Page 33 of Keep Me
By the end of the summer, I thought he’d finally given up, but the week we got back here, he ramped up the messages again.
I couldn’t hide from him forever. We were in a lot of the same classes, but I had to protect myself.
My brain knew my place in Matty’s life, but my heart was fighting against it. There was no way I could hear him say “I’m engaged” without crumpling onto the floor in a mess and crying my eyes out.
He would never be mine.
I hoped if I saw pictures of the happy couple together, it might help desensitize me to the entire experience. Pictures were still. A memory frozen in time that couldn’t watch my heartbreak.
Talking would destroy me. His low, buttery tone was my kryptonite and had the ability to make my legs wobble without even trying.
I bit down on my bottom lip as tears threatened to fall just thinking about it.
He’d try to let me down gently, saying he still wanted to be friends. Then I’d have to say it was a drunken mistake and none of it counted. He’d probably sigh from relief and tell me how in love with Olana he was, and being the dutiful best friend, I’d have to behappyfor him.
My stomach dropped thinking about the prospect. Would he make me Best Woman at their wedding like Reign did withAdam? Clutching the Pepto, I took another slug, wondering if it were possible to overdose on this stuff but not inclined to stop.
As though he could hear my thoughts, Matty’s name popped up on my screen.
Matty: Hey. Are you on campus yet?
I flexed my fingers, stopping myself from sending him a rambling message filled with expletives, telling him to leave me alone. What good would that do?
He’d made his choice. I’d given everything I had to him, and it still wasn’t enough compared to Olana. Yelling and screaming would only make me look unhinged.
And hearing the words come out of his mouth wouldn’t do me any favors either.
It was stupid, and I was deluded. I needed to move on. A task that would be a little easier if I didn’t have to talk to him.
Taking a deep breath, I shook the thoughts out of my head and sat up straighter. I wouldn’t let Matty or his lack of love for me affect me anymore. It wasn’t worth it.
I turned my phone around and grazed my fingers across the keyboard, erasing my old answer forSpillitand replacing it with a new one.
Dear Minktoast
Times are tough, why not spice things up by showing your boyfriend a different side of you? Have you tried buying some new toys for the bedroom? That’s always a plot twist.
Kisses,
Spillit
There.
I wasn’t getting any anytime soon, but at least Minktoast was.
Chapter 8
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, doing everything I could to block out the argument going on in my new living room.
Thea, my roommate Tanner’s sister, was blocking the baseball game as she argued with her brother about something. It was nothing new for the twins, and I assumed it all started in the womb, but I didn’t find it amusing. Today was too important for that.
Thea groaned loudly, flopping onto the sofa while glaring at Tanner. “Just because you don’t think I should do it, doesn’t mean I have to listen to you.”
“Don’t you think it would be wise to listen to someone who has more information on the topic?”
“Don’t you think it would be wise to not talk to your sister like a Grade-A asshole?” she mocked.
Jackson sputtered out his drink, smiling at me. I didn’t smile back. Instead, I swiped my hands across the countertop before blowing out a breath and dropping my head between my shoulders.
