke Matty’s. All the conversations we’d had during the semester came tumbling back into my mind, and I was ashamed of the way I’d acted.
Why had I listened to Olana in Vegas? I took her words at face value because she was in his room wearing his shirt, but what if nothing happened? She’d tricked me about the pregnancy, so I had no doubt that she’d lied about everything else.
Would this entire mess have been avoided if I’d stayed? Would my marriage to Matty have started off differently? Was I a victim of the butterfly effect? Had all of this happened because I was so unwilling to talk to my husband?
But then I remembered that night.
Prickles of tears burned my eyes.
She was in his room, wearing his shirt. The blankets were all over the place, and he was in the shower. How could I not think they’d gotten back together when that’s what they always do? I didn’t know what was true and what wasn’t anymore.
Something happened between them that night. Somethingafterhe was with me, and I still didn’t know what.
As we pulled up to my dorm block, I glanced up to my floor and felt uneasy. I didn’t know where we went from here. Matty opened his door and rounded the car to open mine and held his hand out. An offer to help me out even though he still hadn’t looked at me, and I wasn’t going to force him. There were too many people in Matty’s life thinking they could control him. I didn’t want to be that.
As I took his hand and got out of the car, the chilly breeze drifted across my bare legs. “Thank you,” I mumbled, trying toignore the fact my body was warming at the touch of our hands. My stomach bottomed out. My chest constricted, and suddenly, the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted his hands all over me. For the first time since Vegas, I didn’t try to stop it. I let the feeling of wanting him radiate through my body with no guilt.
But nothing was likely to happen between us. Not soon, at least. How could it? I’d yelled at his dad and ex.
As if I needed any more confirmation of that fact, Matty let go of my hand, shutting the door in the process.
Why did this feel so weird?
We were standing together with nothing to say. That had never happened to us before. We were always friends, but now it felt like we were strangers.
I opened my mouth, ready to tell Matty he deserved better than the way his father and Olana treated him, but I couldn’t get it out. I needed to know what he was thinking first, but he hadn’t said a damn thing.
“Oh!” I opened my bag and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper, trying to hold back my somber laugh. Our marriage certificate was crumpled and ripped in places. Much like our relationship, it had been battered and bruised, and I wasn’t sure it would hold up to any more scrutiny, but I held out hope.
His green eyes watched the paper as it moved with the breeze. “Can’t forget this. The sole reason we went out tonight.”
“Right,” he said, taking it off me, then opened the car so he could throw it back in there. He slammed the door shut, making me jump.
“I guess I’ll see you—”
