Page 12 of Shattered Love
Avery
The sky is grey.It hasn’t stopped raining all week.
We get out of the car and I flinch when I see the black coffin covered in white lilies.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I can’t be sick—not now.
Ever since that night at the hospital, I’ve been sick. Trauma is what the doctors say. I’ve been through an ordeal and it is just my body’s way of coping.
I feel a big hand wrap around mine. I look up into green eyes and my eyes instantly fill with tears.
“Beautiful.”
Just one word and my lip trembles while my tears fall. I pull tight against his chest. Ever since that night, he’s held me tighter.
“It’s good to see you both. Dominic, I’ll see you Monday.”
Dominic nods. “Yes, sir.” Dominic sergeant walks over Mac and a few of the other officers.
Dominic was shot in the shoulder and as he went down, he hit his head, knocking him unconscious. The blood on Mac’s shirt had been from another officer, a young officer named Devon who had only recently joined the force.
Dominic had heard me call his name, but the doctors wouldn’t let him up. The moment I screamed, though, nothing could stop him from coming for me.
I haven't slept since that night, the nightmares claim me every time I close my eyes. I keep seeing Mac covered in blood, only this time, he isn't alive and he doesn’t save me.
I haven’t been able to stop crying, though, even with Cooper staying close, because I feel guilty. I was so overwhelmed that Dominic had been spared, that whatever God there is was looking down on me, that it wasn’t my husband who had died. I was so happy.
Then I learned of Officer Devon’s death. I had only met him twice, but he was an incredibly smart kid with high hopes and a beautiful fiancée. He was someone’s brother and son.
I feel bad for feeling happy and guilty for having my husband when they lost so much. I know their pain. I felt it, if only for a second. It’s overwhelming pain. It’s so much pain, it felt like I was drowning.
The coffin is brought in and the cries of Officer Devon’s family are heard all through the church. Dominic pulls me close as my silent tears fall.
I’m so sorry, but I need my Dominic—I need my heart. I’m so sorry, Devon.
When we get back to the house, Cooper doesn’t jump around us. Instead, he waits for me to sit before climbing next to me and laying his head on my lap.
Dominic takes a seat in front of me, gripping my hands tight. “Avery.”
I look into his beautiful green eyes as my first tear falls. “I’m so damn happy you’re okay. Those couple of minutes where I thought you were dead…”
My chest is tight like someone is sitting on me, I try to even out my breathing but feels like I can’t get enough, I feel hot and rub my clammy hands on my dress. Closing my eyes and trying to block out the pain, I need him to understand. “It killed me. I may as well have been buried with you. But then, you were there, hurt but alive. God, Dominic, I thanked every God there is.” Tears spill down my cheeks faster than I can wipe them away. “Then I learned it was Devon. He’s just starting out, he was due to get married soon. I was happy because it wasn’t you, but someone died. Someone died and I’m happy.” There. The truth was finally out. I was messed up, drowning, and didn’t know which way was up anymore.
Dominic doesn’t say anything. Letting me cry big heaving sobs, until finally they become shudders.
Grabbing my hand. “Beautiful, we are going to take all this shit you’re feeling apart, bit by bit. Okay? We’re going to do it together. And then we are going to put you back together, because Avery, you're killing me more than any bullet could. Seeing you like this is destroying me. I won’t let you disappear. I Goddamn need you to survive. You will not leave me. I live for you.”
I look at Dominic, confused. “I wouldn’t.”
Grabbing my face. “You already are. You won’t look me in the eyes. I need you to look me in the eyes.”
There’s no time for me to answer. Instead, he picks me up bridal style and carries me to our bedroom.
Stripping me bare, leaving nothing but my panties, then strips himself. He lays me down on the bed before doing the same. Our eyes connect.
“Alright, baby, let’s rip this darkness apart. But you’ve got to help me, beautiful. We’re a team, me and you, us together. We don’t work without each other.”
My lip starts trembling. “I’ll try.”
